The Reunion
by bebraver
Summary: 5 years after graduation, Rachel Berry has a Tony. Quinn Fabray is the lead on a network show. Both return to Lima with some questions, they soon reconnect, but life is complicated and so is love when you're trying to make it in hollywood.- SHELVED
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: and yesterday I decided I wanted to write something new. This is it. Five years after they win Nationals, the glee kids return to Lima for a mini-reunion. Rachel Berry has just won a Tony. Quinn Fabray is an up and coming TV actor and she is about to take the lead on a big network show. They live on opposite sides of the country, and have everything they could ever dream of, but they both have a reason to return to a place they once called home. A tentative reconnection soon blossoms into a whole lot more, but can Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray actually get it right? You'll have to read and find out.**

**I'll aim for weekly updates but ****I am writing something else (faberry) at the moment and this is kind of a side project for now.**

**Its M rated because I tend to get frustrated if it isn't and sex is good, but it may not happen for a while.**

**Mistakes are mine. Glee is not.**

xxx

Rachel hesitated as she reached the door, her outstretched hand began to shake, not that anyone would notice, not that anyone is there to see, but she does, she can't miss it. The music inside is loud, she's been here before and the memories are overwhelming.

Things have changed a bit, the decor is the most obvious, its now five years since she last walked the halls of McKinley High, five years since she last saw anyone from Lima that she wasn't related to. She wasn't sure if she was excited or scared about what lay on the other side of that door but her heart was racing, she was about to be reunited with her old friends, her old glee club.

A vow was made when they won nationals in senior year. They all swore to return, just them, the glee kids. It had been Artie's idea and she'd actually forgotten until the embossed invitation appeared in her postbox 2 short months ago.

It would be the first time she had seen any of them in that time. She had meant to keep in touch, but New York quickly took over her whole life. Rachel had become all that she had ever wanted to be, Juilliard had accepted her, she'd soon landed a role on Broadway and a month ago she'd won her first Tony. A script for a film was at home on her coffee table, waiting for her to read. Yes, Rachel thought, she had everything she'd ever wanted, except for one thing. She still hadn't found love, she'd left that behind in Lima, five years ago.

Taking a last deep breath she reached out and pushed the door open. Heads didn't turn when she entered the room, in fact no one seemed to notice her and she felt a little awkward standing there waiting for someone to acknowledge her presence, gripping to her purse with both hands, she took a deep breath and made a quick scan of the room.

Artie was by the punch bowl talking with Puck and Sam. Mercedes was tucking into the buffet and had Mike and Tina for company. The couple were clearly still together and Rachel realized how little she knew of these peoples lives now. She wondered if they had followed her progress, she guessed someone must have as they knew where to send the invite.

Kurt had changed, she could see that much, he was older and it showed, his lust for fashion was still apparent and his love for Blaine too as she observed the pair laughing along with Finn. She took another uneasy breath as her eyes landed on the boy she once loved. Perhaps she was staring too long because he eventually looked up and saw her.

"Rachel." He called across the room and suddenly all eyes were on her and her private viewing was over, she'd not even found the person she was looking for.

Awkward embrace, after awkward embrace ensued until she found herself wrapped in his arms, his smell was still familiar and his warmth, strangely comforting.

"Hey Finn, everyone." She spoke to those gathered close to her.

"Good to see you Rach, you look awesome." Finn smiled his lopsided grin.

"She looks hot," Santana cut in. "Too hot for you Hudson."

"Not bad yourself Lopez." Rachel grinned offering the girl a light hug. They'd parted on good terms and after Santana came out they'd actually become friends. Rachel found that she had strangely missed her cutting remarks these last few years.

"Still taken, but maybe Britt's might consider letting you join us?" Santana wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, before both girls burst into fits of laughter, mostly thanks to Finn's stunned expression.

"You bat for the other team?" Finn gulped.

"I keep my options open." Rachel replied as she accepted a drink from Mercedes, turning her back on Finn and the conversation she didn't want to have with him.

"A Tony? I have to admit I'm kind jealous." Mercedes took Rachel's arm and led her away from the group. They'd all get a chance to catch up, it wasn't just a one night thing, Rachel was in town for the weekend. A rare break from her now hectic schedule.

The group talked, sang and danced. Rachel laughed and relaxed, she hadn't felt this good in a long time. She'd managed to make her way around the room and talk to all her old friends, but there was one missing, the one she had wanted to see most of all.

"Where's Quinn?" she finally asked of Santana.

"No one really hears from her, a bit like you I guess Berry." The girl shrugged.

"I'm sorry, I'm not the best friend anyone ever had, but you know I have so much on and I never have time."

"Five years! You could have called, you could have answered my emails. I know you got all famous on us, but still last I checked we were still friends on your Facebook."

"My media company runs it."

"The private one." Santana looked at her knowingly, she wasn't going to fall for Rachel's brush off.

"Oh." Rachel knew she should have been more active. Ignoring her past had been an all too easy choice once she got to New York though.

"But you came tonight, so I guess that counts. Q on the other hand..."

"She isn't coming?"

"No idea. I think you best talk to Puck, he's the only one she has any contact with, you know Beth and stuff."

"Sure." Rachel looked over at Puck, he hadn't changed much in appearance but she knew he'd straightened out. She was still in touch with Shelby, it wasn't a perfect relationship, but Shelby had come to her opening night, as promised, and Rachel adored Beth. She never asked Shelby about Quinn, but she did know she was active in Beth's life, sending gifts and visiting occasionally.

Rachel knew all about Quinn, how could she not? The blonde had gone to L.A. after graduation. She'd got bit parts on various popular shows, before becoming a series regular on a sci-fi hit. Her name appeared in magazines when she was linked with this guy or that. It was just gossip fodder, Rachel had the same links herself once her name became a little more known after the Tony nomination.

Puck smiled at her, she waved him over and watched as he crossed the room. "Hey stranger! So you came back, didn't think you'd be here." He tilted his head and placed a kiss to her cheek.

"I've not been the best at keeping contact Noah. Sorry." Rachel offered with a sad smile.

"S'okay, you're still my hot Jewish princess."

"How's Quinn?" Rachel blurted. Causing Puck to knot his eyebrows together before answering her.

"Still a little crazy. I hear from her sometimes, but, well she's still Quinn, big celeb or not."

"Do you know if she's coming this weekend?"

"I don't know babe." He shook his head. "Perhaps coming back to Lima now is a bit too soon for her, you know after everything."

"I don't." Rachel shook her head. "What's everything?"

"Her Dad, he turned up one night after graduation and kinda assaulted her Mom."

"He kinda?" Rachel was burning with rage.

"He slapped her about a little, then had a heart attack or something. Quinn saw it all. There was no reviving him. Quinn left a week later."

"And Judy? She was okay?"

"Yeah she moved to be with Q's sister. So Quinn has no ties here, not now, Shelby taking Beth to Boston and all."

Rachel felt like she'd been kicked in the stomach, how could she not know all this. There were two years before she saw Quinn walk on screen, two whole years that Rachel had been self-absorbed and in denial that she even cared for anyone from Lima.

"Do you have an address?"

"In L.A?"

"Yes, Noah, I have to see her." Rachel couldn't disguise the urgency.

"Uh, yeah I guess, but aren't you like enemies and..."

"We made up, we lost touch. I have to find her."

"I'll bring it to lunch tomorrow." He said a little taken aback by Rachel's forcefulness.

"Thank you." She gently squeezed his arm. "I think I should get back to my Dads. Its been a long day, flights in and everything. So lovely to see you though. Say bye to everyone for me." She rushed out of the door, needing time to get her thoughts together.

Once locked inside her old bedroom she pulled out her iPad and searched for all the news she could find on Quinn Fabray. Rachel had always believed in thorough research and she knew this might be the most important project she'd ever worked on.

She woke at 3am, fully clothed, sprawled on top of her bed. Her thoughts quickly returned to Quinn and she continued her search.

Lunch took forever to come around, but she did manage some quality time with her Dads, she already had a good idea about how the day would pan out, so she decided to try to squeeze in as much as she could.

Noah was good to his word and handed her a piece of paper on his arrival. "Just be careful." He spoke quietly so no one else could hear. She looked up at him quizzically. "You're still Rachel Berry, I know you and I know Quinn, don't let her tear you apart."

Rachel swallowed thickly, she hadn't realized that Noah was so intuitive, but it didn't stop her. Somewhere in her mind she had convinced herself that she needed to save Quinn Fabray, from what or who she couldn't say, but she was sure it'd all become clear once she boarded the plane to Los Angeles that night.

Her plotting was interrupted as Finn pulled out the chair next to her.

"You ran off last night? I was hoping to talk to you. Maybe we could get coffee later?" he asked.

"I can't. I'm leaving tonight."

"Oh, I thought you were here all weekend?"

"I have somewhere else I need to be and only a few days off, I wish I could stay, but I have to do this now, I hope everyone understands, I feel bad running off so soon, but...well its just important."

"No, I get it. You are like all super famous and all that now."

Rachel shook off his comments and tried to bring her mind back to Lima.

"How are you Finn, I mean really?"

"Good, you know, I took over the tyre shop last Fall. Burt is okay, but well Mom wanted to enjoy a retirement. I came to see Kurt once, I tried to get in touch with you, but New York was kinda overwhelming."

"Kurt lives in New York?" Rachel realised that she really didn't know anything about any of her old classmates.

"It's the place for fashion, or so I've been told. You know he switched and got into design, he's really good. Maybe one day you'll wear him to the Oscars or something."

"I know so little."

"It's a shame you aren't sticking around. We all missed you."

Rachel felt guilty, perhaps she should stay. Just as she was wavering on her decision, there was a commotion at the other end of the table. Kurt was standing, his hand over his heart. His eyes focussed on something behind Rachel, turning she saw what he'd been looking at, or rather who.

Quinn Fabray.

Rachel felt her breath catch, the girl was now a woman and somehow she was even prettier than Rachel remembered. She was a lot sexier too and Rachel blushed when she realized she'd been caught raking her eyes over Quinn's body. The blonde smiled at her warmly as she joined the group.

"Room for one more?" she asked before being pulled into hugs. Rachel sat and watched as Quinn responded to question after question that the group fired at her. She wished she hadn't been stuck with Finn at her side. She couldn't join the hugs, but she did get the chance to watch.

Every now and then Quinn would make eye contact, sometimes rolling her eyes at the question. Rachel just smiled back, not sure if it was for her benefit or not.

"And Rachel too." Quinn's voice travelled across the table.

Rachel realized everyone was looking at her. "huh?" her eloquence lost.

"I was just saying that you have made it too." Quinn repeated.

"I um, you, I've seen you on the T.V." Rachel stuttered.

"Yes, and I saw you winning a Tony." Quinn replied, not phased by Rachel's sudden inability to speak.

"I did, I mean _you_ did?"

"Couldn't miss it, I was so happy for you, so proud. I saw your play too."

"You did?" Rachel's words were echoed around the room as all eyes returned to Quinn.

"What? None of you guys went? Well, you missed out, Rachel was...well she was Rachel." Quinn sent Rachel the same warm smile she'd used when she walked into the room.

"I can't believe you were there. Why didn't you come backstage?" Rachel was still stunned at the words falling from Quinn's mouth, had she known Quinn was there that night, well she wasn't sure what she'd have done, but knowing now made her feel so happy.

"Commitments. I had to run, but I wanted to be there. I mean opening night is special."

"You were at opening night?" Rachel was completely shocked. Quinn just nodded back at her, a small smile being bitten back as she chewed her bottom lip.

"I can give you a full on critique of your performance later if you like?"

"I, yes." Rachel said breathily.

"She can't." Finn spoke loudly, knocking Rachel from her Quinn centric world. Both women turned to look at the man. "She's leaving, she told me."

"Oh." Quinn didn't hide her disappointment and Rachel was surprised at how giddy it made her feel.

"I...uh...no. I'm not. I want to stay. The other thing, well it can wait." Rachel waved her hand dismissively. "Besides Finn, you made me realize I had a lot more catching up to do. I can't just go now." Rachel saw the look Puck gave her from across the table and she quickly looked away.

"That's a relief." Quinn had followed the exchange of looks between Rachel and Puck and narrowed her eyes at the man, she still didn't trust him after all his messing around with Shelby.

"Great, we can get that coffee." Finn piped up and Rachel didn't miss the grimace on Quinn's face.

"Hmm, yeah." She nodded.

Any further conversation with Quinn was halted as the food arrived and Tina garnered the blondes attention.

Rachel couldn't take her eyes off Quinn, Finn babbled away next to her but she was paying little attention. She watched as Quinn spoke to a waitress and then wrote something on a napkin, before pointing towards Rachel. The waitress hand it to Rachel a moment later.

_When you are done with the boy, call me. I'd like to catch up. Qx_

Underneath was Quinn's cell number. Rachel looked up and grinned. She tapped the number in her phone. Watching as Quinn fiddled in her purse to retrieve her cell, before reading the text Rachel had sent.

_You now have my private number, my agent might kill me! Call me at 3.30pm. We can go to Breadstix. Rx_

Quinn laughed aloud and tapped out a reply.

_Is it still open? Not sure I'm happy that Finn comes between us again, but I can wait. Five years has been too long. Qx p.s. this is my private number too, you are on a very select list. Qx_

_I feel bad. Can you see my sad face. But he kind of asked and then you walked in... Rx_

Quinn looked up and Rachel gave her the full benefit of her pouty bottom lip, the blonde shook her head, but it didn't stop the laughter.

_Sad face is cute ;) So I need to kill my agent for making me get a later flight? I miss out to Hudson all for the lead in a new show._

_The lead? Really?_

_I'll tell you all about it later. It's good to see you Rach. Qx_

Rachel looked up and saw Quinn still watching her, the warm smile was replaced by something more intense and Rachel couldn't wait to have some time alone later. She hadn't expected this at all, but she liked it a lot. Quinn looked so at peace with herself, not like the messed up teenager she remembered and that alone made her feel happy.

xxx

**A/N: Thoughts? Comments? Reviews?**

**I said weekly updates above, but will probably try to get the second chapter together in the next few days...**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews and follows. You are awesome.**

**Mistakes are mine, Glee is not.**

* * *

><p>The lunch soon finished as the old gang chatted and reminisced about their past times together, Rachel didn't get a chance to speak to Quinn in private, but she didn't mind, she was just happy they'd be getting together later. It really had felt like an eternity since she last saw the girl. They had a shaky past, Rachel couldn't deny that, but they'd become friends at the end of senior year and she'd cared about Quinn long before that. She couldn't imagine going through the things that Quinn had been through, she could still see that there was a lot hidden behind those hazel eyes and wondered if Quinn was finally ready to let her in. Before that though she had to meet Finn for coffee. She wasn't looking forward to it. She didn't hate him, in fact she was still very fond of him, he'd been an important relationship in her past, but in her past was where she wanted to leave it.<p>

"Rachel." Finn stood and greeted her as she walked into the Lima Bean, she wasn't surprised to see that it hadn't changed at all. "I'm glad you came. I've really missed you."

"Since lunch?" she quipped.

"You know, we were good together. I just..." Finn shrugged, a little deflated at Rachel's clipped answer.

"I think, maybe, we could be friends." Rachel had nothing else to offer him and wanted to make it very clear.

"Are you seeing anyone? I mean I read in the paper..."

"I'm single, don't believe the press, but I'm not available either."

"Right." Finn was confused, Rachel could see that, but then when wasn't he?

"Finn, we were high school. It was good, but that was a long time ago."

"So you aren't high school anymore? Well, neither am I. I have a business, its in my name, I earn a good income. I have a future and prospects and all those things a girl wants..."

Rachel looked at him and for the first time she really saw him, he was older. Lines were appearing around his eyes, he'd put on a few pounds, but she wasn't about appearance, she loved the boy that he was all those years ago, the trouble was he was still that boy and she wasn't that girl, not anymore, not since she left Lima. She decided to be as brutal as possible. Get it done quickly and he'd be okay.

"I don't love you, I can't go back there. I've changed." She said succinctly.

But Finn didn't give in that easily. "People don't change that much and I'm here Rach, when you figure it out, I'll be waiting. I know I'm not like the guys you must meet and I guess Lima is small fry for you now, but I still, you know, love you. I never stopped."

Rachel reached out and placed a hand on Finn's arm.

"Thank you Finn, It's sweet, but I can't string you along. There isn't anything for you to hope for. There's someone. I love someone i think, and you and I, well it's not that it wasn't special, its just I'm not that Rachel anymore."

Finn just nodded sadly, finally conceding to the fact that Rachel wasn't into him anymore. He didn't have much fight left in him, Lima was his life. Rachel wasn't. "um...I'm pleased I guess, you deserve someone special, I hope this guy loves you half as much as I do."

"I'll..uh...let you know." She didn't know what else she could say, because she had no idea herself.

"So, you are doing really well? You know the Tony and stuff, thats pretty good right?"

"Yep, pretty good, I'm still in awe of it to be honest and I might be having a change of scene soon."

"Sounds awesome." He wasn't paying much attention now that she'd rejected his advances, his eyes roamed the room as he spoke and she kind of zoned out and talked about all the usual things. Her cell rang and she eagerly answered.

"I'll be with you shortly." She hung up and looked back to Finn. "Sorry got to go, work." She rolled her eyes at the thought of it, glad that Finn didn't pick up that she was lying.

"You still coming tonight?"

"I am, see you later Finn." Rachel felt bad that he hadn't moved on, but then she also knew she was guilty of that herself.

xxx

Lima hadn't changed much, she recognized some faces and she knew people recognized her too, she noticed them point and couldn't miss the whispers, but she was glad to be left alone. She was now the famous local girl and it was the least she expected. The other famous local was waiting in a secluded booth in Breadstix. Her smile alone was doing things to Rachel that she really wasn't prepared for.

"Hi." She said breathily. In front of Quinn she still felt like a schoolgirl, no matter now that she had won awards for her acting. This was Quinn Fabray and one look made Rachel forget everything she had become.

"You look amazing." Quinn stood and waited for Rachel to sit before taking her own seat again. "I can't believe it's been five years." Quinn's look was far off and dreamy.

"Did you miss Lima?" Rachel asked and felt foolish as soon as the words fell from her mouth, Quinn looked at her quizzically.

"Not Lima, but some of the things from here, yes."

Rachel blushed, she couldn't help it, Quinn's eyes were everywhere and she was beginning to feel hot.

"I heard about your Dad, I was going to come and find you, I had a ticket and..."

"You were going to fly to LA?"

"Um, yeah, well Puck gave me your address and...Well, I'd hoped to see you and when you didn't show last night, I asked around and then I heard what had happened, I don't know maybe I'm a little crazy, I just felt like maybe you needed me and I needed to be there for you...or something."

"I came back to see you." Quinn's eyes locked with Rachel's.

"You did?" Rachel waited for Quinn to respond, her statement had been surprising and now as she watched the blonde she could see she was struggling with what to say next. So she just waited, knowing never to rush Quinn.

xxx

Quinn hesitated for a moment, this was why she had flown here after all, she came to see Rachel, in hope of seeing Rachel anyway.

"I missed you." It was Quinn's turn to blush. She couldn't not be honest. Five years had been a long time and Rachel Berry had crept into her thoughts all too often in that time. She felt relief when Rachel smiled at her, she felt warmth when Rachel's hand was placed on top of hers and she felt butterflies explode when she looked back into the eyes that had been haunting her dreams.

"I missed you too." Rachel's words, made Quinn close her eyes, she let them wash over her. She knew she shouldn't read too much into it, but it was all she needed right now. She had been so lonely for too long. She knew Rachel would at least understand that side of being famous. The longing it left, the fear of getting too close to someone in case they turned out to be a jerk and sold a story on you.

"I don't know where to start."

"I want to know everything, tell me why L.A? Why acting? I've seen you, you're really talented."

"Thank you. I love what I do. I get to be someone other than me and it feels good. What I was, the person you knew, that's not me now." Quinn shook her head at the thought of it all. "I can never apologize enough, I wish I'd said something before you left, but I was just being a bitch because I was upset you were going."

"You were?" Rachel said confusedly, she remembered the end of their senior year, she'd formed a friendship of sorts with Quinn, they celebrated together after the win at Nationals she'd even hugged the blonde, she'd never forgotten it, but then Quinn went quiet, she barely heard from her and that was half the reason Rachel hadn't come back in the last five years.

"I had a lot going on, I just, well I regret it all now. I think we could have been close. I hope we can be now? I know you know what it's like, everyone thinks they know me. I feel surrounded by people, yet so alone." Her voice cracked a little.

"I offered you my friendship Quinn, I never withdrew the offer." Rachel's smile filled her face and it made Quinn's heart burst.

"Thank you Rach."

"Is there no one in L.A?"

"I have friends, people I work with. They all know the part I play now, I guess I just miss home, the others don't get it, they don't know how it feels to have someone take a picture of you when you are just getting groceries. The endless speculation about who you date, the constant analysis of the clothes you wear, or people picking at what weight you are. Sometimes I just feel like I can't win. I love acting, I love being apart of the world and I am truly thankful for it, but the add-ons kinda suck."

Rachel laughed heartily. "They really do! I'm 'dating' my co-star Darren or so I read last week, the fact that he is as gay as Kurt will forever be kept a secret."

"They ask me to 'date' my co-stars too. It's crazy, a photo op here or there. I never answer the questions, but just do the minimum my contract allows, so um yeah you may see that I get gas a lot."

"I get coffee." Rachel nodded in understanding. "It tends to keep them happy. I don't drive in New York so gas isn't an option, the roads are too crazy and um, well my driving was never that good anyway. Do you remember the time I nearly knocked over Mrs McGranger?"

Quinn laughed at the memory, Rachel really was a horrendous driver.

"How is New York? You must be so happy to be there."

"I love it Quinn, it's just so amazing and really feels like home. I don't know if I could ever say that about Lima again."

"No, I get that. I'm glad I came back though, its nice to see everyone, to remember."

"It must be hard for you, I mean with all those memories..."

"Well, some I'd rather not think about, I've done well to keep that story about my Dad quiet so far." Quinn fiddled with her napkin, unable to look at Rachel.

"Puck told me. So he just died?"

"In a way, it was...I don't miss him, but I don't really want to talk about it now. Maybe when we have more time together?"

"Sure." Rachel nodded and turned the conversation back to their new lives. Mostly happy that Quinn had implied they would have more time together. "I just got a script."

"For a movie?"

"Yeah, its shooting in L.A. So maybe if I got it, we'd perhaps see more of each other?"

"You can count on it, Hollywood won't be able to reign us in." Quinn's face lit up at the thought of Rachel being in the same city.

"Um, well I'm not really a wild party girl..." Rachel's eyes were wide, she had led a quiet life in New York, mostly because her time had been filled with work.

Quinn saw the panic and reached out an arm, taking Rachel's hand in hers, gently caressing it for a moment before looking back to Rachel.

"I'm thinking we could maybe do some karaoke bars? Maybe that is more your thing?" she was relieved when Rachel nodded with a shy smile. "I don't really go out much, you can't, everyone wants a piece of you. Perhaps I could take you for a walk by the ocean? It's truly beautiful, I'd love to get to know you again, I know we've both changed, but I'd like to see what this is."

Rachel gulped and then nodded, she hoped it was possible that they could be something, that maybe Quinn wanted to find that out too, but her heart had sped up so much at Quinn's gentle touch that she hadn't really been able to absorb the words.

They were broken from their moment by a pot of coffee appearing between them. The waitress topped up their cups and Rachel found some composure.

"Where are you staying? I mean, well Puck said your Mom moved on and with your past and um..."

"I'm at the motel."

"Oh no." Rachel practically jumped out of her seat. "That is unacceptable, you can collect your bags and come back to mine, my Dads will be more than happy to have you."

"More than happy?" Quinn arched her eyebrow and Rachel was suddenly back at high school, she wasn't scared though, she never really had been instead she grinned back.

"More than." She assured.

"That's very kind of you, but really its too much to ask."

"I absolutely insist and I think you know me well enough to know that resistance is futile."

"Then I absolutely would love to stay. Do we share a bed?" Quinn smirked as Rachel blushed.

"I'm not that easy Quinn Fabray, I'd expect a date or two first."

"Hmm well I'll have to work on that I guess."

xxx

Rachel eyes were locked onto the coffee cup in front of her she felt sure she was about to die, was Quinn actually flirting with her? She couldn't be certain, when she looked up she found Quinn was busy with her phone and wondered if she had imagined the whole exchange.

"Important?" she interjected, slightly frustrated that Quinn was distracted.

"Yes, sorry. Work! It never stops, but I can't really complain about that. I have some promo work to do next week, so I have to leave tomorrow afternoon and I'm just being reminded." Quinn put her cell back in her purse and returned her attention to Rachel.

"Me too, I have a flight at 2pm. I've an early call on Monday for a breakfast show. _Apparently_ postponing until Tuesday because I have an important personal commitment is not a valid reason."

"I don't leave until 4pm but maybe we could get a cab to the airport together? I mean it'd be weird if I just sat around your house with your Dads until my car arrived."

Rachel liked this new Quinn, she was confident, funny, extremely sexy. Yes, Rachel couldn't wait to share a few drinks with her at the party tonight, she really wanted to know more.

"You're sorta cute." She said absentmindedly as she stared at the blonde opposite.

"Only sorta?" Quinn winked in return and Rachel was beginning to feel very warm and fuzzy again. She rose from her seat and picked up her purse and coat.

"We should go get your things and head back to mine. It takes me forever to get ready for a night out..." she turned and walked to the door, hoping that Quinn wouldn't see how much she was blushing. It all felt a little surreal, but Rachel was almost certain that Quinn liked her, she just wanted to be sure she liked the new Rachel Berry and not a high school memory.

xxx

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Back to Rachel's and then another night out with the glee kids up next.**

**I think I may promote this story to my main focus. I have a lot of ideas. This reunion is only their beginning...**

**Thoughts? Comments? Reviews?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Just want to say a massive thank you for all those reviews, alerts and favourites. I have been writing solidly every free minute I have, so not found time for individual replies. Anyone that is new to my stories, I tend to update once or, if I'm feeling inspired, twice a week.**

**Mistakes are mine, Glee is not.**

* * *

><p>xxx<p>

"I have my Dads car outside." Rachel turned back to see Quinn struggling with a suitcase, her heated cheeks soon forgotten as she watched the blonde.

"Really? Didn't you just tell me what a bad driver you are?"

"Didn't you just tell me you were staying at the motel?" Rachel eyed the bag Quinn was now dragging along behind her and couldn't miss the sheepish look on the other woman's face.

"I may have lied, I haven't even tried to find somewhere to stay, I was just going to crash somewhere later, but then you asked and I felt a little embarrassed."

"I'm actually relieved that you lied, really Hollywood stars don't stay in Motel's Quinn, you have to work on your lies."

"You'd think I'd have mastered them by now."

"Why? What lies do you tell?"

"Ya know, the usual." Quinn tilted her head to one side as if that was enough of an explanation.

"Well, you certainly do_ vague_ well."

"Thanks, but really you want to know something I'll try not to lie."

"Do you like girls?"

"I love girls."

Rachel stomped her foot in a show of mild frustration. "You know what I mean."

"You can't tell my agent." Quinn whispered and leaned into Rachel.

"I promise." Rachel whispered back conspiratorially.

"Then yes I do know what you mean and yes I like girls, well one girl. I'm hoping she might like me too, but I guess I'll have to take her on a couple of dates to find out?"

Rachel bit on her lip as she grinned at Quinn. She didn't say a word on the drive back to her Dads, partly because she was thinking about what Quinn had said and partly because she really was a terrible driver and had to concentrate very hard, she didn't want to crash the car and scare Quinn off before she'd even asked her on one of those dates.

xxx

As they made their way to the Berry's front door Quinn hovered just behind Rachel, she'd been here before, to this house, but today was different. It didn't matter how old she was, the idea of meeting someones parents for the first time, friend or...more, still made her nervous and right now Quinn wasn't sure what her and Rachel were to each other, but she had a feeling that Rachel's Dads would see through them both and know everything they didn't, parents could be really annoying that way.

Her worries were soon forgotten, Rachel's Dads were warm and welcoming, she didn't feel like she was on the outside at all, but she could immediately see that they were mostly concerned with being around Rachel. The walls were adorned with photos of all Rachel's achievements, her Dads had flown to New York a lot from what Quinn could see, but she knew Rachel hadn't been back to Lima and it was clearly an issue for both her Dads, they spent most of their time trying to cover that up, so Quinn's unexpected arrival was nothing more than a distraction and a small blessing. To the Berry's she was just an old school friend and it was nice to feel like that for once, for a long time now she'd been surrounded by people that wanted something from her, here she got to hide in Rachel's shadow.

Quinn zoned out as the Berry's fell back into their old family ways. She was happy to just sit and listen and mostly watch Rachel.

She had always been captivated by the girl, in glee she'd often get lost in the songs Rachel sang, she missed that so much that she had found herself eagerly waiting for Rachel to make it and get onto the Broadway stage. There wasn't a question about whether she should go or not, the day she knew Rachel was cast she planned her trip, she couldn't miss an opening night. The first time she saw Rachel her heart skipped a beat, the same thing happened with each night she attended one of Rachel's performances, yet she never hung around, instead she'd leave at the curtain call and rush to see Beth in Boston, she always packaged up her visits that way. It allowed her to indulge in her secret love of Rachel Berry, the Broadway star, without having any questions to answer from the people that claimed to be close to her.

xxx

She must have been deep in thought because she was suddenly aware of a hand frantically waving in front of her face.

"Quinn? You there?"

"Sorry. Jet lag I guess."

"Oh, you should take a nap, come on I'll show you to the guest room." Rachel took her hand and led her towards the stairs.

"Guest room." Quinn repeated under her breath.

The next thing she knew the door was being knocked and she slowly woke up to see Rachel peeking her head in.

"Hey sleepy, you ready to get up?"

"Mmmhmm" Quinn mumbled and pulled the covers over her head. She felt the bed dip as Rachel climbed on next to her, pulling back the covers.

"Come on. We have to be there in two hours."

"Two hours? Oh god, does it really take you that long to get ready?"

Rachel blushed. "Um, actually I started an hour ago, I was trying to give you a little more rest."

Quinn just smiled. "But you're beautiful." And Rachel's blush grew.

An hour later and Quinn was in the kitchen with Leroy, they were both happily discussing Rachel's career, Leroy was questioning if he had competition for the role of Rachel's biggest fan when Rachel walked in the room.

"Oh Daddy, you think Quinn's as enamored with me as you?"

"I think she'd give me a run for my money. You look stunning." Leroy kissed his daughter. "Don't you think Quinn?" Leroy added, he and Rachel both turned to Quinn. She blushed when she realised she'd been caught practically ogling Rachel.

"I...uh...yes...she is, Rachel you look beautiful, really beautiful." Quinn breathily complimented the woman in front of her, Rachel was wearing the black gown she'd worn to the Tony's and Quinn was so pleased she got to see it up close, Rachel looked hot on T.V. but she was so much more in real life.

"Why thank you Quinn." Rachel did a little twirl before she took in the form fitting red dress that Quinn was wearing, she couldn't help but rake her eyes over her body, age definitely made Quinn sexier. Rachel was struggling to reign in her emotions and now desire was threatening to consume her.

Quinn for her part was still lost in Rachel, the same as always. She'd always secretly admired her, Rachel had been talented, but more than that, she had believed in herself. At High School she had always tried to be true to herself, she couldn't bend to fit in to the moulds that the school and society set, she got shoved into the loser category, just like every other person that dared to be different or those that already knew who they were and didn't have to wait until their twenties or beyond to figure it out.

Quinn had been the opposite and she still regretted it, she had been so desperate to fit in, she knew the only way to make that work was to be at the top. Until she joined glee it had all made sense, but then Rachel Berry changed things. Rachel made her realize that there was something else, something more. It was because of Rachel that she had the courage to get out off of Lima, her Dad beating her Mom had been the last push, she didn't want that life, she wanted her own and had to take a chance.

L.A. had been tough, the first year she barely made ends meet, but she was pretty and it helped. She got good tips as she waited tables and had a lot of call backs. _The __Empire_ had been a fledgling show when she got a guest role. She got to play the evil and cunning daughter of one of the leads and her character was somehow more popular than hated. Typical, Quinn thought, that she'd work out how not to be such a bitch and then end up playing one. Somehow she managed to soften the character and it seemed to work for the fans. She loved acting, she loved that she'd taken a chance and at the end of the day she always felt that she had Rachel Berry to thank for that.

As she sat in the back of the car thinking of the last few years of her life, she realized how happy it made her feel that she could turn and look at the woman that had plagued her thoughts in that time. Rachel noticed Quinn watching her and smiled shyly. Quinn reached out a hand and took hold of Rachel's, entwining their fingers and reveling in the feel of the smaller woman's skin against her own. They stayed like that until they reached their destination, a light squeeze from Rachel and Quinn knew it was time to release her hold, she missed the touch instantly. By the time she'd climbed out of the car Rachel was at her side and that small hand she missed was now back in hers.

Before she knew it they were separated again, Rachel was dragged away by Kurt and they were in the middle of a rendition of Happy days/Get happy already. Quinn watched on with a smile on her face, she'd really missed hearing Rachel sing like that. Broadway was a job and Rachel played a part, she was always amazing but, right now, this was Rachel Berry giving a performance as herself and Quinn loved it, just as she always did in High School.

"I'm going to take a wild guess and say you have still got it bad for Berry?" Santana bumped shoulders with Quinn as she joined her in watching their old classmates perform.

"Good to see you too, Santana." Quinn pulled the Latina into a tight hug. "It's been too long. How's Britt?"

"Sad she couldn't make it, work and touring and all those things. Don't think I didn't notice you avoided my question."

"I'm good at that, try another one."

"Answer or not, I can see it. Rachel's hot and I think she's hot for you."

"I'm not looking for a reunion hookup." Quinn turned and walked to the bar.

"No, you are looking for a whole lot more." Santana spoke to her retreating back.

Quinn heard her and smiled. Santana was right, but she wasn't going to let her be the first to know. This weekend was a reunion and a chance to reconnect with Rachel. She wasn't going to ruin it by pushing too hard too fast. She'd waited five years and taking her time wasn't going to be a problem, no matter how hot Rachel looked tonight. That was the plan at least, but then Puck handed her a tequila shot and then another and the next she knew she was growling from the sidelines as she watched Finn Hudson dancing with Rachel. It was nothing, she tried to let it go, but her hands were balled into fists and the memories of senior year came flooding back. Finn and Rachel, always Finn and Rachel.

It was the first time Quinn realized her feelings for Rachel were something more than dislike. They argued and fought for so long it came naturally, but then Finn and Rachel got together and they looked so happy. That was when she figured out her anger had nothing to do with Finn, but she didn't want to admit it even to herself. It all came to a head near graduation, she walked in on Rachel and Finn at one of Puck's parties, they weren't doing much, just kissing and some groping but she'd almost died on the spot. It had felt like a bus had ran into her, the force of seeing them like that just broke her and she barely managed to speak to Rachel again before she left for New york. Things had changed a lot since that day.

She couldn't say or do anything back then because she didn't even know what it was, but five years later and she knew only too well. Rachel Berry was the one that she wanted. It took her three failed relationships to figure it out. The first was the guy she first roomed with in L.A. Gerry was sweet and took her out, which was nice because she could barely afford to eat, but it didn't last. Then she met Anna and her whole world changed. It wasn't so much a relationship as just a few stolen kisses, but Quinn felt more alive in those brief kisses than she ever did before, so when Anna and Gerry got engaged she knew she had to get out and fast. Another year passed before she fell for Kristen. They met on the set of a mini series and Quinn just couldn't keep her eyes off her. It was six months before she admitted to herself why.

Kristen shared a lot of characteristics with Rachel, but it took her another six months to accept that she'd rather be with Rachel and decided she had to move on, she broke Kristen's heart because all that filled hers was questions about her past and what might have been. Her publicist discovered the relationship after Kristen appeared unexpectedly and refused to keep quiet despite Quinn's repeated requests. The following week and she was on staged dates, rolling her eyes as she had a man show her just how to use the gas pump, but it was work and she could live with it. If she wanted to make it, she needed to be what they told her to be, or so they all kept telling her. She'd argued at first but quickly discovered it was easier to do what they asked. She had dated a couple of people since then and managed to keep it discreet, but nothing came of it, she was always left wondering what could have been with Rachel.

Two years of playing this game and she had made it, well almost, and now here she was feeling like a high school kid again, watching the girl that she liked, dancing with the boy that always got in the way.

Finn's hands began to move from Rachel's waist towards her ass and Quinn was across the dance floor like a shot, she wasn't standing by and watching this again. Rachel saw her and pulled away from Finn, smiling she reached out a hand and with a light touch all Quinn's anger dissolved and was replaced with want. She took Rachel's hand and pulled her close, their bodies flush against each other as the music filled her ears. Finn was soon forgotten as Quinn ran her fingers along the exposed flesh at the sides of Rachel's dress.

"I thought you were just going to stand over there and watch." Rachel shouted above the music.

"I was, but I couldn't leave you at the mercy of Finn's dance moves." She had both hands on Rachel's hips and pulled her impossibly close, before turning Rachel in her arms so that she was now dancing behind her. Their bodies still pressed together as they moved to the music.

"Good." Rachel gasped at the change of position, leaning her body back into Quinn and tilting her head back so that it was resting on Quinn's shoulder. "I was worried you were trying to kill him with those evil looks."

"I was." She moved her hips against Rachel's and brushed her lips lightly against her ear lobe.

"Quinn?" Rachel could almost hear her own heartbeat above the music.

"I like you." Quinn whispered into Rachel's ear, the song finished and the music died as Artie took hold of the microphone. He was in the middle of his speech before Rachel moved. She turned and looked back at Quinn and that was when Quinn knew she had more than just a chance.

"I like you too." Rachel placed a chaste kiss to the corner of Quinn's mouth just as Artie called out her name, Rachel was soon being invited onto the stage. Quinn watched as she went, a grin firmly planted on her face as the brunette turned back and sent her a shy smile.

xxx

Rachel shook as she made her way to the stage, it was normally the thing that made her feel most alive, but in that moment all she could think of was the way Quinn had held her and touched her, followed by those three words. Her heart had almost landed in her mouth, she was still flustered but somehow she got there and she sang with Artie and then she was swept away by Sam. She could feel Quinn's eyes on her the whole time and whenever she sought her out she wasn't disappointed. The look in Quinn's eye made her feel more wanted than she had ever felt in her life.

Sam had hold of her waist as they danced slowly to the music. "I got a DVD of your performance, I know it's not the same as Quinn coming to see it live, but I don't really have much. Anyway you were amazing, still so amazing."

"Thanks Sam, that's really sweet of you."

"We all missed you, you should really come home more often."

"I probably should." Rachel had no idea when she'd be back next, Lima hadn't been her world for so long. Now she had a feeling L.A. was going to become her second home after New York, but she didn't want to chance that, instead she pretended to listen as Sam and then Mercedes, followed by Tina and Mike praised her achievements before filling her in on their lives, all the while she watched Quinn from across the room, she was fixated on her figure, the way the dress clung to each and every curve and she couldn't help but lick her lips.

"You're drooling Berry." Santana whispered so that the others didn't hear.

"I'm just, um..." Rachel stepped away from the crowd and Santana followed her.

"Busy checking out the hotness that is Quinn Fabray? She's looking fine. I don't blame you."

"She has always been pretty."

"Yes, but now she has a couple of dollops of sexy to add on top of her high school yumminess."

"Santana!"

"I'm a married woman! But I can still give a fair assessment on Fabray's hotness. You should ask her out."

"It's a weekend, one weekend and then the real world takes over again."

"It's a chance and an opportunity. Don't let it pass you by."

Santana left Rachel to think on her words and think is what Rachel did, until a shot of tequila ended up in her hand and the group all got together. Quinn sidled in next to her and Rachel ached to lean against her, so she did and was rewarded with an arm being wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her in closer.

"Having fun?" Quinn asked before necking her shot.

"Ugh." Rachel almost gagged on hers. "great fun."

"I thought you weren't a party girl?"

"I know how to have fun." Rachel smirked at the blonde.

"I'm counting on it." Quinn returned the smirk and Rachel felt as if her body was on fire. "but maybe we should get you home?" the blonde quirked an eyebrow as Rachel wobbled.

Rachel nodded, the alcohol and the long day were taking their toll suddenly.

xxx

As they sat in the car on the way back to Rachel's, Quinn had to resist every urge in her body that wanted to jump the brunette sat next to her, she desperately wanted to claim those sweet plump lips and kiss Rachel, but instead she stared out of the window and watched as Lima passed by. She felt a finger light brush against her hand and turned to see Rachel watching her.

"Perhaps we need to talk." Rachel spoke softly but her nerves were evident.

"I think so." Quinn sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. Yes, she wanted to jump Rachel, but she wanted so much more than that and after five years she wasn't going to mess it up on drunken impulses.

"I'm a bit drunk though."

"A bit?" Quinn chuckled. Rachel just brushed her off with a look.

"So how about brunch tomorrow, before our flights?" The mention of their flights knocked Quinn, she didn't want the reality of their departure. For a mad moment she wanted to stay in Lima forever, but Lima was her past and she couldn't stay.

She nodded her agreement as the car came to a stop. Quickly climbing out and helping Rachel out of her door, before taking her hand and walking towards the house.

They hovered by the guest room door for a moment before Rachel placed her hands on Quinn's shoulders, raising onto her tiptoes and leaving another chaste kiss at the corner of Quinn's mouth, Rachel said goodnight and Quinn watched as she headed down the corridor to her own room, she turned and closed the door behind her with a groan, being close to Rachel was amazing but torture at the same time.

xxx

It was about 10 minutes later that she heard a crash and found herself running towards Rachel's room.

"Rach? You alright?"

When she got no response she opened the door and walked in to find Rachel sprawled out on the floor.

"I was trying to get the zipper and then..." Rachel burst into a fit of giggles on her bedroom floor and Quinn couldn't help but join her.

"Get up." Quinn said as she regained her composure, she pulled the girl to her feet, before turning her and unzipping her dress. Pausing for a moment as her hand reached the small of Rachel's back and gently running her fingertips along the soft skin.

"Stay." Rachel whispered.

"I thought you said..."

"Just for tonight. As friends or something? just to sleep, I, well I want to spend as much time with you as I can."

"Okay." Quinn couldn't argue, she didn't want to, she felt the same. Her heart ached at the thought of being separated again so soon.

Rachel stepped out of her dress and Quinn couldn't help but stare, the woman had an amazing body, but it was soon covered by a vest and the shortest shorts Quinn could ever hope for. She'd already changed before Rachel fell, so just climbed into bed next to her.

"So I said not until a couple of dates..." Rachel spoke into the darkened room.

"Yet here we are. I knew you couldn't resist me."

"Oh I can...well almost." her voice faded. "Maybe tonight you could hold me?"

Quinn moved closer to Rachel, wrapping her arm around her waist. "I like this." She whispered against Rachel's ear lobe, letting her lips gently brush against the skin, before taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, she felt Rachel shift back into her and sighed. Sleep soon took hold of them both.

xxx

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Next up is the morning after, Family brunch and some talking needs to be done about what they do once the Lima trip ends.**

**Thoughts? Comments? Reviews?**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So I managed to reply to some of you, but then I got all confused about who. I really suck at that, so I'll say a thanks on here again as it is a lot easier. Really appreciate you taking the time to write a comment, it helps make writing the story worth it.**

* * *

><p>xxx<p>

A sharp bang at the door made Rachel sit up suddenly. It took her a moment to realize she wasn't in New York and that it probably wasn't a gun shot that she'd heard. It took her another moment before she realized she wasn't alone. A hand was attached to her stomach, the hand then began drawing circles and it made Rachel gasp.

"Come back here." Quinn pulled Rachel back onto the bed. "It's cold without you in my arms."

"You always this romantic in the morning?" Rachel teased as she willingly snuggled back into Quinn.

"Rachel, I think it's obvious we like each other."

"I guess."

"You guess? Well, I'm not letting go until you admit you have feelings for me."

"Then maybe I'll have to stay quiet."

"Mmm, I could live with that." Quinn let her hand run up and down Rachel's ribs, drawing patterns before playfully pulling at the hemline of her vest.

The knock that woke Rachel was repeated.

"Come on Rachel," she heard her Dad call in frustration from outside the door. "we have reservations."

"Sorry." Rachel ignored him and looked at Quinn. "This weekend is just too crammed, I want to continue talking and um hugging too."

"Hugging in bed is good, weren't we going to get food this morning?"

"I totally forgot my Dads had this set up, we used to do it all the time when I lived here, but...well I rarely see them."

"No, its fine. I'll go and see Santana or something." Quinn shrugged.

"No, you'll come with me. If you want, I mean. I'd like you too. It'd be nice and my Dads just want to be in the same room as me, they don't really want to talk to me. It'll be the set three questions about Broadway, living arrangements and love life. Then they will quickly go back to talking amongst themselves."

"Sounds like you need me there to save you."

"I do."

"Then I am all yours." Quinn bit her bottom lip and Rachel couldn't help but stare.

Another knock.

"Argh, fine we'll be ready in 20 minutes." She screamed towards the door. "Doesn't matter how old you are, return to your parents home and you get treated like a teenager!" she grumbled as she climbed out of bed.

"And end up acting like one too." Quinn added.

"I'll have you know I didn't sneak people into my room when I was teenager."

Quinn just grinned before heading back to the guest room and taking a quick shower.

xxx

They didn't even get a chance to breathe, as soon as they were at the bottom of the stairs they were whisked out of the door by Leroy and Hiram. Quinn took some pleasure in the fact that they at least got to share the back seat, she wanted to hold Rachel's hand but Hiram kept turning around and interrupting their conversation, she wasn't sure what he'd think of them holding hands, she wasn't sure what she thought about it either, they were at least both open to the idea of starting something, but she really needed to know what Rachel thought. Cuddles and kisses were nice, but things would change as soon as they left Lima and it wouldn't be easy to make it work.

Leroy had them at the diner in record time and Quinn could see why they had been rushed, the place was packed with the after church crowd, she thought she recognized a few faces, but they had quickly looked away, just like they had when she got pregnant. That was another time and a past she definitely _did_ want to forget.

Rachel must have noticed because she felt her hand rest gently on her back, bringing her back to the world and out of her head.

"Hey." Quinn sighed, her eyes meeting Rachel's.

"Old friends?" Rachel nodded to the group that Quinn had been observing.

"No, old judges. My Dads friends. Cold people."

"Well, you have me now." Rachel smiled reassuringly and her hand moved around Quinn's waist pulling her into a side hug.

"Thank you." Quinn returned the hug as they made their way to the table. Rachel had been right, her Dads asked all the expected questions, but Quinn found herself more than interested in the answers.

"And Broadway is going well?" Leroy asked as he scanned the menu.

Quinn bit her lip to stop herself laughing when Rachel rolled her eyes.

"I have a Tony, I think I'm doing okay."

Quinn felt a little relieved that both Hiram and Leroy laughed at that, she wasn't sure, but she thought they were all hiding some tension, but perhaps it was just the fact that, with time, even the closest families grew apart and distance was an obvious factor in that.

"And you got a new apartment?"

"I did."

"I...we look forward to being invited to see it."

"You are always welcome Daddy, always, I'm not going to send out invitations, but really you must come and stay. I'm just so busy at weekends, maybe you could come for thanksgiving?"

"Really?" There it was, Quinn saw the look on Hiram's face. It was as if Rachel had finally opened a door and let him back in.

"I'd love it, really Daddy, Dad. Quinn maybe you'd like to come too?"

"Oh, I..." Quinn hadn't expected that, she was quite happy to watch the reunification of the Berry's and now she was being asked along. If Hiram or Leroy minded they didn't show it, in fact she felt Hiram's hand grip her arm.

"Do you think you could? It would be so nice to all be there for Rachel, we know you mean a lot to her."

"You do?" Quinn and Rachel responded in unison. The only response they got was laughter from the men opposite.

Rachel turned back to Quinn "See you have to come, you have to save me from these two. I understand if you have plans though, I'll find a way to cope on my own." Rachel pouted at the possibility of Quinn not coming and it was so cute that Quinn found herself staring at the jutted out bottom lip a little longer than necessary, wetting her own lips as her mind wandered.

"No plans. We don't really...well I don't see my Mom or Fran so much. I'd have probably just hung with some friends or something, so yes I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'd love to come."

Rachel's smile made Quinn suck in a deep breath. She still had no idea where they were headed and how it'd all work out, but one thing was certain, they'd never go five years without seeing each other again, she wouldn't be able to survive.

xxx

"And are you seeing anyone?" Leroy inquired over coffee.

This Quinn wanted to hear. Rachel even turned to look at her and Quinn was left trying to catch her breath again when she felt a hand rest on her thigh, but a gentle squeeze and another smile from Rachel helped her to recover.

"I like someone. I think they like me, but it's very new and I'll have to let you know."

"Do you think it might lead somewhere?" Quinn found herself asking, not concerned at the look Hiram gave her.

"I think it could, I hope so anyway, but we have some issues to get past first."

"Issues, right." Quinn nodded.

"Maybe he'll be joining us for thanksgiving?" Leroy broke the girls from their stare off.

Rachel shook her head but the grin didn't shift, Quinn was busy chewing on her bottom lip, trying to suppress her own smile.

"I think we'll have to wait and see." Hiram said with a wink to both girls.

Quinn grinned back at him, she was almost relieved that he'd guessed, even if Leroy was oblivious.

xxx

They made it back to Rachel's and Quinn readied her bags before joining Rachel in her room.

"You ready to go say goodbye? I booked a taxi to collect us from Finn's, if we take our bags we can head straight to the airport after."

"Sounds perfect. Its also the only way to stop my Dads from joining us, because I really don't want to share our goodbye with them."

"Our goodbye." Quinn couldn't hide the sadness in her voice, within a second she felt Rachel's hands on her waist, slowly wrapping around her and pulling her into a hug, she melted into the touch. Her nose buried in Rachel's hair, trying to commit the smell to memory, she felt so close to what she wanted, yet knew it was still a long way away.

"I still want to see you."

"I'd like that."

"And we have thanksgiving."

"We do, but Rach its not that simple. I can't just be with you, not how I want."

"I don't understand." Rachel felt like she was about to be pushed away again and it hurt.

"I, my agents. I agreed to some things and it means that it's complicated, we'd have to be quiet."

"Oh thank god, I thought you were going to say this was it."

"This is so not it. I couldn't live with myself if I gave up on something that feels...well it's something else."

"I feel it, whatever it is between us and I've wanted to explore it for as long as...well a long time. Maybe if I get that movie and come to Los Angeles."

"I hope you get it. So how do we leave this?"

"We don't leave it, we build on this friendship, we stay in touch, you come to thanksgiving, we go from there. Can you live with that? I don't...well I can't offer more right now."

"No, I'm more than fine with that, it's more than I'd hoped for when I booked the ticket to Lima." Quinn pulled Rachel back into a tight hug, placing a soft kiss to her temple. "I feel happy. I don't say that often."

Rachel exhaled deeply. "I know exactly what you mean." She pulled back until she was looking up into Quinn's eyes. "You give really good hugs." She said in wonderment.

"That's just a taste of the really good things I can do."

Rachel gulped and Quinn laughed. "You are making my 'a few dates' rule hard to follow."

"Just how many dates are we talking Rachel? I mean we've already shared a bed..."

"A proper date, at least one. A meal. Something."

"Something?"

"Like I said, you are making it difficult for me to think, let alone follow my rules."

Quinn brushed a loose hair behind Rachel's ear, her eyes flicked to Rachel's lips and back again. "Thinking is overrated."

"So overrated." Rachel said breathily as she leaned in closer to Quinn, her heart was thumping hard against her chest as she closed the short distance between them.

Quinn could feel Rachel's breath on her face and moistened her lips with her tongue. Millimeters separated them and Quinn closed her eyes before finally feeling the softness of Rachel's lips against her own. Their lips glided together in a soft tender kiss. Quinn could feel her knees go weak at the sensation and was relieved that Rachel's grip around her waist tightened and kept her standing. It wasn't chaste nor passionate, more tentative and filled with the prospect of more and, above all else, it felt perfect. Rachel let out a soft moan and as her lips parted Quinn ran her tongue along Rachel's bottom lip, reveling in her first taste of Rachel Berry, as their tongues met and Quinn's entered Rachel's mouth she used her hands to grip Rachel's ass and pull her closer, eliciting a noise from Rachel that made Quinn know she'd have to stop now or she'd never be able to, she pulled away and rested her forehead on Rachel's.

"And I want to do a lot more of that."

"Mmm, a lot." Rachel moved her head to rest on Quinn's shoulder, she wanted Quinn, but she didn't want to take it too fast and she was glad that Quinn appeared to feel the same. In two hours they'd be saying goodbye and as much as the idea of jumping into bed together in that moment appealed to her, she also knew it wouldn't be right. She wanted to get it right with Quinn, it mattered to her, it mattered a lot and she wasn't going to let her physical desires get in the way of that, no matter how much she was tempted.

xxx

She didn't get a chance to think more on that as she heard her name called from downstairs and knew it was time to get going.

This time they did hold hands in the back of the taxi. Quinn kept sending her smiles and Rachel felt like she was about to turn into a puddle of mush.

All mushiness was forgotten when they arrived at Finn's and they were quickly separated. The house hadn't changed since they were at school and she knew he still lived with his Mom and Burt. Kurt and Blaine had clearly helped with the organization and each guest received a gift bag with personalized souvenirs of their glee reunion. Rachel couldn't help but stare at the photo of them all, on stage, the day they won nationals. She hadn't seen this picture before, her eyes were drawn to Quinn, stood to one side, watching Rachel. It made the butterflies return, she scanned the room to find the real thing, but the blonde was busy talking to Sam. So much had happened in the last five years, Rachel shook her head, but the smile didn't leave her face.

A new agreement was made to return in another five years, Rachel wondered what they'd be like then and if she'd actually get to return to Lima with Quinn, rather than just with a vague hope of seeing her again.

xxx

Quinn had mixed feelings as she stood in a room full of familiar faces, she'd been away a long time and it wasn't easy to reconnect, they had all moved on, some more than others. Still, she listened politely to tales of Lima life and she secretly thanked herself for getting out of that town. She'd noticed Puck watching her, he'd been doing the same the night before so finally she gave in and went over to find out what was bothering him, because she knew something was.

"Spit it out." She bumped his shoulder playfully.

"No time for pleasantries?"

"It's not like we haven't spoken in the last five years, what's up? I can tell you want to say something. If this is about Beth again? well I try, I see her whenever I go to New York."

"I miss her, Boston is too far. I wish...well I wish a lot of things, but no its not Beth, It's Rachel."

"Rachel?" Quinn turned to see where the brunette was and smiled as she watched her laughing and joking with Kurt.

"She may have gone all superstar, like you, but she is still as innocent as when we were at high school."

"I highly doubt that, I mean Finn happened and..."

"I meant her heart. Its...you be careful with it. I don't know whats going on and although I like to imagine certain things..."

"Get to the point." Quinn snapped, she didn't want to know about Puck's fantasies.

"She clearly cares about you, always did. I don't want you hurting her."

"I don't plan to."

"Well, thats good then."

"Good." Quinn repeated angrily.

"Still feisty Fabray. Mmm if you weren't so gay for Berry...'

"That ship more than sailed."

"True, but you really are getting better looking with age."

"Thanks." Quinn deadpanned. She really wasn't in the mood for Puck, she just wanted to get back to being with Rachel.

xxx

Santana nudged Rachel in the ribs, she turned to see the Latina had been crying.

"Are you okay?"

"Me? Oh yeah."

"You've been crying?" Rachel wiped the mascara away.

"I'm gonna miss you guys. It's been so much fun. I never thought I'd feel like this." Santana began sobbing again.

"Come here." Rachel pulled her into a hug.

"So you took a chance?" she asked once the tears had stopped flowing.

"I did."

"Don't mess it up, you two have a lot of baggage, just try to work on it and don't give up too easily."

"I'm going to try." Rachel's eyes were firmly locked on Quinn. She saw the blonde arch her head towards the door and knew it was time to go. "and I never give up easily, you should know that by now." She gave Santana a final squeeze.

They all headed outside and said their last goodbyes, before Quinn and Rachel made their way to the airport waving to the old glee club from the rear window as the taxi headed off down the street.

xxx

The airport was busy, Sunday, and everyone seemed to be leaving Ohio. They made their way through security before finding a place for coffee. Quinn sat and watched as Rachel stirred hers absentmindedly.

"It's been fun." Rachel finally broke the silence and Quinn knotted her brow in confusion.

"Fun? I could think of a lot of other words to describe this weekend, but yes I guess fun would fit in there...somewhere."

Rachel looked up and grinned. "I meant coming back here, I didn't know how I'd feel and yes I came with an ulterior motive of sorts, but it was fun seeing everyone and hanging out, singing."

"That bit was fun." Quinn nodded her agreement.

"Seeing you again..." Rachel sucked in a deep breath before slowly letting it go. "Well, that is where all those other words come into it. I'm glad we met up again." Rachel's placed her hand on top of Quinn's and gently rubbed her thumb back and forth.

"It was only a matter of time. I tried to see you last time I was in New York."

"How many times have you been to see one of my shows?"

"Every opening night."

"Really? Wow, you probably are my biggest fan."

"And then a couple more times, the last being six months ago. I was planning, or hoping to see you but you were with someone."

Rachel frowned unable to recall and then it hit her, six months ago she was with Jesse, he was working at a nearby theatre and they'd been spending a lot of time together, but no.

"Oh no." she shook her head vehemently. "No, not me and Jesse. That has so been done, but we are great friends and..."

"You don't have to explain." Quinn was glad she had though, seeing Rachel with Jesse St James had been almost as hard as the night back in High School. She was relieved at Rachel's explanation because she knew Jesse was still in New York and had more access to Rachel then she would being stuck in L.A.

"I'm single Quinn, I have been for about a 3 months."

"Oh, I didn't read anything about it." Quinn was taken aback at that, if not Jesse then who?

"I had a thing with someone, it wasn't big. It wasn't public knowledge, we didn't really get that far. I'm still a little self-absorbed and that doesn't tend to lend itself to relationships. People don't really get me."

"I get you." Quinn whispered as she looked up from her mug of coffee.

"You do, but what if you don't like the new me?"

"I didn't like the old you much." She quipped and then saw the horror on Rachel's face. "Sorry, not a good joke. Ugh Rachel I am so awkward. I like you, I always did. I was stupid not to take up your offer of friendship until senior year. The things I think I missed out on, well anyway...I know what I feel is more than friends, I want to see if we can make something happen, I've tried to move on, but it's always you in the end."

Rachel tried to swallow the lump in her throat, but she struggled and a tear managed to slip free. Within a second she was wrapped in Quinn's arms, the comfort and warmth enveloping her.

"I've known I liked you as something more than a friend since Junior prom." Rachel whispered into Quinn's chest and she felt the blonde squeeze her tighter at the revelation.

"So a good slap works for you?"

"It kinda does." Rachel nodded as she tried to turn her smile upside down.

"Fuck, I wish we didn't have to say goodbye."

"I know, but if we want this, then two thousand odd miles isn't going to stop me. I'm still as determined as I was five years ago."

"I'm counting on it." Quinn grinned.

Rachel desperately wanted to kiss Quinn to within an inch of her life, to hold her until she was dragged away, but she knew she couldn't. They were already causing a small scene and there were people watching them, she could feel it, so instead she backed out of Quinn's embrace and returned to her coffee. Quinn went back to her seat.

"I wanted to kiss you, but I think that girl over there has a camera phone trained on us." Quinn whispered across the table.

"Oh god." Rachel turned to look at who Quinn was talking about, she saw her straight away. "I knew it, I wanted it too, to kiss you I mean."

"Sucks doesn't it?"

"Really, _so_ much."

It wasn't long before Rachel's flight was called, she waited with Quinn until the last possible moment. Her name was being announced over the speaker as she finally said her last goodbyes. She was halfway to the gate when she began to feel the tug in her heart, turning back she saw Quinn watching her and without hesitation she ran back to her, wrapping her arms around her neck and placing a firm kiss to Quinn's lips, grinning as she pulled away.

"She'd have had to have been super quick to snap that."

"I want tongues next time." Quinn replied a smirk firmly in place, Rachel bit her lip and nodded before quickly jogging back to her bags, she sent Quinn a final wave before being scolded by the flight attendant and ushered onto the plane.

xxx

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The road out of Lima may be bumpy. **

**Tell me what you think?**


	5. Chapter 5

Quinn turned the key in the door and walked into the place she now thought of as home. She'd had the best weekend and seeing Rachel was better than she'd expected. They obviously both wanted to find out more about each other, but Quinn was still a little nervous about it all. She wasn't the girl Rachel used to know, life had left her a mess at 18 and she'd spent the last five years trying to find herself all over again, which wasn't easy to do when she took on a career that involve playing so many different characters, but she was getting somewhere.

Going back to Lima was a strain, even if it did give her the chance to reconnect with Rachel. Her mind was haunted by the memories of her old life and visions of her Dad taking his last breath as she watched on in horror. She had done well to erase those images from her mind, but when she got back to Lima they reappeared. Rachel had turned out to be the perfect antidote, she couldn't believe they both felt the same way and they were both willing to find out what it could lead to. She had a second chance with the girl she crushed on at school and she was still smiling about it.

Five minutes after she got in the door and her cell rang, she sighed at the intrusion, but then saw Rachel's name on the screen.

"Hey, isn't it late in New York?"

"Very late and I have a very early start. I just wanted to wish you good night."

"Good night Rachel and good luck tomorrow, I'll try to watch it when I get home."

"45 days and counting."

"Thanksgiving really is too far away."

"Night." Rachel yawned, unable to keep her eyes open any longer.

"Night, Rach."

Quinn unpacked before looking over the gift bag Kurt had given her, she found a spare frame and put the picture of them winning nationals in it, before placing it on her coffee table. It stood out against her other personal items, it was then she realized she didn't have any other old photos out. She had been hiding her past for so long, but now Lima was creeping back into her life and she wasn't really sure how she felt about that just yet.

xxx

Rachel was up three hours later and heading to her breakfast interview, she had a firm grip on a large cup of coffee, but tiredness wasn't going to bring her down, she was still feeling light headed after the reunion weekend. Just a taste of what it was like to be with Quinn had her craving more, but they were over 2000 miles apart and it was nowhere near ideal.

For once she had got something right when it came to Lima, the day that envelope arrived she had tossed it to one side, returning to her old home wasn't high on her to do list. Then she thought of Quinn and the chance to see her again became her only focus. Yes, it had been nice to catch up with everyone else and to see her Dads, but Quinn had always been the driving force in her decision to return.

Her feelings for the blonde had always been confusing and Rachel had only come to the conclusion that they were something more than friendship when, Kerry, one of her cast mates, kissed her. She'd kissed a girl at college and it had just been fun, but Kerry was different and the kiss ignited something in Rachel that she hadn't felt since Quinn had been her antagonist. Kerry had been persistent, she really liked Rachel and Rachel had tried, but it didn't work, her thoughts kept drifting back to Quinn. It became an obvious problem when she missed dates just to watch Quinn on T.V. and Kerry ended it before Rachel broke her heart, or that was what she'd said at the time.

The return to Lima had been an excuse to find out if what she was feeling was real, because Rachel had an idea that the reason her love life had been such a disaster was directly related to Quinn and the moment the blonde walked into the restaurant she knew she'd been right.

When she left Lima she had vowed never to go back. It may have seemed extreme at the time, but she was Rachel Berry after all. Rachel needed to escape, to break free from the things and the people that, at the time, she felt had an unhealthy hold over her. Rachel had cried every night after Quinn stopped talking to her towards the end of their senior year, the friendship they had been building just suddenly seemed to stop. It had crossed her mind over the last few years, but she could never make sense of it. She had thought Quinn's coldness was related to the night Quinn walked in on her and Finn, she'd seen the look on Quinn's face and back then had come to the conclusion that Quinn still wanted Finn. At the same time she finally worked out that she didn't want him, it had been fun, but her feelings had changed. She broke up with him a week later and half expected Quinn to be dating him again before she left Lima, but that never happened and only now did she have an idea as to why.

When Rachel left she didn't look back, because she couldn't, it hurt too much to think about the questions she was too scared to ask, but now five years later she was finally getting the answers her heart needed.

xxx

The car pulled up at the T.V station and she was met by her publicist in the lobby.

"We need to get you into makeup ASAP." Kim ordered when she saw Rachel.

"I thought I looked good." Rachel said in all seriousness, but perhaps the lack of sleep and over indulgence at the weekend were a little noticeable.

"You look like shit."

Rachel grimaced. Kim had a habit of being blunt and she still wasn't quite used to it.

"What time am I on?"

"You have 30 minutes, this lady better be able to work miracles."

Rachel was soon in makeup and being brought back to life. "Did you hear from the director? Am I in?"

"Bad news baby girl, they have decided to go another route."

Rachel felt like the world was crumbling beneath her, the thought of being up for a movie, the chance to go to California and be near Quinn, and now suddenly it was being taken away.

"Why?" she pleaded.

"Just how it is, really don't dwell on it. There will be other films, better ones."

"I want to go to California."

"You do?" Kim stopped fussing with Rachel's outfit and studied her in the mirror. "What happened at this reunion?" her eyes bored into Rachel and it made her shiver.

"I just want to try it, I love Broadway, but I want more."

"Last week you weren't sure about the movie and couldn't think of anything worse than having to leave New York."

"Things change."

"Rachel, you are transparent, but if you don't want to tell me what, or rather who, has you changing your life plans then who am I to argue."

"Don't argue, just get me some scripts."

"I have this one thing, but I really don't think it's a good move for you."

"Did they ask for me?"

"Yes, they are very keen actually, but I said no. I mean its a supporting role and I think you'll find its a bit dull, not really a breakout..."

"Get me the script." Rachel met Kim's eyes in the mirror and Kim nodded.

The interview went well, she talked about her play, how honored she was to get a Tony at such a young age and with such little experience. The usual. As soon as she walked back to the dressing room she had the script in her hand.

3 hours later and she was on the phone to Kim. "I want it."

Rachel knew when she read the first page that it was something special, she ended up hugging the pages when she'd finished reading it.

Kim called her back an hour later. "They want to meet you, do a read through and screen test with the lead. You have to be there first thing Monday morning. I've cleared your schedule and booked you a hotel."

"Thank you, oh god can I do this?"

"You bloody bet you can. Go kick some ass!" Kim screamed down the phone and Rachel laughed loudly, remembering why she liked Kim even though the woman was painfully blunt, she was always honest.

xxx

"I'm coming to see you." Rachel told Quinn on the phone that night.

"You are? When?"

"How's Sunday sound?"

"Are you serious?" Quinn almost dropped her phone as she stood up suddenly.

"Completely. I have a screen test on Monday. I can't miss another weekend performance, otherwise I'd be there sooner."

"When does your run finish?"

"I wrap just before Thanksgiving, then I'm unemployed."

"I thought it was your choice to leave?"

"It is, but you know, now I'm a little worried. The movie I told you about is not going to happen, but I've read a new script today and it's just so amazing. It's just this is the first time I'm leaving something without having somewhere to go."

"You have somewhere to go." Quinn replied and Rachel felt like she was being hugged through the phone.

"I miss you already."

"I know, crazy right?"

"Sunday! God that sounds better than...what is it 44 days until thanksgiving?"

"Oh yes Sunday sounds so much better. So Rachel?"

"Yes, Quinn."

"Can I ask you out on a date Sunday night? I won't keep you out late, I know you'll want to get a lot of rest before your screen test and, well it'd just be nice and there are so many places I want to take you to..."

"Yes, a date would be all kinds of awesome."

"Good." Quinn exhaled, relieved that they could get past that hurdle sooner than she'd thought.

xxx

The next morning and Quinn felt elated. She hit every line perfectly and they ended up wrapping early for the day, she loved her job and it helped that she worked with such an amazing crew. Her agent called just as she was about to head to the market.

"Quinn we need to talk. Get over here when you get out." Rick hung up before she could respond. She knew better than to keep him waiting so drove straight to his office. She was shown in immediately putting her on edge immediately, this never happened.

"Rick, good to see you."

"Sit down." He commanded and she followed his instructions.

"Explain this." Rick threw an envelope at Quinn and she slowly opened it and began examining the contents.

"What? It's nothing, I went home and saw some old friends at a reunion." She threw the envelope back on his desk, not interested in the contents, or at least hoping that is the message she was sending.

"That's all this is? Because it was on some fan site with a description of how you looked all cosy."

"Why wouldn't we be? We are old friends."

"Don't bullshit me Quinn. I know about you and Kristen. I've had to fucking pay to keep that story quiet."

"You did not, Kristen was fine, a little stalkerish, but fine."

"I paid by making sure she is never on the same lot as you, that takes time and effort and I'd say full on stalker, but you remember it your way."

"Fine."

"So this girl, who is she?"

"A friend, we were at high school."

"That better be it Quinn. I know that these photos are blurred and that works in your favor, but I don't need any more appearing with it."

"It's not going to be a problem."

"Good, because I have some good news to accompany this mess. You have an audition."

"But I'm happy at _The __Empire_"

"It's a bigger role. I really shouldn't be having to convince you. We need to be looking at options. _The __Empire _is dropping in the ratings and is unlikely to be renewed."

"Shit." Quinn rested her head in her hands, she wasn't ready for this right now, she loved that show and if it was over, then so many good people would be out of work too.

"I've squeezed you in for Monday. I know you have a late call that day."

"Sure."

"Here's the script. Don't mess this up."

Quinn got up and headed towards the door. "Thanks."

"Oh and Quinn, don't go getting pictured with anymore hot Broadway stars again, because I know that photo is blurry but even I know Rachel Berry when I see her."

"Fuck." Quinn cursed under her breath as she walked out of the door, she really didn't want Rick knowing so much about her personal life. It would only lead to trouble.

xxx

Sunday soon arrived and after an intense week at work Rachel was so happy to be in California, New York was home, but the summer heat could be oppressive. Los Angeles was different and a nice change. She was just glad she didn't have to drive, it looked chaotic. Kim had booked her hotel and she was pleased it wasn't too far from Quinn or the studio. She took a shower before getting ready for her date, she was so excited that she had thought of little else all week. This proved a problem when she was supposed to be learning lines, but the plane ride had come to her rescue and as always she was thankful that she had been gifted with a good memory.

Quinn arrived in the lobby a little after 7pm and Rachel hurried down to meet her.

"Hey." She greeted Quinn with a kiss to the cheek, Quinn pulled away a little, it was only marginal but Rachel picked up on it straight away. "Everything okay?"

"Yes, sure, just there are a lot of people. Its lovely to see you, you look gorgeous." Quinn was quick to counter, but her eyes were scanning the lobby.

"Friends kiss."

"They do." Quinn nodded.

"So don't worry."

Quinn didn't respond, she just led Rachel out to her car. They headed to the restaurant that Quinn had booked and Rachel was a little confused at its location and what she could only describe as seediness. They had driven away from the bright lights and landed in a quiet eatery on the outskirts of everything. Rachel had tried to take Quinn's hand as they got out of the car, but Quinn had pulled away, rummaging for something in her purse. The lighting inside was low and the place was practically empty. Rachel couldn't hide her confusion as she looked around.

"The food is good." Quinn reassured as they took their seats and Rachel decided to trust her. There was indeed a good selection of vegan dishes and perhaps Quinn had done some research. They fell into easy conversation, Rachel talked about the role she was up for and Quinn paid attention but Rachel couldn't help but think something was off. Perhaps it was the way Quinn got jittery whenever the front door opened or the way she would scan the room at random intervals, but Rachel knew it was odd behavior, even for Quinn.

"I'm going to have to get an early night." She folded her napkin on the table and looked up at Quinn. She hoped that it would spark something in Quinn, but the blonde just copied her and called for the waiter.

"I'll drive you back, just let me get the check."

"Right." Rachel was totally perplexed, she let Quinn pay and they made their way to Quinn's car. Rachel was now fully aware of the distance between their bodies, in Lima it had been handholds or linked arms, but now she felt like she was struggling to keep pace with Quinn as they walked, which really wasn't easy in the killer heels she had worn to show off her legs, not that Quinn seemed to be paying much attention.

"When do you have to be up?" Quinn asked as they got into her car.

"Audition is at 7am, they want to see me early, something to do with the lead actors schedule."

"So you aren't lead?"

"No, it's a supporting role. I'd probably be filming for about three months though. Thats if I get it. It's really good Quinn, such an amazing script and I love the part I'm up for, I think the character is far more interesting than any of the others."

"I'm really pleased for you. What time is the flight home?"

"I'm not sure how long it'll be, but I'm provisionally on the 3pm flight out. I need to be back on stage tomorrow."

"I'll come over when mine is done. I should be out by lunch, so maybe we'll get to see each other before you go?"

"I'd like that." Rachel half smiled and Quinn leant across the centre console, capturing her lips in a surprisingly heated kiss. It was the total opposite of their date but Rachel wasn't complaining as Quinn's tongue entered her mouth, she reached out and tried to pull her closer, but the car really wasn't helping her fulfil her needs.

Quinn ended the kiss and rested her forehead on Rachel's as she attempted to steady her breathing. Then, without a word, she started the car and they drove back to the hotel in silence.

"Night."

"Did you want to come in for a coffee?" Rachel couldn't help herself.

"I can't" Quinn groaned, she wanted to but it would not lead to Rachel having an early night.

"Okay, maybe tomorrow then."

"They are going to love you."

"Same for you." Rachel climbed out of Quinn's car and turned to wave goodbye, but Quinn's tail lights were already off in the distance. "Still confusing me." Rachel sighed.

xxx

Rachel nailed the audition, she was sure of it. It was a welcome distraction, Quinn's behavior the night before had been so strange and she wasn't sure why. She was finished early and had nothing to do, Quinn's cell went straight to voicemail. Perhaps it was just too much too soon and coming to L.A. within a week of the reunion was a case of bad timing. She didn't want to wait around, so scribbled a note and took a taxi to the airport. She'd see Quinn at thanksgiving and that would give her time to think on a few things.

xxx

Quinn arrived at Rachel's hotel a little after 2pm. Only to be told Rachel had checked out, she had figured she'd miss her, but the creator of the show she was auditioning for had made her wait around and screen test with a couple of other actors, she cursed her luck and was walking away from the concierge desk when he called out to her.

"Excuse me Miss, are you Quinn Fabray?"

"Yes."

"This is for you." He handed her an envelope and she quickly tore it open.

_Dear Quinn,_

_The audition and meetings went really well, I hope yours did too? I waited as long as I could but this is the last flight I can catch today. I tried to call you, but voicemail got annoying._

_Thanks again for dinner._

_Hope you still want to come for Thanksgiving?_

_It was lovely to catch up again. _

_Love_

_Rachel._

_x_

Quinn reread the letter, frustrated that she'd missed her and confused at the neutrality of the words. She had thought it was a lot more than lovely to catch up. It knocked her a bit that she'd had Rachel in the same city for less than 24 hours and somehow she'd let that time slip away so quickly. Thanksgiving was too far away, but her schedule was intense and she knew she wouldn't be able to get to New York sooner.

xxx

Rachel stood alone at the airport. Sad that she didn't even get a proper goodbye with Quinn, but even sadder that last night had been awkward. Maybe she'd got it all wrong in Lima, maybe that was the reunion curse? All those emotions suddenly rekindled and it turned out that the reality was too much for Quinn.

She checked her cell one last time before takeoff, but still nothing. Closing her eyes from the world around her didn't stop her heart from aching. She felt like she'd already lost something that was never hers to have and even though she'd sworn to never give up, right now she was just desperate to get home and forget that she'd almost let her heart go so easily.

xxx

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hopefully update by the weekend. **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Interesting reviews, this is going to be a long fic, so there is time yet for certain things to happen.**

**Mistakes are mine.**

* * *

><p>No matter how Rachel tried, she couldn't forget, because she really didn't want to. It was a bad date, but it wasn't the end. She just needed time to figure Quinn out. She wasn't about to hit the reset button, that would be impossible, but she did know that things had changed. Around Quinn she had just regressed back to being an eighteen year old, but now she knew to be more careful. If Quinn had asked her to move in on Sunday night she probably would have and that fact frightened her. She liked Quinn, she always had, but protecting her heart was important too.<p>

When she got back to her apartment she was exhausted, her bags could wait. Climbing under the covers she tried to sleep, but Quinn still filled her head. It had been one of the longest weeks of her life, she'd been so happy when she walked back in here a week ago and now she felt so confused and deflated. Quinn was cold on their date, but that kiss at the end of the night was something else.

Trying to focus on her audition she reran the whole thing in her mind and hoped she'd got the part, mini series were hot at the moment and she'd be working with a legend if she did get it. Even without the female lead she knew it was good, really good. A real chance to show she wasn't just a Broadway star, but that she had presence on the screen too. Moving into movies and trying out Hollywood wasn't all about Quinn, she'd had that other script on the table before the reunion after all. Just now the idea of being on the other side of the country wasn't as bad as she once thought and to be honest two live performances a day was hard, really hard. Playing the same part over and over had worn her down, she craved a change.

xxx

Turning on her laptop she saw a message from Santana and noticed that she was available for online chat.

"Hey Santana, you still online?"

"OMG, Rachel Berry just sent me a message. *imagine me fangirling*"

"Too funny!"

"I am! So how's NYC? Not ignoring us Lima Beans anymore?"

"Happy to be home. Just been in L.A."

"See Q?"

"Yes, she was odd."

"Odd? Come on, she was all googly eyes last week..."

"I know, I'm not sure, maybe it was just the mixed emotions of the reunion."

"Do you really think that?"

"No. She likes me. I like her. I don't know, it was just awkward."

"Quinn is awkward, she plays super cool and stuff, but she is such a mess, I don't know how you read her."

"It's confusing and I don't think I can read her."

"But she's pretty ;)"

"She's a whole lot more than that."

"Ah Berry, see you have your answer."

"Come again?"

"You think more of Quinn than anyone, she is that one for you, always has been and yes I have got all sappy in my old age."

"She's coming here for thanksgiving. I have some planning to do."

"Are you cooking her a turkey? Add bacon! She'll love you forever."

"She'll have to endure a Vegan meal."

"You want her heart, cook the meat!"

"So helpful."

"Just being honest and now I'm hungry."

"Speak soon?"

"I'll be sat here waiting for your call :)"

Returning to Lima really had been one of her better decisions. Just when she thought she had got it all, the Tony, the recognition, she found she didn't have love and she didn't have the girl.

Just as she was about to fall asleep Quinn called.

"Hi." She said sleepily.

"Sorry, did I wake you? I can go."

"No, its fine. It's only 10pm anyway."

"What happened?"

"It went really well."

"I meant you, you left and that note?"

"I'm sorry, I thought it was for the best."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I just got the impression you were uncomfortable and perhaps it was best to leave you to work out what you want."

"Rachel, I know what I want."

"Right." Rachel was curt.

"Please, don't. I thought last night was...well I was so happy to see you."

"Maybe I got the wrong message, I don't know."

"You did or I messed up. I probably messed up."

"I probably shouldn't have gone without talking to you."

"No, you really shouldn't."

"I said issues! One is going to be my need to storm out occasionally."

"Well, maybe you could just storm out of the room rather than the state next time." Quinn said and Rachel could tell it was through a smile.

"So you want a next time?"

"I'm counting down the days to thanksgiving."

"Me too." Rachel let out a deep breath, happy that they had made some kind of recovery. "I think it was just a bit too much too soon. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I kind of need to figure some things out."

"Just tell me next time."

"Why did you take me to that restaurant?"

"Um...well it's quiet."

"Are you ashamed?"

"No!" Quinn almost shouted. "Really, shit. I messed up. My agent got some photos of us and I was told to be quiet, I just wanted a chance to see if we could make it, without people finding out and putting pressure on us. I'm not ashamed and I'm not scared of being with you. Its just I know how ruthless these guys can be and I'm in the closet. It's not just me now, it's all the names I've been attached to and fuck it's just so complicated."

"What photos?"

"Turns out that girl was pretty good with a camera. It's nothing that can't be explained away, but Rick wasn't happy and I just didn't want him knowing anymore about us."

"You could have said."

"No, I _should_ have said."

"You are right though. I think I need to be honest with you too. Lima was amazing, but it was our past and we had a lot of emotions and feelings going on. I don't know for certain if they were all real. It's been five years Quinn and I think that in that time I may have painted a different picture of you and maybe you did the same about me. We don't know each other now. I hope I've changed since high school anyway and I'm sure you have too and although I'm attracted to you, I think I may have confused my happiness over seeing you again with some other things, coming to L.A. made me realize I was going too fast."

"Oh." Quinn's voice was noticeably shaky, even over the phone.

"I don't mean it to sound bad. I like you, but I want to be sure. I don't want to rush into this. I'm not eighteen anymore. I've learned to be careful with my heart, but last weekend I let it..." Rachel paused, not sure how much more she should say.

"Rachel, I will promise to be careful with your heart."

"Quinn..." Rachel's voice cracked "Stop being so perfect."

"I really want to be there and hugging you right now. I'm sorry about last night, I'm sorry for being me."

"Never be sorry for being you."

"We'll go at whatever pace works for you. Is Thanksgiving still okay?"

"Yes, of course, but um, well do you mind not having turkey?"

"Uh, yeah that'll be different...what do I get instead?"

Rachel paused for a moment "I'll do a turkey." She said determinedly, even though she had no idea what to do with one.

"No, you don't have to."

"I know, I want to, for you."

"Rachel, you are amazing, but how about I cook it. You can do your thing, I'll do mine. I'll come in a day earlier if thats alright?"

"That would be perfect, My Dad is going to love you, he hasn't had Turkey in years." Rachel beamed, happy they had slipped back into a happy place.

xxx

A week later and Quinn drove into her spot in the parking lot, Rick was stood by his car, hands on his hips and she knew she was about to get another earful.

"Rick." She greeted him as she exited her vehicle.

"Ms Fabray."

"I'm in trouble again?"

"Not with me, but it may be an issue when I tell you that they loved you and I have a big fat contract ready for you to sign, like they _really_ loved you." Rick shot Quinn his biggest grin, but she just shook her head. "It's the future, this is going to make you a household name, we'll be turning studios and producers away." He wrapped his arm around her.

"I need to talk to Bret, I don't want you doing it."

"Sure, but I think I should come, I know you think they are your buddies, but when you tell them you're leaving..."

"Fine, tag along."

"Let's get this signed and sealed first. Quinn this is the next big thing, _you_ are going to be the next big thing."

xxx

Rick was right, Bret wasn't happy, but he wished her well and was happy that he had a chance to work on a good demise for her character.

Quinn let Rick take her to lunch as a celebration, it was a big contract and he was overjoyed to finally make some decent money out of her and she was happy to have some of that spent on her.

"The girl?" Rick asked over dessert.

"Do we have to do this again? I want a private life, I won't talk about it, people can speculate, whats the harm?"

"This is all about money Quinn, you have to fit the image. It's not just the writers, producers and studio execs, its the sponsors and then some, they have power. Don't ruin your career over some silly fling."

"Fuck you Rick."

"So it's serious?" he pushed, his tone cold and clipped.

"What do you need me to do?" Quinn asked dejectedly.

"Some of the promotion is going to involve you and Chase. They want your chemistry to help get fans intrigued."

"Is he gay?"

"He, um. There is a past. It's been covered up. Being linked to you will work for you both."

"Same deal as always?"

"I think they'd prefer if you alluded to a relationship in interviews."

"No."

Rick rolled his eyes, they'd had this conversation several times before. "Fine, same deal as always, but Chase is likely to make comments, his agent is the one pushing the hookup."

Quinn placed her hands flat on the table and looked back at Rick. "I do this and you back off Rachel."

"I haven't done anything to Rachel."

"You know exactly what I mean. I'll 'date' Chase, but I get to have a peaceful relationship with Rachel."

"I can't say I'm not concerned, but I will back off. Just don't get caught Quinn, because it's a mess even I'd struggle to get you out of. It's hard enough keeping Beth out of the public eye, if they see you with Rachel, well it didn't take me long to find the McKinley year books online and then they have a whole town that knows all about you both."

"But at least you can say we are old school friends or something?"

"I can spin that."

"We were in glee club together." Quinn added wistfully.

"I don't have time to waltz down memory lane, just make sure she knows to keep quiet, you don't need her ruining your career." Quinn just narrowed her eyes at him. "Good, now you have some interviews coming up, we need to prepare."

Quinn nodded. It was another hour before she got away and was able to go back to the studio. She was sad that it wouldn't be forever, she loved the show they'd made, but she was as aware as Rick that it wasn't going anywhere. She didn't make much money, certainly not enough for her to be out of work for a long time and this really was her golden ticket. Rick had shown her the paperwork and she was delighted at what she saw, she was going to be working with some of the best in the industry. The thing with Chase was a small price to pay and even though she wasn't sure where things stood with her and Rachel right now, she at least knew it wouldn't be a problem. She'd called her after her lunch and Rachel laughed it off, giving her full support which made Quinn feel a little easier, she hated the lies, but having Rachel be okay with it helped.

xxx

The next few weeks passed fast, she had to work around the clock as _The __Empire_ made sure they got the very best ending for her character, she loved how dark the story became and knew she was doing some amazing work, but it really was nonstop. Her name was already becoming more well-known and she barely had a chance to breathe before she began shooting scenes for _A __madness,_ her new show. It was already the most talked about fall premier and the hype was only just beginning. Her casting as the leading man's love interest was building steam in the gossip columns and the links between her and Chase were now in full spin mode. They got gas just yesterday and Quinn had laughed with Rachel as they flicked through the photos online. She was glad Rachel was not only understanding but also sympathetic to her situation.

Every night they'd spend about an hour on the phone together, but it wasn't nearly enough for Quinn, she still felt she had some making up to do after Rachel's visit to L.A. went so awry.

xxx

Rachel cursed the fact that she'd given Kim a key to her apartment. The fierce woman was now stood at the end of her bed, tossing clothes out of her wardrobe as she chastised Rachel for her poor taste and general laziness. Rachel hadn't known what it was like to have a mother as she grew up, but she imagined Kim was filling some of the more annoying parts of that role right now.

"So yeah, they kinda loved you."

"Huh?" Rachel really hadn't been paying attention, she was more concerned that her prized Laboutins were now being critically examined.

"They...loved...you." Kim spoke loud and clear.

"They did?" Rachel was still confused.

"Oh catch on, you got the part. They fucking loved you Ms Berry!"

"Fuck." Rachel gasped, she'd thought she'd done well, but knowing she got it and that she could close that distance between her and Quinn was something else.

"So get that hot ass of yours out of bed and we can celebrate. Mr Jordan is coming to see you. He's the money for the film, so be nice!"

"I can be nice." Rachel was now out of bed and jumping around the room with joy, she couldn't believe it.

"Here." Kim passed her an outfit that she had finally deemed suitable and ushered Rachel off to get ready.

Rachel was still in shock after her meeting. Now she had all the details and knew she'd have a little bit of time off before they began shooting in January, she decided to keep the news from Quinn until she could tell her in person, she knew she'd be happy, but really wanted to see her face, the fact that she would be going to California was a big deal for them both.

xxx

Quinn was nervous as she packed her bags. Seeing Rachel again had been her goal for so long and it had been the one thing to get her through her grueling schedule. The moment she'd been waiting for had arrived and she was concerned she'd put too much emphasis into how important it was, it was clear from the phone conversations that Rachel had doubts and that had her worried.

Her debut on _A __Madness_ had been well received. She walked the red carpet of some random film the other night with Chase for company and the tabloids had loved it. Money was to be made from her face and the paps at LAX were eagerly trying to get shots of her, she tried to avoid them, but it was near impossible. After a less than pleasant flight, she was relieved that JFK was a lot quieter. A fan nervously approached her as she waited on her bags and she happily signed her poster and posed for a photo. It didn't dawn on her that perhaps her trip to New York at Thanksgiving was something Rick would not want being common knowledge. She hadn't even got to Rachel's before he'd texted her.

**New York? Broadway bound? Warn me in advance next time!**

Quinn audibly growled and got a strange look from her driver. She tapped out a reply, this was her weekend.

**Happy Thanksgiving to you too.**

She'd have turned her phone off then if she could, but she knew it'd only lead to trouble, plus Rachel may have needed to contact her. Rick wasn't all bad, he just saw dollar signs most of the time. She was relieved he didn't reply. She was happy to spend all weekend indoors with Rachel, so he really had nothing to worry about.

The journey to Rachel's was long, she'd hit the traffic, but suddenly didn't mind. Her nerves were taking hold as she stared out of the window wondering what the next few days would bring. The taxi stopped and she no longer had time to worry, she had arrived.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanksgiving is next.**

**So maybe there will be another chapter over the weekend as this one is early. I'm still really enjoying writing this, hope you are enjoying reading.**


	7. Chapter 7

Rachel got home late, she'd finished her run on the weekend and had been invited back for a special performance that night. There had been tears and hugs as champagne was popped around her. She cried and laughed, she was going to miss them all, it had been fun and exhausting, but familiar and comforting. Now everything that lay ahead was unknown.

In a few minutes Quinn would arrive and her nerves were making themselves known as she quickly tidied and fussed around her apartment.

The last time they'd been in the same space was the trip to L.A. and Rachel was desperate that this time would be better, it had to be. They'd talked everyday since and it had been good, better than good. Rachel felt so happy the second she heard Quinn's voice on the other end of the phone and sad when she had to say goodnight, but she still needed to know if they could actually exist in the same space, that what she felt was tangible and that they could have a real relationship.

The knock on the door broke her thoughts. She rushed towards it, but hesitated as her hand reached for the handle, trying to calm her nerves but failing, she finally opened the door. Quinn looked as beautiful as ever, even after a long flight and Rachel felt like she'd had the breath knocked out of her. They stood awkwardly looking at each other for a moment, neither sure what they should do or say until Rachel finally gave in and smiled, pulling Quinn into a hug before stepping back.

"It's so good to see you. How was the flight?"

"Terrible, turbulence and I got elbowed a lot! But it's worth it now I get to see your face."

Rachel blushed and ducked her head, trying to hide, but Quinn cupped her chin lifting it until their eyes met.

"Quinn." Rachel closed her eyes as she breathily spoke the other girls name.

"I missed you." Quinn placed a chaste kiss to Rachel's lips, before walking into the apartment and looking around. "Now where do I put my bags?"

"Um." Rachel mashed her lips together as she looked at Quinn.

"What?" Quinn arched her eyebrow inquisitively.

"My room or the couch?"

"Oh." Quinn stopped to think. "Look I'll take the couch if it's awkward for you? I mean we tried and then I messed up and well I wouldn't, we could just sleep and girls do that kind of thing, so if you were okay, then perhaps?"

"Shush." Rachel placed a finger over Quinn's mouth and felt a shiver rip through her body at the contact. "You'll stay with me, my couch is nice, but my bed is huge. I think we can control ourselves for a couple of nights. I like you, but I think we need to draw a boundary for this weekend at least, until we are both sure it's what we want."

"Yes, okay fine." Quinn's eyes were now locked on her feet, she wasn't sure how to fix things, L.A. was clearly still a problem for Rachel, but she was glad she had a few days to try. Sharing a bed with Rachel may not be the best idea at the moment, but she certainly liked the thought of it.

xxx

"So I bought you this." Rachel drew Quinn's attention to the bird that was placed on the kitchen counter and Quinn gasped.

"Rachel, that is going to feed about 500 people!"

"Really?" Rachel flicked her eyes between the Turkey and Quinn. "I didn't know, I mean I never have, so I picked the biggest."

Quinn laughed loudly and it only made Rachel blush harder. "Well, your Dad is going to be so happy! This should keep him going for the next five years."

"Screw you Fabray." Rachel threw a towel at a still laughing Quinn.

"I wish." Quinn muttered under her breath before beginning her preparation of the Turkey, Rachel put away her bags before rejoining her. "Maybe we could feed the homeless when we've finished?"

"Please stop." Rachel begged.

"Anything for you." Quinn grinned. Rachel cringed as she watched Quinn begin placing butter underneath the birds skins. "Did you get bacon?"

"I did."

"God Rachel, I could love you." The words hung between them, but Quinn didn't let Rachel dwell on them for long, instead she sang along to a song on the radio, knowing Rachel wouldn't be able to resist joining in.

An hour later and they both collapsed on the couch with a glass of wine each.

"Welcome." Rachel opened her arms out with a flourish.

"Thank you. It's nice to have somewhere to go."

"I'm glad you came, it means a lot to me. How's work?"

"Not great. It's just been hectic, but we wrapped on _The __Empire _the other day and I died, well I died five times in total and that was kinda draining."

"So no chance of going back?"

"I think they were a bit angry, but yeah that's how it goes."

"And the new show?"

"It's doing well, the press love it and the ratings are high, I'm hoping my arrival on screen doesn't coincide with a dip or I'll be out." Quinn joked.

"The audience will double when they see you on screen." Rachel assured.

"I can only hope. I appear in episode 3 briefly and then it's full on. I filmed last week between _The __Empire_ wrap."

"I've been watching when I can, I feel really proud of you, is that strange?"

"I felt proud when I saw you walk on the stage the first time and every time after." Quinn gripped Rachel's hand tightly.

"I still have questions about when I came to see you." Rachel shifted her eyes from their linked hands to Quinn's face.

"I owe you answers. Rach, I should have been stronger, I was scared. Rick had put pressure on me, I don't trust him, but he's not the worst out there. Just if he got at you in some way..."

"Why would he do that?"

"I've heard it happens. A bit like how Dad's pay off unworthy suitors so they don't marry their daughters, agents get rid of things _they_ see as problems, it's all money to them."

"No one is buying me." Rachel laughed at the thought.

"No, but they can do other things, threats. Stop you working. Kristen wouldn't drop it and I don't think she's doing well now. I mean I don't know for sure, but I think that's because of me and Rick or it could just be that she isn't that great an actor, but still...I can't be sure."

"But now you have a break on...sorry I forgot the name, I keep calling it _The __Mad __Girl_."

"_A __Madness._"

"Right, but doesn't that mean you are going to be more well known? I guess what I mean is what happens when I'm in L.A. too?"

"At the moment my plan is to not make you feel like you did that night. We can take it slow Rachel, I'll go at your pace."

"I think slow is probably best, I don't want a mob of agents chasing me out of town because I tried to hold your hand."

"Just avoid the alluring outfits when we go out and I'll try to keep my urges under control."

"Maybe I could go back to animal sweaters and plaid skirts?"

"God no. I'd eat you alive."

Rachel shuddered at the very thought, perhaps she still had some of her old outfits in storage, she made a mental note to get her Daddy to look once he returned after Thanksgiving.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Rachel asked as she topped up their glasses.

"I'd rather talk...but if it's what you want." Rachel shook her head, she wanted to talk too.

"Tell me when you knew you were gay."

"Senior year, when I walked in on you and Finn. I denied it to myself of course, but that was when I knew for sure."

Rachel just stared back at Quinn for a moment. "So that night! Whoa and then you didn't talk to me?"

"I'd been through hell, Beth, my parents. Then Shelby came back and it was Beth again. I was just getting somewhere, we'd made friends and I felt good inside, but being gay wasn't an option, liking girls, liking the girl that was just becoming a friend, I pushed you away and I've had to try to live with it for the last five years, I..."

Rachel shook her head and Quinn stopped. "I broke up with him after that night, I should have done it sooner. I don't know why I got so wrapped up in him, but I'd wanted him for so long and he was yours, then mine and, wow I just can't believe it. I can't believe you ran."

"I know it seems crazy but it was like someone kicked me in the guts over and over. I ran and I'm ashamed now, I didn't even say goodbye before you went to New York."

"I came to your house."

"When?"

"Before I left. I stood at the door, but never knocked."

"Do you wonder how things could have been?" Quinn shifted on the couch so that she was facing Rachel.

"Sometimes, but then I think that if we're meant to be then it'll happen. I'm scared. I'm not going to hide that. My feelings for you can be overwhelming and that's frightening at times because I think I'm turning back into the girl that chased Finn all over again."

"But I'm no Finn. Rachel, you mean a lot to me, I just want to show you."

"I want to know, I do, but I need to be careful, it'd be so easy to just give in to how I feel, but it'd be wrong, what I feel is stronger than anything I've ever felt before, I need to get this right, it matters too much."

"I think I know what you mean."

"So can you handle that? I can't just jump in, no matter how much I may be tempted. I have to be careful, I have to know it's right?"

"I'll wait." Quinn pulled Rachel into a hug, she desperately wanted to tell her that she should just take a risk and they should go for it because nothing had ever felt more right then when she held Rachel, but she didn't. She had to respect Rachel's choice and she already knew she'd wait as long as it took, because she knew Rachel felt something and that was enough for now.

"I appreciate it. So is now a good time to tell you I'm going to be coming to L.A. next month?"

"You got it?"

"I so fucking got it!"

"Fuck hearing you swear is just wow and sexy."

"You think?" Rachel beamed and Quinn didn't hesitate as she captured Rachel's lips with her own. It was chaste, but enough in that moment.

"I'm really happy. I think some serious time together will be good, when did they get back to you? I mean I thought it might not be happening, you didn't bring it up and I've been trying not to ask."

"I found out a couple of weeks ago, but I wanted to tell you in person, its been so hard keeping it in. We had to wait for some things to happen, all boring stuff, but yeah I have a contract and its going to be amazing."

"I can't...wow. I'm going to be able to show you around and take you to the places I love. When do you arrive?" Quinn asked excitedly.

"We start filming the first week of January and it's all set for a midseason feature, it's a support role, but I've got a lot of scenes."

"How many parts is it going to be?"

"Five they think. It's a lot of work."

"It sounds it."

"Emotionally it's going to be tough. I'm playing a 16 year old daughter of a bipolar woman. I think it's going to be a challenge and I can't wait. I've not really done anything like it before, but at least the character uses humor to help her cope, other than that it's pretty dark."

"You are going to be amazing."

"I'm going to be on TV." Rachel screamed out in excitement and Quinn joined her as she leapt off the couch and scooped the brunette into her arms, before they fell back down in a heap of tangled limbs.

"How the hell did you keep that quiet?"

"I have no idea, i'm working with some amazing talent and it's going to be big, I just know it."

"Wow, that's just kind of...I'm jealous. Why don't I get to hear about roles like this?"

"Because you are about to be TV's new breakout star...look it says it here." Rachel chucked a copy of her magazine at Quinn.

"Hmm."

"Hmm indeed. Chase likes to touch you."

"I've told him to stop, he's a sleaze. I thought he was gay when Rick said we'd have to 'date', but now I'm not so sure. But enough about Chase, what I really want to ask is can I take you out when you get there? Like official and properly?"

"But secretly and sneakily?"

Quinn pulled away and sunk back into the couch. "Yeah." She sighed.

"Yeah." Rachel mimicked. "Yeah, fucking yes, yeah. We are so dating Quinn Fabray." Rachel straddled Quinn on the couch.

"Quietly?" Quinn asked hesitantly, not willing to get her hopes up too soon.

"Any way we have to, okay?" Rachel pressed a kiss to Quinn's forehead.

"Yes." Quinn's eyes sparkled as the thought of sharing the same city as Rachel began to wash over her.

"I'm not promising it'll work, but I am promising to try, so long as you don't go all awkward on me."

"I can't promise about the awkward. It's kinda who I am now, but I'll be the best I can for you."

"You're really pretty." Rachel brushed Quinn's hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek, Quinn closed her eyes at the touch and leant into Rachel's hand.

"We should get some sleep." Quinn tried to break the moment, she was close to getting lost in Rachel and had to try to keep her promise of boundaries and going slow, for tonight at least, she didn't want to scare Rachel off before they'd even got going.

"Yep, sleep. Sure." Rachel climbed off Quinn, a grin in place as she pulled Quinn up. Going slow was going to be torture.

Rachel walked towards her bedroom door, before stopping abruptly, Quinn didn't realize until she almost bumped into her and then without hesitation Rachel's lips were on hers. Quinn moaned at the sensation and Rachel took advantage, their tongues met in a languid kiss, before Rachel's hands gripped at her sides and pulled Quinn closer, the kiss became more needy and desperate. Their bodies were pressed together but it wasn't enough, Rachel pushed Quinn backwards until her back was against the wall, her hands were now pulling Quinn's shirt out of her jeans and fingers were splayed across the blondes toned abs. Quinn bucked into Rachel and Rachel pushed her back harder into the wall. Breaking the kiss, she began attacking her neck with hot kisses and delicate nips, before reaching her collar bone, but then Quinn's hands were on her shoulder's gently pushing her back.

"What's that noise?" Quinn asked as she tried to catch her breath, Rachel looked at her confusedly for a moment, taking in the blondes flushed appearance and smiling at what she'd done, before she realized what Quinn was talking about.

Rachel picked her cell off the sideboard. "A reminder."

"For what? It's nearly midnight."

Rachel showed Quinn the message on the screen. 'Do not have sex with Quinn' was all it said and Quinn chuckled as she read it aloud.

"Oh, really Rachel! So all the talk of going slow..."

"Yeah, sorry. I had a feeling I'd not be able to trust myself."

"When did you set that?"

"Last night."

Quinn grinned at that, happy that sex was at least on Rachel's mind before she'd arrived. So tonight they wouldn't be doing anything, she could just about survive, but as she lay in the bed next to the brunette her hand moved towards the middle. Rachel's brushed against hers and Quinn entwined their fingers. It was a small gesture, but more than enough for now, a smile played at her lips as she fell into a contented sleep.

xxx

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanksgiving part 2 next.**

**I keep having ideas and am writing loads. Hope you are still enjoying. Please tell me anyway, I like to know what you think and if I don't reply its only because I'm writing this instead and I am totally awkward, but I do appreciate your comments.**

**Updates may be slower now that the holidays are coming, but I'll do my best to get some things out in the next week. I want a Faberry Christmas in chapter 9, so will try to have that done for you before the real thing comes around.**


	8. Chapter 8

Rachel woke at 8am, turning to see Quinn still sleeping soundly. They had moved in the night and when she woke Quinn's arm had been draped across her stomach. She admired her beauty as she watched her sleep, so glad to actually share the same space with her again. Rachel knew she wanted Quinn, she wanted her a lot, but it was frightening just how much and she was glad that she'd set that alarm last night. It'd be different today, her Dads would arrive shortly and their presence would help her to keep her hormones in check. She was pleased they had two more days together and knowing that she'd be in the same state as Quinn in just over a months time filled her with happiness, but it was tinged with a fear of what may lie ahead.

She crept out of the Bedroom and put on a pot of coffee. It was strange how right it felt having Quinn close, she was still planning on taking it slow, but didn't regret the kiss last night one bit.

Just as she settled with a cup, Quinn walked in the room, her hair was still mussed and Rachel couldn't imagine her looking any sexier, she couldn't take her eyes of the woman's svelte figure and let them linger on the exposed flesh of her stomach, wetting her lips as she thought of what it'd be like to taste that skin. Quinn coughed and when Rachel's eyes met inquisitive hazel orbs she realized she'd been caught, but instead of blushing she just winked suggestively and it was enough to make Quinn burst out laughing.

"Sleep well?" Rachel enquired as Quinn poured a coffee and joined her.

"Yeah, you have the best bed in the entire world."

"I know, I'm going to miss it when I leave."

"You're going to keep the apartment?"

"Kim thinks I should sublet, but I don't like the idea of having some stranger in here, with my things and it's only a few months."

"Who's Kim?"

"My agent/publicist/manager/dresser and then some. She's blunt, kinda rude, but does her job well and I wouldn't get through a day without her, well except holidays and things, but if I'm working I need her."

"Will I like her?"

"No."

"Okay then." Quinn laughed off Rachel's comment, but she was keen to meet Kim and wondered if she was a cross between Sue and Santana because that was how she now pictured her. "I'm going to get that huge turkey in the oven, it should be okay for about 2pm. Is that going to be good for you?"

"Perfect, Dad and Daddy will be here about 11am. I need a shelf in the oven and two of the rings on the hob. The rest is yours."

"Our first Thanksgiving." Quinn moved behind Rachel wrapping her arms around her waist and resting her chin on the shorter woman's shoulder.

"I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." Quinn squeezed Rachel and let her lips brush against her ear lobe. Rachel shivered and Quinn placed a soft kiss to her neck. "Really glad."

"But you have to let me go, I've got too much to do and at least three more coffees to drink before my Dads arrive."

"Fine, I'll take a shower." Quinn reluctantly let go and left Rachel to get on with her cooking.

An hour later and the apartment smelt delicious, it was filled with the smell of turkey and bacon mixed with Rachel's vegan concoctions. Rachel had finished her second coffee and gone to take a shower, Quinn couldn't help herself as she tried to sneakily taste the dishes Rachel was working on, she was amazed at how good they were.

"You like?" Rachel asked as she returned from her shower, she was still towel drying her hair when she caught Quinn with a wooden spoon to her lips.

"You're a good cook."

"Don't sound so surprised."

"I didn't mean to, it's just well, this is wow and it's just vegetables."

"You have a lot to learn, but you're going to have the best teacher in me. Eating defenseless animals is not...what?" Rachel stopped at Quinn's raised hand.

"Look I think you are hot and I really like you and want to have a relationship and date and other things, you know, but I'm not stopping eating meat. So save the speeches and powerpoint presentations for someone else...ouch" Quinn flinched as a cushion hit her on the head. Rachel was now pouting, but Quinn couldn't help but laugh.

"Fine." She stomped her foot and spun ready to storm out, but realizing she was still in her robe she headed back to the bedroom and dried her hair instead.

xxx

A little later and Quinn opened the door to an eager Hiram and a flustered Leroy.

"Quinn, so good to see you again, I watched you last night and wow you are amazing, really amazing and I know its the big finale soon, so you must tell me what happens next?"

"Please H, can we at least get in the door before you start fangirling."

"Why? So you and Quinn can fangirl over Rachel instead? I love _The __Empire_."

"I know!" Leroy was exasperated.

"Don't mind my husband, he hates New York, puts him in a mood before we've even packed a bag."

"I do not hate New York. I just don't like the taxi drivers." Leroy had had enough and moved past Hiram into Rachel's living room. "My god this place is huge, she's obviously making more money than I thought."

"I probably am." Rachel appeared in the bedroom doorway. "Dad, Daddy, welcome to my home."

Quinn felt a little sting at that. Rachel's home was so far from her own and it wasn't a place they shared, but she pushed that thought away for another day. This was all still new for them both and u-haul was not an option.

The Berry's bickered more than Quinn realized and she was relieved when dinner was finally served. It seemed to calm Leroy to have a full belly and she could relate to that, but they had barely touched the turkey and Rachel was busy scolding them both for wasting it.

"I'll make a curry." Quinn finally conceded and Rachel seemed happy with that answer as she sat back down at the table.

"Dessert?"

A collective moan escaped and Rachel shook her head at them all.

"Couch, TV, no talking, does that sound better?"

"Perfect." They sighed in unison.

Rachel tidied the last of the dishes away before taking a seat next to Quinn, she didn't think twice as she lifted Quinn's arm and leant into her side, allowing Quinn to wrap her arm around her shoulders. Her own hand resting on Quinn's stomach. Her thoughts returned to the earlier vision of bare skin and her hand began tracing circles over the defined abs she'd been so eagerly admiring. Quinn shifted at the touch and noticed Hiram quickly turn away.

"Did Rachel tell you about her new job?" Leroy asked as Rachel made them all coffee.

"She did. I just can't believe that she is going to be in Los Angeles at last and soon she'll be a megastar."

"It's shocking! My baby is going to be on the telly. I just can't." Hiram squeezed Leroy's hand.

"I know, Broadway, well yeah Rachel was always going to make it there, but now to California. Promise me you'll take care of her Quinn? I mean I know you are both close now and things and my Rachel still needs protecting, she'll deny it of course" Leroy shot Rachel a look.

"I will do my best, Cali is a bit more laid back than NY, I think she'll be fine."

"I meant from the darker side of things, casting couches, seedy agents and alike."

"Oh god no, please give me some credit." Rachel placed the pot and cups on the table.

"It's a bad place. I'm sure Quinn has tales to tell." Leroy continued, Rachel just rolled her eyes at him.

"Um, well some people aren't too nice, but really I doubt it's much different to the stage, basically you've got to take care of yourself, no one else will and for most of the people around you, it's all about money."

"But you have friends and good people around you too?" Hiram looked at Quinn concerned.

"Some are I guess. I got on really well with the cast and crew at _The __Empire_ I think we'll all stay in touch."

"Then I'm glad Rachel is going to be there for you too, it sounds like you need someone."

"I kind of do." Quinn spoke softly, her eyes locked on Rachel's. The brunette reached out and took her hand with a gentle squeeze.

"So you do need saving?" Rachel said as Quinn entwined their fingers.

"Always."

Quinn was so lost in Rachel, the fact that her Dads were in the room were forgotten.

"Maybe we should get to bed." Hiram stood and pulled a protesting Leroy to his feet.

"But its so cozy, this is the best couch in all the world."

"And our daughter needs some space, come on. It was a long trip."

"Fine, night baby, night Quinn." Leroy huffed before kissing the girls goodnight.

xxx

"Hiram knows." Quinn said as soon as the guest room door was closed.

"You think?"

"Definitely, he knew in Lima."

"And he hasn't had 'the talk' with you yet? He must like you! Actually he really seems to, all that about me being there for you."

"He was right, I need someone. It's been hard the last five years. It was okay when I was running from my past."

"But you aren't running now?"

"No, I'm just finding the place I want to be." Quinn looked at Rachel pointedly.

"Come to bed." Rachel stood and left her hand out for Quinn to take.

"No alarms?" Quinn asked hopefully.

"Just trust. I'm not ready, not yet. I want to hold you though because I will be there for you Quinn. I want this."

"Thank you." Quinn took Rachel's hand and let her lead the way to her bed. Once changed they both climbed in and true to her word, Rachel's arms wrapped around Quinn pulling her close. She felt so much comfort in Rachel's hold, the tears fell without her realizing and she felt Rachel's hand start to brush through her hair reassuringly.

xxx

When she woke up Rachel was gone and she sat up panicked. She'd let go of something last night, all those years of emptiness had hit her hard, she'd felt so safe in Rachel's arms, but maybe it was too much for the other woman. Her fears were short lived when Rachel walked back in the room and climbed onto the bed so that she was kneeling beside Quinn with a tray in her hands.

"Breakfast madam?"

"Mmm please, I'm strangely starving, even after all that yesterday."

"Well it's just us now. My Dads have gone sightseeing, I thought I'd let you sleep in and we can always join them later?"

"Thanks, wow these are really good, I can't get over your cooking."

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked once they finished eating.

Quinn looked up at Rachel and all her vulnerability returned, the concern in the deep brown orbs that looked at her just ripped her soul open.

"I might be." She spoke just above a whisper. "It's been a long journey to get back to something that reminds me of me. When I first went to L.A. I was a mess. I drank and smoked and partied. I never dealt with anything and I'm not proud of the mistakes I made. My Dad had just died and my Mom let me run away, neither of us could be there for the other. I'd been a cheerleader, the most popular girl in school, a pregnant teen, a punk, a psycho mom all before I'd even graduated. Playing another role was easy once I calmed down. Being an actor turns out to be the most natural thing in the world to me, but it also helped me to hide and that wasn't good."

"You are very talented. I'm in awe to be honest, I worked so hard, but when I see you on the screen, well it's something else. You can tell me, you know? about whatever it is that you did. You don't have to hide from me."

"Some things I can't talk about, not yet anyway. My talent is tainted in a way, I had to get so messed up for that to be possible, I wouldn't wish that on anyone, work hard, it's emotionally more stable." She gave Rachel a lopsided grin and was met with a kiss.

"You aren't alone anymore." Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn's shoulders and held her tight.

She couldn't help but cry at that, she'd felt so alone for too long. Rachel made her feel okay, made her feel like she belonged.

"I think you're the most amazing person I've ever met."

"I probably am." Rachel quipped. "But in all honesty, I get some of it. I know the loneliness. I ran away too, I ran from everything I knew and tried to be someone else. It was hard, but after a year I realized I had to just be me, I'd never have gotten anywhere pretending to be accommodating and eager to please, just in the hope that everyone would like me. I'm Rachel Berry, I want something and I work hard to get it."

"That simple huh?"

"No." Rachel let go of Quinn and fell back on the pillow, Quinn lay down beside her and Rachel rolled onto her side to look at her. "I came here with an ache. I missed _you_. I thought maybe it'd be Finn or home or more likely my Dads, but it was you. Then I met someone. He was, well it was me being a silly little schoolgirl all over again and." Rachel closed her eyes at the memory and felt Quinn's fingers gently brush against hers, encouraging her to finish. "I walked in on him with my new best friend and then roommate. Things got a little awkward after that."

"He broke your heart?"

"No, I was more upset that I'd let someone mess me around so badly, it wasn't just the cheating. He'd been controlling. I'd let a guy say where I could go and who I could see. I didn't even like the girl that was supposed to be my best friend, she was so shallow and clearly not a good friend either." She shook her head at the memory and noticed Quinn's brow knitted together. "I was weak and so desperate to be accepted and loved, its always been my weakness."

"But you are stronger now." Quinn stated, she could tell Rachel wasn't the girl that she'd just described, not anymore.

"I am. Meeting Jesse again helped."

"The guy that first played you?" Quinn scoffed, she still wasn't too pleased that Jesse was still in Rachel's life.

"He changed. I'd changed and I had a friend. He helped me with auditions and even helped me make contacts. Without him I might have ended back in Lima, teaching drama and running the glee club."

"So maybe I can forgive him then, maybe." Quinn smiled through a pout.

"I hope so, he's a good friend. But enough melancholy, how about we get out of this place?"

"Can we hide indoors all day?"

"No."

"Going out sounds great." Quinn said with zero enthusiasm.

"Come on, this is the first time I've _known_ you were in New York with me. I want to take you places."

"Empire state is fun the second time?"

"It is and the fifth, but I meant my theatre and my favorite coffee shop and there is this little book shop and..."

"I'll be ready in 30." Quinn jumped out of bed and rushed to get ready, she was desperate to see Rachel's favorite place and knew it was a big deal to the brunette to take her there.

xxx

They returned four hours later, arms wrapped around each other trying to keep warm. They fell through the door in laughter and were met by quizzical looks from both of Rachel's dads.

"Good day?" Leroy asked.

"The best." Rachel replied, the smile not leaving her face as she looked adoringly at Quinn.

"Best Thanksgiving ever." Quinn nodded.

"It's been so good seeing you again, your father and I wondered if you'd join us for Hanukkah. It's been a while."

"I uh." Rachel looked to Quinn and remembered she didn't need to keep running anymore. "I'd love to Daddy." She was suddenly scooped up in Leroy's arms.

"And you too Quinn? If you'd like to? We love having people and we do celebrate Christmas too, so?" Hiram added.

"Can you face Lima?" Rachel focussed on the blonde.

"For you? Yes, I'd love to come."

Plans were made, menu's discussed. Quinn's presence meant Leroy could indulge in cooking meat and he was letting them all know that Quinn was now his best friend forever. Quinn laughed and relaxed and could honestly not remember feeling happier or more like she belonged in her whole life.

"It feels like home." She pressed a kiss to Rachel's neck as they nuzzled on the couch.

"New York?"

"No, this. Being with you."

Rachel leant her head against Quinn's, it really did feel perfect, but an old doubt kept creeping into her mind. In their bubble it was amazing, yet Rachel was a little scared how things would be once they had to face the real world, but for now she pushed it to one side. They had just had the best Thanksgiving and in a little over a month, they'd do it all again for the holidays.

xxx

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for the reviews everyone, it means a lot. I'm working on the next chapter.**

**Christmas at the Berry's should be here by Friday, I'm thinking some fluff and there may be sex, but I don't know, do you think they are ready?**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: M rated.**

* * *

><p>Christmas had arrived before Quinn knew it. Work had been consuming and draining, but it had made the time pass quickly and now she was moments away from seeing Rachel again. They were going to be in Lima for 3 days and then she was heading to Boston to see Beth, before spending two days with her Mom and then returning to New York to spend New years with Rachel. They'd agreed shortly after she'd returned to California that they wanted to see in the new year together and New York sounded perfect to Quinn. Rachel would be in LA the week after and Quinn couldn't wait to finally have the chance to make this work.<p>

It had been over three months since the reunion and things had been different, she felt like she had another reason in her life, it wasn't just all work. Seeing Rachel, even though it was sporadic, was the thing she worked towards.

Sometimes she wondered how life would have been if she'd realized all this five years ago. If when she had the chance at high school, she'd been able to accept her feelings and go for it, but life had changed her and it wasn't all bad, she actually felt that now she was more able to be with Rachel, to love her, if that's what it was? Quinn was pretty sure it was, but even that felt new and she wasn't sure. Yet at the end of each day, the second she heard Rachel's voice was the moment she felt complete and she knew that mattered.

In three months they'd managed a lacklustre date in L.A. and a sort of date in New York. Two dates and now a Hanukkah and Christmas combined with the Berry family was up next. She'd complain, but actually the thought of spending the holidays with Rachel and her family made her happier than she'd felt in years. She was excited about Christmas for the first time since she was a kid and she'd been happily shopping for gifts all week.

When she got out of baggage claim she saw her immediately. Rachel Berry was stood dressed in what she had possibly thought looked like a chauffeurs uniform, holding a sign for 'Lucy Fabray' Quinn laughed the second she saw her, but her heart was so full that she thought it'd burst.

"I went for Lucy, I thought it was discreet." Rachel grinned as Quinn approached. She pulled her into a long hug and knew that discreet was not happening.

"Happy Christmas Rach." she whispered into her ear.

"Happy Hanukkah." Rachel pressed a kiss to Quinn's cheek, before picking up her bags and taking her to the car.

"You're driving?" Quinn pretended to be scared.

"It was the plan." Rachel threw Quinn the keys. "but if you want?"

"No, sorry. That was rude, you're a great, um a good, um yeah you drive."

Rachel laughed and it sounded so good, Quinn wanted to pull her back into her arms and kiss her properly, but there were a lot of people around and Rachel's laugh had made them turn and look at the pair, so instead she got into the car and prayed Rachel would take it easy on the roads.

xxx

"My Dads are busy this afternoon, so we'll put your bags away and then you can help me with the cooking. I have some cookies to bake and then a sauce...there is a lot to do."

Quinn picked up her bag and headed upstairs with Rachel just behind her.

"I'm so tired though, I don't know if I'll last through the carols tonight."

"You'll be fine, and if you even think about dozing off I'll poke you."

"Um, no." Quinn glared at Rachel, but her old fierceness was gone.

"What are you doing?" Rachel asked as Quinn opened the door to the guest room.

"Putting my bags...I just assumed?"

"Stay in the guest room if you want? I just thought it'd be nice if you were in with me."

"Much nicer, yes." Quinn agreed and quickly changed her route to Rachel's room. Once inside she put her bags down before turning around and facing Rachel. "You are so beautiful." she said as she took a step closer and placed her hands on Rachel's hips, tilting her head to one side and placing a soft kiss to the lips she dreamt of at night. Rachel's arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her into her body, until they were pressed tightly together. The brunette looked up to meet Quinn's eye.

"I missed you so much." Rachel's breath ghosted across her lips as she initiated a second kiss. She moaned as the brunettes lips glided against her own, Rachel's tongue flicked against her bottom lip and she willingly allowed it access, their tongues moved in slow languid strokes as Quinn tried to savor every moment. Her hand was now in Rachel's hair, holding her firmly in place as she tried to get more from the kiss.

"Fuck." She gasped as Rachel bit down on her bottom lip. Her hands instantly began tugging at Rachel's shirt as she craved the touch of her skin.

"Touch me." Rachel husked and Quinn couldn't get her hands onto her skin quickly enough, she let them enjoy the feel of the soft flesh of her stomach, but then Rachel's hands were on top of hers. "Touch me here." She lifted Quinn's to her breast and Quinn couldn't suppress a moan.

"Rachel, I..."

She was cut off by Rachel's lips attacking hers feverishly and pushing her back towards the bed.

"I want you, I've thought of nothing but you. Please Quinn." Rachel moved her lips to Quinn's neck and sucked at her pulse point. "I wasn't ready at Thanksgiving, but I am now."

"This isn't quite what I planned, I thought you wanted a few dates? And I wanted it to be all kinds of special." Quinn struggled to speak, she couldn't get over the feel of Rachel's lips on her skin, she wanted her so badly, but didn't want to mess this up by getting carried away.

Rachel pulled her head back and looked at Quinn. "Being with you, feeling like this, is special. Are you saying you don't want this?" Rachel pushed Quinn down onto the bed, not stopping her hands from working away at the buttons on her shirt.

"No, no, no." Quinn flipped Rachel onto her back and moved so that she was straddling her hips. "I so want this." Her lips met Rachel's before tracing a path down towards her neck and then her collar bone. She lifted Rachel's shirt over her head and swiftly unhooked her bra, pausing to admire the sight before her.

"You really are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." Quinn's said as she brought her mouth down and encased one of Rachel's hardened nipples with her lips, sucking it and flicking it with her tongue, her left hand kneading and caressing the other, while her hips ground into Rachel.

"So you are a top?" Quinn stopped and looked up at Rachel, a smirk firmly in place as she surrendered her hold on Rachel's nipple with a little nip that made Rachel groan with pleasure.

"Is that really a surprise?"

"I like to switch sometimes." Rachel mused.

"Good." Quinn grinned before running her hand through the valley between Rachel's breasts, across her stomach and stopping as she reached the waistband of her skirt, she tugged playfully and was met with a giggle and a nod from Rachel.

"But you're wearing too much." Quinn yielded as Rachel finished the job she'd started before, unbuttoning the rest of her shirt and throwing it to one side. She saw the look on Rachel's face when she discovered there was no bra inhibiting her view and moaned with pleasure when Rachel's lips attached to her nipple. The feel of Rachel's hands against her skin was driving her wild and she felt like she was about to lose control.

She let her hands explore the length of Rachel's back, scratching her nails along the tanned skin before bringing them back around to Rachel's stomach, her light touch made Rachel giggle and she committed the spot to memory, she wanted to see how her tongue would make Rachel react later. Her focus returned to Rachel's breasts, she couldn't resist the tender mounds of flesh and groaned as she squeezed them, her thumb flicked across the hardened nipples and Rachel mewled. All the while Rachel was busy running her tongue around Quinn's nipple, teasing her and making her wetter than she ever thought possible, the blood rushing between her thighs was becoming uncomfortable and she knew she either had to stop now or she'd not be able to.

"Are you sure?" she asked one final time, Rachel nodded at Quinn's question and she returned her attention to the insanely short skirt that Rachel had chosen to wear with her chauffeurs outfit. Slowly removing the skirt, before hooking her finger under the elastic of the black lace panties, quickly throwing them to one side. She crawled back up the bed, leaving a trail of kisses on Rachel's calf and then thigh as she made her way towards Rachel's heat. She looked up and saw brown orbs watching her with a hunger that Quinn could only imagine was mirrored in her own eyes.

Her focus then locked on her destination and she wet her lips at the very thought of finally being able to taste Rachel Berry. Running her tongue along Rachel's wet folds, relishing in her first taste of the other woman, she moaned with pleasure and licked again, causing Rachel to do the same.

"Please Quinn." Rachel called out.

"What do you need?"

"I need you, I need you inside me." Rachel's hips cantered up towards Quinn and she locked them down with her arm, before letting her tongue tease Rachel's clit, moving in slow, gentle circles. Her fingers were covered in Rachel wetness and Quinn couldn't believe she'd got Rachel so turned on, so quickly, but knew her own panties would soon be soaked if Rachel kept making those noises. Quinn slowly pushed one finger inside, feeling the warm, wet walls clench around it. "More." Rachel husked after a minute and Quinn added a second finger. Moving it in an out slowly, pushing deeper and deeper with each stroke. Her mind was fuzzy as she indulged in the sensation of being in Rachel, making Rachel whimper and moan at her touch. Rachel's hips began to thrust into her and she could feel the brunette was getting close, her mouth wrapped around the little bundle of nerves, making Rachel cry out again as she gently bit down, Quinn was in a lusty haze as she continued to pump in and out of Rachel with her hand, she'd never imagined fucking Rachel Berry would feel this good. She tried curling her fingers to seek out that magic spot and was rewarded as Rachel screamed out her name. Quinn hastened her movements, alternating between thrusting deep and curling, while her tongue lapped and licked at Rachel's clit. The noises that she was eliciting from Rachel were threatening to bring on her own orgasm and she knew it wouldn't take much now for her to let go.

"Come for me Rachel." She urged as Rachel's movements became more intent, with one final push she felt her come undone and Rachel's walls clamped around her fingers as she rode wave after wave of her orgasm, she ground down onto Rachel's thigh and felt her own orgasm fill her body. Quinn wanted it to last forever, but soon felt a hand in her hair pulling her up the bed, she met Rachel's eyes and wantonly licked her lips. "You taste so fucking good."

xxx

"My turn." Rachel grinned as she flipped Quinn onto her back, her hands eagerly working at the button on Quinn's jeans, while she allowed her lips to finally press against the abs she'd been admiring for the last few months. Rachel shuddered at how good it felt to finally touch Quinn, but she needed more, she wanted to be inside her. Finally she worked Quinn's jeans free and then swiftly removed her panties. Her fingers danced across the soft pale skin of the woman beneath her as she worked a path towards Quinn's heat. Her eyes focussed on her destination as she ran a finger through Quinn's wetness. Bringing it to her mouth and sucking off the juices, her eyes locked with Quinn's as she took her first taste and hummed. "So good."

"Fuck Rach, I need you, now!"

Rachel smirked before returning her hand to Quinn and entering her with two fingers, she moved in and out at a slow pace, but Quinn was needy and jerked desperately beneath her, trying to increase the friction, she was still on fire after watching Rachel come before and as Rachel wrapped her lips around one of Quinn's nipples, sucking it between her teeth, Quinn felt a coil tighten in her stomach and a white heat began to engulf her entire body. Rachel's hand was pumping faster now and Quinn yelped as a third finger thrust inside her, her hands flew to her sides and gripped at the bed sheets as the burning sensation unleashed itself and stars exploded behind her eyes. As her breathing returned to normal, she wrapped Rachel in her arms, pulling her close and gently caressing her skin, wanting to feel every part of her body, needing to be closer.

They lay together, touching and lazily getting to know each others bodies, before Quinn propped her head up on her hand and looked at Rachel with a glint in her eye.

"I want to do that again."

Rachel laughed, but was already on top of Quinn, moving down her body with slow kisses, before running her tongue through Quinn's wetness. Quinn bucked and Rachel darted her tongue inside, it wasn't long before she made her come again and not to be outdone, Quinn thrust three fingers into Rachel, filling her completely and soon Rachel screamed Quinn's name as her second orgasm ripped through her body. Their bodies glistened with beads of sweat as Quinn collapsed next to Rachel and closed her eyes.

"So can I take a nap before tonight?" Quinn asked sleepily.

"Mmm, just set an alarm for an hour, we can get away with an hour." Rachel relented her own fatigue taking over.

"Good, rest now, more sex later."

"Definitely more sex." Rachel murmured as she felt Quinn's arm wrap around her.

xxx

When they emerged from Rachel's room, freshly showered and changed, it was to find her Dads talking in the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas and a Happy Hanukkah." Quinn walked in and placed a kiss on both of their cheeks. She couldn't help but notice that Leroy was cold with her and it didn't take long to find out why.

"So you two are dating? I think perhaps this is something you should have told us, your Daddy is lucky he didn't have to hear the noises I was subjected to." Leroy huffed, he was still a little stunned from walking into the house earlier to hear his own daughter having sex.

"I may have known." Hiram spoke in a hushed tone and ducked when Leroy focussed his gaze on him.

"Well, you could have told me! How long's this been going on?"

Rachel rested her hand on Hiram's shoulder and addressed Leroy.

"I should have told you, but it's been a bit off and on, well mostly on and we like each other, but we aren't, um, it's early and new, I don't really know what we are, we're um dating?" Rachel stuttered over her words, her confidence fading under her fathers glare.

"Hmm very new from the sound of it." Leroy quipped.

"Oh god, what did you hear?" Rachel's hand flew to her mouth in shock. "No don't answer that." She added a second later.

"I kinda want to forget anyway." Leroy struggled to meet his daughters eye and instead settled on staring down Quinn.

Quinn was bright red, she'd just got to know this family and now she was mortified they'd heard all that went on earlier. Rachel was loud, Quinn had always thought she might be, but in the heat of the moment she'd got lost in the sounds and found herself joining in. She couldn't speak, she wanted to say something but words eluded her as she felt the weight of Leroy's stare on her.

"Daddy stop, you like Quinn."

"That was before I found out that she was having sex with my baby girl."

"She's still the same person, please don't do this. We, it was me. I made her."

"You what?" Leroy turned to Rachel in shock.

"No, I mean, I was the one. Oh god this is so complicated. I couldn't wait any longer and I'm sorry it was in your house, but I didn't want to wait until we got to Los Angeles just in case..."

"In case what?" Quinn found her voice and was now looking at Rachel curiously, wondering why it couldn't wait.

"Nothing, I just...I wanted it to be here, well not so much _here_ exactly, but somewhere we were happy and then it felt so right earlier. I wanted you and..."

Leroy coughed, clearly not comfortable with the direction Rachel was going.

"Sure." Quinn mumbled, but she knew Rachel meant not in L.A, not after the way Quinn had behaved last time and it stung. She didn't get to dwell on those thoughts as Hiram wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a reassuring hug that she willingly accepted.

"We love you Quinn, don't listen to Leroy."

"You should listen to me! I'm the only one around here that talks sense. This is still my house and although you are both adults now, I still think its inappropriate to make so much noise in another persons home." Leroy stopped and looked at the reddened faces in front of him, calming slightly when he saw Hiram roll his eyes. "but fine, if you must. I like you Quinn and I like that you seem to care a lot about Rachel. So I will back off, but just you make sure you take good care of my girl, or you'll have me to answer to."

"If she'll let me." Quinn replied and she noticed Rachel look at her confusedly before she quickly diverted her gaze.

"Then lets try to enjoy this holiday and no more threats, Leroy?" Hiram looked at his husband pointedly and Quinn was glad that she had escaped that encounter relatively unscathed.

"What's that smell?" Rachel asked as she moved to take Quinn's hand.

"I made the cookies, I gathered you were too busy." Leroy chided as he walked out of the kitchen.

xxx

They enjoyed a meal together that night after the carols had been sung. Rachel had been at her side the whole time and it had felt perfect, but Quinn couldn't stop thinking about what Rachel had said in the kitchen earlier and the obvious fact that she was still holding back her emotions.

"What's up?" Rachel dragged Quinn onto her bed later that night.

"Nothing, really. I'm just exhausted."

"My Dads fine, he doesn't really have a problem."

"It's not that."

"Then what?"

"I don't know Rachel, sometimes I just feel like you're keeping something from me."

Rachel took Quinn's hand. "I'm trying to give you all of me, but its not easy. Just give me some time please."

"You're still scared about being in the same city and that is hard for me because I can't think of anything better."

"Quinn..." Rachel took a deep breath before looking into her hazel eyes. "You're right, nothing sounds better. I love talking to you everyday, the fact that soon I'm going to be able to see you, it just kind of blows my mind."

"And we're going to be okay?"

"We are, I'm excited, I really am. It means we can actually date properly, its been fun the last few months, but it's not enough. I know you feel that too and earlier I couldn't even tell my Dads what we are, because we don't even know, so don't be mad at me."

"I'm not, I just thought..."

"Don't worry about the silly things that are going on in my head, they aren't important."

Quinn rested her head on the pillow, she wasn't convinced but she was too tired to argue and in too deep to care. Rachel's lips were moving gently against her forearm and it made her shiver. Arching her head up she hooked her hand around Rachel's neck and pulled her in for a lingering kiss, losing herself in the feel of the other woman's lips and forgetting her fears.

Rachel's hands began to roam and Quinn knew where she was headed.

"You'd better be quiet." She said as she moved her hand into Rachel's pants.

"I'm not sure I can be." Rachel gasped as Quinn cupped her core, she was already wet and needed her.

"Then maybe we shouldn't?" Quinn teased as her fingers ran through the damp material of Rachel's panties.

"Oh we should, we really should." Rachel grinned.

Rachel's hand moved between their bodies until she was cupping Quinn's heat. Her fingers poised. "But I want to come together this time."

"Fuck." Quinn couldn't resist that invitation as she pushed the panties to one side and entered Rachel with two long fingers, Rachel copied her actions and their bodies began moving rhythmically together.

Biting her own lip as she felt her orgasm build, she quickly moved her left hand and clamped it over Rachel's mouth, Rachel's eyes went wide for a second, but Quinn's fingers were now thrusting harder and her palm was slapping against her clit perfectly. She could feel Rachel's muscles tightening around her and rocked herself into Rachel's hand as they came together. Once she'd calmed her breathing Rachel rolled onto her back in a fit of laughter.

"Oh my god, you gagged me."

"I had no fucking choice." Quinn whispered harshly. "You can't help yourself, I bet Leroy is having nightmares about all the strange noises coming from in here."

"I don't want to think about my Dad, I just want to enjoy the fact that I, Rachel Berry, am having amazing sex with you, Quinn Fabray. That is hot."

"So hot!"

"Hold me?" Rachel asked, her voice softer now and Quinn shifted in the bed so that she could spoon the other woman.

They lay there in silence, holding onto each other as Quinn ran her fingers through Rachel's hair.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Quinn asked hesitantly. "I mean official. I know we have all this blurry stuff about dating and things, but I'm serious. I want this to go somewhere. So will you?"

Rachel stiffened slightly, she had her eyes closed, not that Quinn could see. Eventually she rolled over in Quinn's arms so that they were facing each other and looked into Quinn's, now worried, hazel eyes. "I'd love that." Her voice filled with emotion as she whispered her reply and Quinn captured her lips in a tender kiss.

"My girlfriend." She said through a smile and held Rachel a little tighter

xxx

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

**Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to you all.**

**I'll aim to have chapter 10 on here by New Year's Eve, but I'm going to try and enjoy my holidays now.**

**And if you wanted to get me something for Christmas? Well, a review would be nice...*hint***


	10. Chapter 10

Quinn got off the plane at JFK, it had been a whirlwind, she loved her time with Beth and she'd enjoyed a couple of days with her Mom, it was probably the best visit she'd had in years and it was obvious that it was because of Rachel. Her world had changed in the last few months, all thanks to that reunion they'd agreed on five years ago. Now she was ready to see in the New Year with the woman she thought she was falling in love with and she couldn't be happier. Rachel still phoned her everyday, but she missed not being close. Christmas had been amazing, being with Rachel properly was the most amazing experience of her life and now she wanted to hole up in Rachel's apartment as they saw in the New Year, but it wasn't to be. Rachel was taking her to a party, at first it didn't sound too bad, but then she found out it was at Jesse St James'. She didn't say anything, but knew it was going to be a challenging evening.

New York was cold and she shivered as she stepped out of the taxi and onto the sidewalk, picking up her bag, she wrapped her free arm around herself trying to ward off the bitter chill. A minute later and she was engulfed in the warmth of Rachel's apartment and the comfort of her girlfriends arms.

"I missed you." She sighed into Rachel's hair.

"So much," Rachel gripped a little tighter. "how was my Mom?"

"I didn't mention us, I thought that was something you'd want to do?"

"Yeah sure, someday, maybe. How about your Mom and most importantly how is Beth?"

"Great really, seeing her was different and Beth was lovely. I miss her."

"It must be weird."

"I'm just glad I worked things out with Shelby. I'll never forget how you helped me in senior year, I was so close to messing everything up."

"Do you ever think about having kids again?" Rachel asked absently, not registering the weight of her question until she looked up and saw the look on Quinn's face. "oh, um, I wasn't meaning with me...it's just because we were talking about Beth, and well it's still new this thing with us, so no I wasn't asking because of us, but just that I wondered and now I should probably stop talking, you should stop me talking."

Quinn obliged by placing a soft kiss to Rachel's runaway mouth.

"And the answer is yes. One day. I think a kid or two sounds nice. I want a family. I've always wanted one and to feel I belonged, to be a Mom."

Rachel nodded, a smile grew across her face and she tried to stop it by biting her lip. "Me too."

"So now we've worked out we want kids, we should probably plan the wedding." Quinn jokingly poked Rachel in the ribs and it led to a full blown tickle fest, which only ended when Rachel's hands landed on Quinn's ass.

Just as she was about to get Rachel out of her clothes, the door swung open.

"Oh my eye, my eyes!" Kim screamed dramatically as she walked into the room. It didn't stop her from taking a seat on the couch, waiting for the couple to readjust their clothing. Quinn felt like a little kid as she found herself sitting opposite the strange woman, waiting for her to speak.

"Kim, this is Quinn." Rachel finally found her tongue.

"And you're gay? You're both gay? That's something I would have liked to have known before I caught you fornicating."

"We were not." Rachel protested.

"You were about to." Kim corrected.

"Maybe so, but really you're not my mother!"

"Fair enough, but this isn't really a good move right now. I could spin it, but I don't know Rachel, being a lesbian doesn't tend to lend itself to big contracts, not in Hollywood anyway."

"I'm not a lesbian." Rachel snapped and Quinn turned to look at her, her eyebrow quirked, making Rachel shiver at memories of the past. "I mean, I don't know, but it isn't important what label you use and anyway Quinn's an actor too, she can't be seen with me, so not an issue." she surmised, hoping it would stop Quinn from looking at her like that.

"I can be seen with you." Quinn interjected.

"Not as my girlfriend, lets not do this now." Rachel stood and turned her back to Quinn. "Kim?"

"Keeping it quiet works for me, I just need to know. I can cover up some things, so make sure you are discreet."

Quinn groaned and Rachel reached back and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I think we can manage that, now tell me why you're here?"

"Rachel, darling, I wanted to wish you a happy new year, oh and I have your travel itinerary ready for next week. I managed to get you a self-catering apartment for the duration of filming."

"Fantastic, I couldn't live without cooking."

"I know and that's what I told them. I'll be over in week two and then whenever you need me or when there's promotional work to be done. Is that going to be okay?"

"Yes, I'll have Quinn to show me around anyway."

"You're based in Hollywood?" Kim finally turned her attention to Quinn.

"Um..." Quinn nodded, still not sure where she fitted in this scene.

"Excellent, just be quiet. I can get you a list of safe spots to hang out together. To be honest you shouldn't have a problem, it's not like either of you are that well known. No offense Rachel, but those Hollywood types don't know what a Tony is."

"Quinn's kind of well-known."

"Kinda?"

"Lead actor on a CBS hit."

"Oh, seriously I should probably watch that shit, but I love the theatre, don't ask me why Rachel is leaving because I have no idea, but if it works for you Quinn." Kim shrugged dismissively.

Quinn just shook her head, Rachel had been right, she didn't like Kim, but she could see she was the perfect agent for Rachel.

xxx

Rachel led Quinn around New York for the rest of the afternoon, she loved to walk in Central Park and Quinn enjoyed the fact that she could hold her girlfriends hand without a care in the world, her hat and winter coat obscured enough of her features so that no one would recognize her even if she stood under the billboard for _A Madness_ but even so, Rachel had insisted on taking a photo and tweeting it and Quinn willingly played along.

New Year's Eve was upon them and Quinn loved that she was with Rachel, she'd barely celebrated the last few years, it was 4 years ago that she'd last gone to a party and the next day she had woken up in a strangers house with little recollection of the night before. It had been enough of a reason to clean up her act and she'd began to focus more on her career than on her partying. Now she felt like she'd got a new start and as Rachel poured the champagne she readily accepted a glass.

Two hours later and they were in the throngs of Jesse's party. It was loud, brash and Quinn had to admit it was also pretty good fun.

xxx

Quinn left Rachel and went in search of the bathroom, it was on her way back that she overheard her girlfriend talking to Jesse.

"You and Fabray? I can't believe you finally tapped that."

"She's hot right?" Quinn grinned at Rachel's answer, but didn't make her presence known.

"A very pretty girl indeed," Jesse drawled as he wrapped an arm around Rachel. "and now it makes sense why I didn't get anywhere with you in high school...ouch" he grumbled as Rachel punched him playfully in the arm.

"She's amazing."

"But something is wrong? I can tell. Why aren't you all cat calendars and picnics in the park?"

"It's winter."

"That wouldn't normally stop you." He pushed.

"True. Something just feels off and I guess I'm just not sure yet."

"About how you feel? or how she feels?"

"We like each other, a lot, but...well it's going to be really hard, she's still Quinn Fabray."

"I thought this was all about clean slates and second chances?"

"It is, but I don't know who the real Quinn is yet. When I get to L.A she might change again and on top of that I have to be someone I'm not. I can't take her out and hold her hand. I don't know how I feel about that and then there's my career too."

"Have you talked to Quinn about it?"

"I don't think that's a good idea, she gets defensive. Last time I was there she made us hide and we went miles out of town to a half abandoned restaurant, it was awful and I don't think I can live like that, but then I think it's Quinn and maybe I can, but..."

Quinn flinched as she heard Rachel describe that night. She wanted out of there right this minute, but found that she couldn't move as Jesse continued.

"So maybe your fling is best left in Lima? She isn't the girl you crushed on at school anymore."

"It's not a fling, we had sex." Rachel blurted out.

"That's quick for you? She must be amazing, I seem to recall it took at least 7 dates and three failed attempts and you still wouldn't give it up for me." Quinn cringed at the revelation and imagined Rachel did too before Jesse continued. "but tell me, was it good?"

"She's Quinn Fabray." Rachel answered succinctly and Quinn could tell she was smiling as she spoke, but then there was a pause and it made Quinn's heart thump hard in her chest. "and maybe I did rush into it, but I just really wanted to be with the Quinn I've been seeing the last few months and not the one that plays a part for her agent and her career."

"Hmm was that a good idea? I mean I'm all for playing games and things but did it make it all okay and did the beacon flash saying that Quinn's the one?" Jesse asked dryly.

"I...she..." Rachel stuttered and Quinn could feel a tightening in her chest. "I can't say having sex made my head any clearer. I don't regret it, but I wish I'd taken it slower but then I don't because if we hadn't taken that leap then, well maybe it would never happen and I'd spend the next five years wondering what it'd be like to be with her, so at least I have that. God that sounds so wrong."

"You're just a sex pest." Jesse joked.

xxx

Quinn had heard enough, she made her way through the crowd and just as she walked towards the door she felt a tug at her arm.

"Hey, did you get lost?" Rachel gripped onto her and pulled her back towards the party.

"I was going to get some air."

"It's nearly midnight, come on."

"So that we can stand near each other and smile?" Quinn snapped and Rachel froze.

"What's going on, baby please?"

"Baby?" Quinn laughed off the term of endearment. "I don't want to stand here in a room full of strangers wishing I could kiss you, knowing I can't because so far I've had ten people recognize me and four make propositions."

"What four? Did you tell them your girlfriend is fierce?" Rachel questioned nervously, she knew Quinn was mad, but tried to keep things light.

"Does it matter?" Quinn angrily tried to walk away. Rachel pulled her back.

"Stop, I don't know what is wrong with you, but I want to be with you, here with you, now."

"I don't. I want to be somewhere I can kiss you at midnight, somewhere I feel safe and not spied on, somewhere..."

Rachel grabbed Quinn's arm and led her through the throng of people, she didn't turn back to look at her girlfriend just pulled her along until she found what she was looking for, walking into the room and closing the door after Quinn.

"Somewhere safe?"

'Rachel, please." Quinn pleaded, she felt so deflated but couldn't tear herself away, Rachel's eyes were on her and she wanted to just forget what she'd heard, she wanted Rachel to make it all feel okay again.

"I want you to be happy. I want to kiss you at midnight." Rachel said as she stepped closer to Quinn, resting her hands on the blondes shoulders.

"You wanted to be with all your friends. I can't take that from you."

"You aren't taking anything, trust me. I'm with the person I want to be with."

The crowd outside the room began chanting. 10...9...

"Am I though? Are you really sure?"

7...6...

"More than anything."

3...2...

Quinn closed her eyes, she couldn't work out what to believe anymore.

1...Happy New Year

Rachel stepped on tiptoes pulling Quinn into a kiss that melted all Quinn's senses. She allowed the kiss to deepen, losing her mind to the languid strokes of Rachel's tongue in her mouth. Moaning as Rachel's hands squeezed her butt and pulled her in so that their bodies were flush together.

"Happy New Year." Quinn whispered as she rested her forehead against the brunettes.

"Happy New Year, Quinn." Rachel hushed back, placing a chaste kiss to Quinn's lips. "This really is the only place I want to be."

"The only place..." Quinn repeated despondently. The memory of Rachel's words cutting into her again.

"With you."

"Here, right here. New York, Lima, but not California. California is where I turn into some kind of beast that scares you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing, I need to go." Quinn turned and walked out of the room, collecting her coat and making her way out onto the street, Rachel hot on her heels.

"You won't get a taxi."

"I'll walk."

"I'm coming with you."

"Fine." Quinn snapped as she carried on at a fast pace.

xxx

Rachel walked a step behind, she had no idea why Quinn had turned prickly so suddenly and decided she didn't want to find out while they were out on the cold streets of New York. Twenty minutes later and they were safely in Rachel's front door before she finally turned to face the blonde and allowed her frustrations to bubble to the surface.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Quinn flinched at Rachel's outburst, but quickly composed herself. "I heard what you said to Jesse...what you said about having sex with me to be sure."

"It's not like that. I'm just worried about when I start filming."

"Why are you so worried about L.A? We get to be together."

"What if you freak out again or something?" Rachel whispered, but the impact of the words still smacked Quinn hard in the face.

"Because of last time?"

"Yes." Rachel grimaced as she answered, knowing that she couldn't not be honest, even if it was causing Quinn to look so pained.

Quinn didn't say anything, she just shook her head and sat down.

"Please Quinn, talk to me."

"I just can't."

"I needed to be sure, but I didn't want to wait until we were faced with all those problems, I wanted to know now, what is so wrong with that?"

"And do you? Did having sex with me make all the answers clear, did it make you feel good?"

"Quinn, it was amazing. I wanted you, I still want you. I don't know why you are so angry."

"You just can't see it can you? I feel used, like you were trying me out. Give it a go and see. I feel things Rachel."

"I feel things too."

"Then let go."

"I don't know what you mean." Rachel tried to turn away but Quinn gripped her sides and made her face her.

"Let go to those feelings and be with me."

"I was."

"No, you had sex with me. You haven't given yourself to me. You are too scared and you keep blaming it all on this stupid thing I did in L.A. and we both know that's not what is wrong. You need to work it out, because I can't keep letting you do this to me. I want you. I want us to be together, but you can't keep me at arms length because your scared of getting hurt at some point you need to open up, let go and trust me with your heart or we'll never work."

"And you trust me with your heart?"

"You shouldn't have to ask that."

Rachel sat down in a heap on the floor, it was too much to digest, her head was reeling from the words Quinn had said, mostly because they all seemed to ring true.

"I don't know what to say, I'm your girlfriend, I want to be your girlfriend Quinn, I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't."

"Then be it, but don't keep pushing me away and blaming it on one bad date! I took you to a restaurant I like, to somewhere I knew had a great vegan selection, somewhere I thought _you'd_ like. Fuck Rachel, I thought you would like it. I wasn't trying to hide us, we weren't even an us, but yeah I have to be discreet, so I was nervous and I can't take that back now. If you want this to work then you have to give me a chance. Think about it, you know what I want."

Quinn disappeared into the bedroom, leaving Rachel to think.

"I'll see you in a few days." She said as she walked back into the living room.

"You're going?" Rachel looked up to see Quinn's bags placed by the front door.

"I have to. I can't sit here and wait until you figure it out. I have to protect my heart too. I need to..." Quinn couldn't hold her tears back any longer, she felt some comfort as Rachel's arms wrapped around her, holding her close.

"I'm sorry." Rachel whispered.

"Me too." Quinn pulled away and grabbed her bags, she looked back to Rachel one last time before pulling the door closed. She hated leaving, but knew it was for the best. She just hoped Rachel understood and that she figured things out soon.


	11. Chapter 11

Rachel woke to an empty bed, her hand reached out and played at the cold sheets beside her, she sighed and buried her head into the pillow that had been Quinn's, she could barely pick up her scent, but it was there. She groaned and rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling, her thoughts as always, consumed with Quinn. She'd messed up, that much was obvious, but she didn't know how to make any of it right again. Still a little stunned that Quinn had walked out, she made her way into the kitchen, checking her answer machine on the way, her Dads voices filled the room, wishing her and Quinn a happy new year and it only compounded her sorrow. She made a fresh pot of coffee, only to scald her tongue in her eagerness to drink it. 'I will not cry.' She told herself, but a tear had already made it's way down her cheek. She defiantly wiped it away and picked up her cell.

"Hey, you free?" she asked.

"I am, but why I should be available after you ran out on my party is another matter Ms Berry." Jesse scolded her.

"Meet me in 30, the coffee shop on the corner?"

"Sure, you okay?" Jesse's asked confusedly. "I thought it was all Quinn for the next few days?"

"I'll tell you when I get there." Rachel said before ending the call, she rushed to get changed and out onto the street, she didn't want to be in the apartment a minute longer, it just felt so empty without Quinn there today and that fact surprised her the most.

"I want to know _everything_." Jesse demanded the second he saw her, he was sat at their usual table with Rachel's coffee ready and waiting and she mouthed 'thank you.' Before taking a sip.

"She left," Rachel couldn't hide her sorrow. "went nuts and then left. I'm guessing she got a flight or a hotel, shit I have no idea, but she told me to think things over and left, I should call her..." Rachel scrambled in her bag for her cell but Jesse reached out and stopped her.

"What the hell did you do?"

"She heard me talking to you, what did I say Jesse?" she pleaded.

Jesse grimaced and then placed his hand on top of Rachel's. "Well, you pretty much said that you had sex with her in Lima because you needed to prove to yourself that she was worth being with, that's how I interpreted it anyway, and then you also said that it hadn't proved anything."

"Fuck." Rachel slumped back in her chair. "I didn't mean that. I really and I mean _really_ like her."

"Then fight for her Rachel." Jesse stood in a display of camaraderie, but she knew she was being mocked and just rolled her eyes at him.

"I don't know what to do."

Jesse sat forward and took both of Rachel's hands in his. "Do you want her? Do you love her?"

Rachel tried not to make eye contact, she wasn't ready to answer those questions even to herself, but a firm squeeze as Jesse tightened his grip made her look up. "I care about her a lot. She makes me feel so good and yes, I do want her."

"I so don't need to know about your sex life." Jesse joked.

"I didn't mean that, but yeah that too." Rachel couldn't help but smirk. "She's Quinn Fabray, the girl I wanted as a friend throughout high school, she's now a Hollywood hotshot and wanted by everyone, yet she likes me. It's a lot to get my head around."

"And?" Jesse pushed.

"I'm so scared." Rachel whispered, her own honesty ripped through her.

"Why? You are Rachel Berry, you know what you want and you get it."

"It's not so simple when it comes to Quinn, nothing is and it never has been. We did a dance at school and it was a mess. She had Finn, I had Finn. Now it turns out all we both wanted was each other and that just seems crazy."

"So Q is right, you do need to figure some things out."

"I do and I don't. I know more than I want to, I know I lo..I like her and I know that she makes me feel so good, that hearing her voice each day has been the thing I have lived for these last few months and I know that the five years in between, well I missed her. Not everyday, but if I thought about feeling sad it was her. It was Quinn that I missed and then that letter came and I had no choice but to go and see if what had been in my head was actually real."

"And was it?"

"Yes."

"So why are you sat here talking to me instead of flying to the West coast and kissing and making up with Grace Kelly?"

"Because..."

"Yes?"

"Because she's still Quinn and that terrifies me."

"I don't believe you."

"Fuck you."

"You won't! That's the problem." Jesse quipped before holding Rachel's gaze. "You are a passionate woman, stop being so scared of it."

"What if she..."

"Doesn't feel the same? I think she does, but do you need proof?"

"Maybe, I know she said all the right things, but saying them is one thing, showing is another and when I went to see her, well she was so different Jesse, she was guarded and I felt insecure and I can't help that I felt that, I wish I hadn't but it was there and I don't know if that's how she will always be."

"You'll have to find out, you can't just not try because of someone putting up walls. From what you've told me, Quinn is the queen of defenses so you will have a lot of walls to climb before she falls in love with you."

"I..." Rachel closed her eyes, she knew Jesse was right. "Well, the 2000 mile wall is soon going to disappear, so maybe that's a start."

"It is and if Quinn doesn't sweep you off your feet when you arrive, well then you'll have to be sure to wear lots of short skirts."

"Huh?"

"Rachel honey, Quinn Fabray has been ogling your legs for years, even I noticed it all those years ago, I just didn't realise why."

"She did?" Rachel grinned at the thought of Quinn checking her out and made a mental note to pack some short skirts and denim shorts.

As they left the coffee shop Jesse hooked his arm in Rachel's.

"And proof would help?" he asked just as they were waiting to cross the road.

Rachel's brows knitted together at his question. "of?"

"Quinn's romantic intentions...a bit of jealousy could do the trick?" He mused as Rachel pursed her lips, still not sure what he was on about.

"It'd help to know what she felt I suppose...and she always seemed the jealommphhh" Rachel was cut short as Jesse's lips suddenly met hers. The kiss left her stunned, when she realized what was happening she quickly pulled away, using her hands to push him off but he just laughed and it only made her mad.

"What the hell?" she screamed at him, but her words were lost in the New York traffic as a bus screeched to a halt at the stop sign, before she could berate him further Jesse had grabbed her arm and pulled her across the road.

"Just wanted to prove something." He said smugly when they got to the other side, ignoring Rachel's flapping hands and outcry as he continued to walk.

"I don't want that, not with you."

"But with Quinn? Maybe I just did you a favor." Jesse smirked. He'd seen the pap from across the street and knew a kiss between him and Rachel would make it to print. He knew he was was hot and Rachel was an up and coming star, so if Quinn Fabray needed a push, then he was sure this would work.

xxx

Rachel couldn't be bothered to make sense of Jesse so she left him on the corner and went back to her apartment, she began to pack her bags, but her mind never strayed far from thoughts of Quinn. Talking to Jesse had helped, she knew she couldn't not be around Quinn, she liked her too much. He was annoying and the kiss was unwarranted but he did help her see sense, she just wished she'd seen some before she'd let Quinn walk out of her apartment the night before.

Rachel had wanted to be close to Quinn for so long that she thought she'd rushed into things, she'd always waited in her past relationships, but with Quinn she just felt she needed to be with her, the desire she felt was as frightening as it was amazing. The last few months had been the best she'd ever known, but their time together had been so sparse and it only made the interactions incredibly intense and it was because of this that Rachel hadn't wanted to trust that her feelings were genuine, it didn't make sense to feel so strongly about someone so soon, yes she had known Quinn for years, but this development in their relationship was four months old and the actual time spent together in that time amounted to mere days.

Maybe she had wanted it too much and now she had messed things up, the thought of not being with Quinn hurt and that was enough for Rachel to know she had to get to the West coast and make it right.

xxx

It was another two days before her flight, Kim had grilled her before she left, but she barely paid attention to what the woman said, she had two things to do and she could easily handle the work side of things. Quinn was another matter entirely and she wasn't about to let Kim in on the latest developments, knowing it would only lead to a conversation or criticism she wasn't ready to hear. She put New York out of her mind as she made her way out of LAX and was glad that Kim had booked her a car, with someone on hand to help her with her excessive amounts of luggage.

After an hour stuck in traffic on the 405 she was finally at her rented accommodation, after finding places to store her things, she took a long hot shower and then made the call. It had been three days since she saw Quinn and she'd not been in touch in that time. It was the first time they'd not spoken on a daily basis, but she hoped a bit of time would have been good for them both. Quinn had been mad and she'd also been right. Rachel didn't want to make contact until she knew she could answer Quinn's questions and she also knew she couldn't do that on a phone, not when she was so far away. Quinn picked up after the third ring.

"Hey." Her voice filled Rachel's ears and made her smile.

"I'm here." Rachel announced boldly but was met with silence. "Maybe we could talk?" she added hesitantly.

"I can do something tomorrow." Quinn was short and Rachel tried to ignore it.

"That would be lovely, do you want to come here? I can cook?"

"Yeah, send me the address. What time? I should finish on set by 6pm."

"Be here about 7.30pm. It'll be nice to see you again."

"OK."

"Quinn?"

"Rachel..."

"I know we parted on bad terms and maybe I should have called you, but you said to think about it and..."

"I see you did that." Quinn replied curtly.

"I did." Rachel was confused why Quinn was being so off.

"I saw."

"Saw what?"

"Nothing. I'll be there tomorrow. You can tell me to my face. Night."

"Night..." Rachel replied but the line was already dead.

xxx

Rachel spent the next day trying to familiarize herself with the city, but it wasn't happening. She'd collected her hire car that morning and felt brave enough to take it for a spin, mostly because she was too scared to use public transport, it wasn't as hectic as New York, but she was still a little jittery and a few drivers had honked their horns while she did some questionable maneuvers, but finally she managed to get some groceries and chose a good bottle of red for their dinner, then remembered Quinn would probably drive and she didn't want to be presumptuous that she'd stay, so she put it back and decided tonight would probably better be done sober anyway.

Tales of the never ending sunshine were soon forgotten when she got caught in a torrential downpour just as she got back to her place, rushing to and from the car, she ended up soaked to the bone and shivering. Drawing a long hot bath, she climbed in and let it wash her thoughts away.

An hour later and she was busy getting the dinner ready. At 7pm her nerves kicked in and she regretted not getting the wine. By 7.45pm she was pacing the small living area and at 8pm she was collapsed on the couch, trying not to let her anxiety consume her.

Finally at 8.06pm there was a knock at the door and she ran to open it.

"Hi." Quinn half smiled as Rachel opened the door.

"I was getting worried." Rachel took the wine that Quinn had brought and was eternally grateful, as she rushed to the kitchen and rummaged for a corkscrew.

"Filming ran on and then the traffic...I'm sorry I'm a bit late." Quinn shrugged as she followed Rachel.

"This is a really nice bottle." Rachel poured a glass and began to pour a second, but Quinn's hand moved over the empty glass that Rachel had placed on the table.

"Not for me, I just thought I should bring something, but I'm driving and don't want a late night and stuff."

"Stuff." Rachel mumbled. "Soda? Coffee?"

"A coffee would be great, I can barely keep my eyes open this week. Mmm that smells good." Quinn gravitated towards the stove as Rachel lifted the lid on the saucepan.

"I hope it tastes good." Rachel offered Quinn the spoon to taste and as a little sauce dripped onto her chin, she couldn't resist wiping it away, Quinn slightly leant into her touch before closing her eyes and Rachel didn't miss the pained expression that ghosted across her features, it was quickly replaced by a fake smile and Rachel felt her heart drop.

"I love your cooking." Quinn said through the smile and Rachel turned away. She stirred the sauce and then took a large swig from the glass of wine she'd just poured. Quinn was obviously still upset with her, Rachel had noted there had been no kiss as she greeted her, but this was just the start of the evening and she knew she had some making up to do.

"It's ready, I've just been keeping it warm, but we could talk and then..."

"No, lets eat. We don't want to ruin it and I'm starved, I only had a salad at lunch."

"Great, I've cooked a lot." Rachel topped up her wine before she served their dinner. Quinn barely spoke as she ate, just words of praise or thanks, Rachel decided to play along.

"Delicious. Thanks for inviting me." Quinn said as she cleared her plate.

"Quinn can we stop?" She'd finally reached her limit of platitudes and knew it was time to say something.

"Stop what?"

"Fine." Rachel huffed. "I'm sorry you heard what I said, I'm sorry I did the things I did and I wish you hadn't run out of New York, but we're here now and I want to make things right, I have so much to say, so many things..."

"That's just super Rach." Quinn said sardonically.

"Quinn, I'm trying to make things better, why are you being so difficult?" Quinn just scowled at her. "Look, I know I didn't call but really what is your problem?"

"My problem? Fuck Rachel." Quinn turned her face away, before looking back, her anger still visible even though she had tried to hide it. "I said figure out your feelings and you sure did."

"I did." Rachel grinned, but it soon faded when she was met with Quinn's dry laugh.

"I can see." Quinn paused and took a deep breath before looking at Rachel solemnly. "Look I'm happy to still be friends and I want to be around for you when you are in L.A. because I know how empty and lonely it can be. I still care for you deeply, but I can't carry on being messed about. So it's best we just forget and move on."

Rachel felt like she'd been hit in the stomach, her hands moved to the place she'd thought she'd taken the blow, gripping it as she tried to make sense of Quinn's rebuff. She tried to swallow the lump that had quickly formed in her throat but struggled, Quinn's eyes were locked on her, cold as ice, almost. Rachel could see something flicker behind the hazel glare, Quinn's acting still had the same flaws as when they were younger, she reached out her hand but Quinn swiftly removed hers from the table.

"I can't forget and move on, Quinn please, don't do this. I wanted to make things right. I spent the last few days in New York figuring it all out and I wanted to wait to tell you until I was face to face."

"I already know, everyone knows."

"What are you talking about?"

"Why do you insist on playing games? Do you think you can just do that behind my back?"

"Do what?"

"Rachel?" Quinn pleaded, but Rachel just looked at her confusedly, she shook her head in resignation. "I saw the pictures."

Quinn stood from the table and reached into her bag, pulling out a copy of the magazine that had been haunting her. She threw it onto the kitchen table, stopping to look at Rachel's face as she took in the image in front of her, before turning on her heel and making her way towards the front door, slamming it shut, she walked out for the second time in the last few days, leaving Rachel in a stunned silence. The photo of Jesse kissing her in New York staring back at her from the table under the heading _'Broadway Lovers share a walk and kiss on New Years Day'_.

xxx


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Re-upload. No idea what went on with fanfiction last night, but I didn't get my usual notifications, so maybe you didn't too. Sorry if you did, this is just the same chapter with this note added. Not even sure if it is working properly yet as got some strange things going on, but maybe this is worth a try.

* * *

><p>"Fuck." Rachel screamed as she finally managed to lift the magazine off the table, staring at the image didn't make it go away and now she was stuck reading the words underneath. She knew she shouldn't be surprised at how easily they strung a bunch of lies together, but it still got to her. She couldn't imagine what Quinn had thought when she saw it, the picture was a moment that a camera had captured and it didn't tell the truth at all. It looked romantic, it looked like she was kissing him and she knew that wasn't what happened, it was a shot of a moment that didn't happen. The pictures accompanying it were of Jesse laughing as they walked along and an old shot of them cuddling back when she first met up with him in New York.<p>

Her shock finally shifted when she heard Quinn's car make a hasty exit and realized that she was now stuck in her apartment alone. Looking at her empty wine glass she cursed the fact that she'd drunk too much to follow Quinn to her place, but she wasn't giving in. Instead she called a taxi, she wasn't going to let this one go, not again, they were both getting too good at running away and Rachel knew she had to change that pattern.

The rain was still falling heavily as the taxi weaved through the traffic and it was less than thirty minutes later that she found herself stood on a strange doorstep, outside a building that matched the address she had for Quinn.

Quinn answered on the third knock and Rachel was a little shocked at her disheveled appearance. She had changed into some baggy sweatpants and a loose hanging top that just didn't fit with her usual vision of Quinn, but it was Quinn and even dressed like this she looked good. At closer inspection she could clearly see that Quinn had been crying, but the tears were gone and now the blonde just scowled at her, not saying a word. Rachel didn't wait to be invited in, she just pushed past Quinn and into the apartment, it was her first ever visit and this is not how she'd hoped it'd go down, but she had to do something, leaving Quinn to calm down wasn't an option anymore, waiting in New York for three days had been a mistake, she knew that now. She couldn't believe a photo was coming between them, tonight was meant to be about making it all right, about telling Quinn she was ready to let go, that she was ready to be with her and now she was looking at the woman she wanted and all she could see was the pain she'd caused her and it made her want to wrap her in her arms and hope that it would all disappear, but she knew it wouldn't fix things, not this time.

"It's not what you think." Her voice was shaky and she desperately tried to calm it with measured breaths, but it wasn't working despite all her years of training and voice control.

"I don't want to do this now, please Rachel." Quinn sounded broken and it made Rachel ache inside.

"No. I'm not doing this again, we both keep running off, you have to let me explain."

"I don't _have_ to do anything. I _need_ to stop letting you hurt me." Quinn snapped and Rachel shuddered, before regaining her focus.

"Quinn." Rachel whispered her name as she moved closer to the blonde, hesitantly she lifted her hand to Quinn's face and when Quinn didn't flinch she gently wiped away the mascara stain from her cheek. "I don't want to hurt you."

Quinn pulled her face away and stared at the picture she'd framed after the reunion. "I knew letting my past back in would only mean pain."

"This is silly, please Quinn. He kissed me! I didn't kiss back, it's Jesse! You know I don't feel anything for him."

"Why? Why would he think he could kiss you? It was the morning after I left, it didn't take you long..."

"I went to see him, I told him what happened and he told me I was stupid and he was right. I talked and he listened and then for some crazy reason he grabbed me and kissed me, it was not consential, not at all. I told him to back off, it's only Jesse, you really have nothing to be jealous of."

"Wow." Quinn said in disbelief. "Just answer me this, how can I trust you?"

"Because." Rachel shook her head. "maybe you can't, but I'm telling the truth. The truth is I like you, I always have and yes I've been too scared to let that take over. I know how reckless I am when I develop deep feelings for someone and that terrifies me. The girl you knew at McKinley is not someone I want to be again. My focus has to be my career, I nearly let my dreams go because of Finn, thinking he was something special, I was really just a girl that was desperate to be accepted. I lost my virginity to make him feel better when he lost out on his dreams! It was a stupid mistake and being around you reminds me of all of that, of all the mistakes I made at high school."

Quinn didn't move a muscle, she was half contemplating closing the small space between them, taking Rachel in her arms and making it all fade away with one touch, she wasn't angry but as she watched the brunette she had one question. "and you think I'm one of your mistakes?"

"No." Rachel looked up at Quinn, startled at the question, that was not what she'd meant to say at all, but Quinn's eyes were soft and Rachel felt safe when she looked in them now.

"And what if I wouldn't let you do that? What if your dreams mattered to me too, what if they always had?"

Rachel wet her lips nervously, sucking them between her teeth as her heart swelled with the words Quinn spoke. "My honest answer?"

Quinn nodded and Rachel nervously continued. "That you feel that, that you cared like that well it scares me and excites me. I want this thing with us to be all the things I've dreamt of, I really do. I don't want it to end, not over Jesse. I want to try, I want to know what we are and I'm sorry that I turned to him...Jesse is my friend and..."

"Don't." Quinn broke away and moved to the fridge, slowly she fixed herself a drink, the last thing she wanted right now was to hear about Jesse.

"Can we start again?" Rachel moved behind her and took the bottle from Quinn's hand, before resting it on the side, she let her fingers run over Quinn's forearm, gently stroking the pale skin before meeting hazel eyes and feeling the air sucked from her lungs at the sadness she now saw.

Quinn had been focussed on Rachel's movements, but then when their eyes locked she felt like her heart was being pulled from her chest, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know. I feel so many things right now and I'm scared that if you aren't ready this time then it'll be me that gets hurt again."

"Let me try, we can take it slower? I think we took a giant leap and I didn't realize it was just so big so soon, its...Just let me take you to dinner? Tomorrow?"

Quinn shook her head before looking up and meeting Rachel's gaze, her heart felt so heavy and she just wanted Rachel to take it and make it okay again.

"Tomorrow." She nodded her agreement and Rachel grinned back. "but this is not what it was. I'm not your girlfriend, I can't pretend that you didn't say those things, that you didn't mean them." She added and the grin on Rachel's face soon disappeared.

"Okay." Rachel agreed sadly, feeling a little awkward that she was stuck in Quinn's home. "I can do that, but Quinn?"

"Yes?"

"I want you to know that I really care about you and that having sex with you, well I wasn't using you. I wanted to be with you for the right reasons, I just let the wrong ones lead me and it was the wrong ones that I told Jesse about. The truth is I couldn't stop myself. I lost control and blamed it on my own insecurities about us because that was easier than accepting how much I wanted you, how happy you have made me these last few months and what we did was right, it was and I shouldn't have freaked out."

"I...uh...Rachel maybe it was a mistake? It was definitely too soon."

"Do you regret it? Because I don't. I can't remember what I said to Jesse, but I know what I didn't say. I didn't say that it was special and amazing and something that felt right, like I was always meant to be with you. Ugh I don't know how to say this without sounding like a sex fiend." Rachel sighed in frustration, not sure if she was getting through to Quinn or not.

"I don't regret it. I couldn't. But maybe for now we should try being friends? I need to learn a way to control myself around you and..."

"That sounds a bit dull."

"It does." Quinn laughed but it soon faded away. "Honestly I don't know how it'll work. I feel bruised, but tomorrow...tomorrow we can try." Quinn shrugged.

"Thank you." Rachel let out a breath and closed her eyes, she'd thought she'd messed up her chance with Quinn and was glad that she still had something to hold on to.

"I'll call you a cab." Quinn picked the handset up and Rachel quickly reached out to stop her.

"Can I get a coffee first?" she asked hopefully, not wanting their time together to end so soon after they'd made some kind of resolution. Quinn nodded her consent before making a pot. They sat at the kitchen table as it brewed, neither spoke until two cups were poured and placed on the table in front of them.

"I'm sorry I walked out on New Year's Eve." Quinn said as she watched Rachel idly stir her drink.

"Don't be, I deserved it."

"You really did." Quinn laughed lightly and Rachel joined in.

"So at least we both agree on that." Rachel added. "but can I just ask something?"

"What?"

"If you are a star, why is this place so drab?" Rachel gestured to the room they were sat in, but Quinn knew she meant the whole apartment, it was a rental and she'd never really bothered to make it anything special. She hadn't seen a need to.

Shaking her head and biting her lip didn't stop the smile from creeping across her face. "Still the same Rachel."

"Oh, god sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"But its true, I don't really care for it, this is just where I sleep."

"It should be a home."

"It's not. I've not...home isn't four walls, not to me." Quinn bit her lip again but this time it was to stop a sadness engulfing her as she remembered when she'd last felt at home, wishing that it was still easy, but knowing it no longer could be.

"I'm sorry." Rachel mumbled thinking she'd taken things too far.

"It's not your fault, life just didn't work that way for me." Quinn tried to sound casual but her voice betrayed her.

"Well, maybe one day, or I could..." Rachel stopped, she didn't want to start planning Quinn's future and perhaps redecorating her home was too much right now.

They talked absently about work and Rachel's schedule, easy and comfortable subjects that didn't cause conflict. It was an hour later that Quinn failed to stifle a yawn as she checked her watch.

"I should go." Rachel stood.

"Sorry, It's just I have an early call time and today was a bit manic, so...I'll call you a taxi?"

"Thanks and thanks for talking to me, for letting me explain."

It wasn't long before she was seeing Rachel out of the door, the brunette leaning back in to place a chaste kiss to Quinn's cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Quinn said as she tried not to grab Rachel and kiss her back like her life depended on it.

"You will." Rachel smiled back at her and then climbed into the taxi, waving as it drove away.

xxx

Quinn slowly closed the door and fell back against it, sinking to the floor. She wasn't sure if she was happy or relieved or just numb, she chose numb, because none of her feelings seemed to be complete, they were all just hanging on the precipice of being something, but she couldn't say what.

Since she'd left New York she'd been a mess, Rachel's words to Jesse had rocked her, then the magazine appeared and she was wrecked. Before that she'd felt guilty for walking out and leaving Rachel that night, the fact that Rachel didn't call had made her feel worse, but then she saw that kiss and she was left hating herself for being so ready to fall in love with Rachel, because nothing had ever hurt like this.

Then Rachel had arrived and said the things Quinn needed to hear, the truth. That Jesse was a jerk and that Rachel did like her, but it was all just words and words had been said and promises had been broken. As those thoughts spiraled in her mind she somehow got to her feet and made her way into the kitchen, a bottle of vodka was waiting for her and as she swallowed the first glass, she took comfort as the warmth filled her from inside and pushed away her woes. She took another shot and kicked her feet out on the couch, desperate to forget her sorrow and wondering if she could really give Rachel another chance?

Tomorrow both scared and exited her, she'd get to see Rachel and yet that was almost a torture at the same time. Picking up her phone, she scrolled down to a name she rarely called and when it answered after one ring she felt her body shake as she said "I'm in trouble."

"Quinn, it's ok, just tell me?" Judy spoke softly on the end of the line and Quinn wished she was a teenager again, in the comfort of her mothers arms. Except she never had that relationship with her Mom, it was all make believe and fairytales but, for now, the thought would be enough, just as it was when she was younger.

"I fell for someone and...I just don't know what to believe now, they used me, I think, it's just such a mess Mom."

"You think he used you?"

"I don't, I overheard something, but they said it was nothing and a misunderstanding, but I don't know. Now they want to be with me, they want to try and I don't know what to do because I saw a photo of them kissing someone else and she um...they...uh...said that it was just a stupid prank. Mom, how do I trust someone again?"

"Quinn...I..." Judy stuttered and Quinn sighed.

"Any advice would be great right now." She added hopefully.

"Any advice?" Judy questioned.

"Anything Mom, I'm so confused."

"Then ask yourself some questions. Is he worth it? Does he make you feel like you couldn't imagine a day without him? Is seeing his face the highlight of your day and does his smile make you smile because your heart feels warm? If you can answer yes to any of those then I think you have to try. Trust will come. If you believe it was a prank and that he didn't mean anything in kissing her, then you have to forgive, you can't drag that baggage around because it won't work out. A kiss isn't always what it seems, but be careful."

"Thank you. How do you know all that?"

"I had to ask myself all those questions once. My answer was no to all of them." Judy's laugh didn't lose it's bitterness as it carried down the phone line.

"Is that why you never got back with him?"

"Yes, and it's what I told him..." Judy went silent and Quinn took a moment to realise why.

"Oh, so then he? I don't think my thing is the same. Oh Mom." Quinn let the memory of the day her father died creep into her head and it was vicious, she wanted to cry but her tears had been spent, instead she reached out for the bottle on the table, but before she wrapped her fingers around the neck, her Mom spoke.

"Don't Quinn. Everything is better now, for both of us. We did the right thing. I don't regret that day."

"You're right, I know. It's just I've never talked about it."

"Maybe one day you'll trust this new man enough?"

"Maybe."

Quinn nibbled her bottom lip, she wasn't ready to correct her Mom on the gender, she had enough to deal with, but what her Mom was saying was helping and she'd been nodding her head as she listened. She wanted to give Rachel that chance, she just wanted someone else to support her in taking that risk.

Her Mom was good for a ten minute chat, but then it was back to the vodka, after another couple of shots she could feel it taking a hold of her body and numbing the pain in her heart. She held the bottle up and looked at it, realizing after a few minutes that it really didn't hold any answers, but took one last shot anyway, before crawling under the duvet, pulling it over her head in an attempt to shut out the outside world. Tomorrow would be a new day and tomorrow she'd try to start again.

xxx


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I didn't want to leave you with that last chapter for too long. Sorry for the double post on that chapter too, I had no idea what was going on with FF that night, hopefully it's all resolved now anyway.

* * *

><p>The next morning Quinn woke with an aching head, she'd found comfort in that vodka bottle after Rachel left and now hated herself for it, she'd done so well over the last four years to not use alcohol as a support, yet here she was again. If anyone dared ask, then she'd tell them that she wasn't an alcoholic. That line had been dangerously close once, but in her mind she hadn't crossed it, but coming that near and the thought of being just like her parents had terrified her enough to stop. She still enjoyed the odd drink with friends and knew how to party, but she hadn't drank on her own in years. Last night was a first and when she walked into the living room only to see the bottle staring at her, judging her, she determinedly matched towards it, picked it up and poured the contents down the sink, turning her nose away from the stench of the neat alcohol, she silently prayed that this would also be the last time.<p>

Stepping into the shower, she let the water lap at all her pain, desperate for it to wash it all away. This wasn't just about Rachel now, this was about her and everything she had done before, so many bad choices and mistakes. The one good thing in the last few years had been Rachel, she had made her feel so good and happy. Quinn had felt that she belonged and now it had been taken away she felt like she was being punished for her past. She couldn't stop thinking that maybe she didn't deserve to be happy and maybe she wasn't made to be loved.

The shampoo had long rinsed from her hair as she continued to let the water race over her skin, it was now washing the tears away into the drain. Finally she turned the crank and the water stopped hissing around as it made it's way slowly down the plughole. Shaking off the last droplets as she dried herself with a towel, she tried to shake off her own melancholy, but it was stuck too deep in her heart.

xxx

An hour later and she drove into her space on the lot, checking the mirror one last time, assured that her fake smile was firmly in place and that her facade was built satisfactorily, she opened the door and stepped out onto the tarmac, ready for a busy day filming.

"Fabray, so good to see you, looking as delicious as ever." Chase grabbed her arm, before she could even lock her car, and eagerly pulled her along until they were at the makeup trailer. "girls, do your worst." He winked at the makeup artist and Quinn rolled her eyes as she took a seat. She watched as Chase flirted with the other woman in the trailer and as she fawned all over him. He was good looking, Quinn couldn't deny that, but she didn't see why women were so easily charmed by him. In her opinion he was a little sleazy, but then she had been on the receiving end of one or two unsolicited gropes on and off screen.

The day took over and her scenes with Chase went well, he was a creep, but he was good at his job and she was at least thankful for that. It was 3pm when she wrapped for the day, a relief after the extended hours the day before, but as she headed to her car she felt someone walk up behind her and inwardly groaned.

"Going to let me take you out for drink?" Chase wrapped his hands around her waist and pressed himself against her. She quickly jerked out of his grasp, not happy to have him so close at all.

"No and really don't you ever touch me like that again." Quinn growled. "I don't know how many times I need to tell you?"

"Aw my hot Quinnster going all badass, but I know you secretly love the heat of my hot body rubbing up against you..." he teased and Quinn rolled her eyes.

"If only you knew." She said as she climbed into her car, driving away without looking back at her co-star.

When she got home she realized that Rachel had left her a voicemail, happy that she had a couple of hours to unwind before their date, was it a date? she asked herself. They'd not really been clear, so she decided that she'd just dress for a meal with a friend, it seemed a safer option right now. She changed into her running gear and was just doing up her laces when Rick showed up at her door, she wanted to slam it in his face and run back inside, but instead she opened it a little wider and welcomed him in.

"Mmm, you have a great body." He said as he eyed her up and down. "Make sure you keep it that way." He added as he sat down on her couch, crossing his legs and helping himself to her fruit bowl.

"Why are you here?" Quinn really wasn't in the mood for Rick after the last few days and wanted this impromptu meeting done quickly.

"Excellent news, you are going to the teen choice awards." He clapped his hands and Quinn resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"I can control my excitement." she mumbled under her breath.

"Perfect and Chase is going to be holding your hand, it'll be perfect and publicity gold before the show returns next week. I think this is going to be great, we have teen vogue interested in doing a piece on you both and then...what?" Rick stopped when he realized Quinn was just sat there, her jaw open and eyes wide.

"That's so much information. Why do I have to go with him?"

"Because you are dating." he said flatly.

"No, I said you could allude to it, I said we'd do the usual. Award ceremonies and magazine shoots is not the usual."

"It's in character." Rick conceded. "so it's just that, doesn't have to mean anything." He shrugged nonchalantly. "but maybe you should consider it, he's hot, you're hot..."

"I'm gay."

"And I don't need to hear that again, no one cares Q. To the world you are hot and hetero."

"Fuck off Rick, I'm doing what you all want me to do."

"And so is the Broadway chick, I hear she's all hot and dirty for that Jesse boy, so looks like I have one less problem to deal with."

"Think what you want. I'll do the shoot. I won't walk the carpet, not with him."

"Fine, you'll be pushed down a minute apart, be warned there will be questions."

"And I will avoid them to the best of my amazing ability."

"As you will, but Quinn," Rick turned back to her as he made his way out of the door. "get these next few weeks right and we'll be talking Cosmopolitan, Allure and maybe someday a Vogue cover."

"Everything a girl ever wanted." Quinn spoke to the closed door that Rick was now on the other side of. She knew it mattered, having a face and being widely known was key in this industry. Making it onto the covers of magazines was a big deal, it just wasn't what she wanted to matter. She wanted to be seen as a talented actor, recognized for her ability on screen, but it was all part of the job and she could do it. Her first thought was to call Rachel and tell her about all the ridiculous, but she was trying her best not to be so dependent on her and they'd see each other in an hour or two anyway.

Quinn was tempted to just forget the words she'd heard, to pretend she hadn't been hurt and to seek comfort in Rachel's arms. She felt that had been on offer yesterday, but after talking with her Mom and thinking about things throughout the day, she knew she had to slow down and not jump back in. The reunion had been intense and amazing and she'd let all those emotions drive her into something that Rachel clearly hadn't been ready for and now she was the one that had been left wanting. She still ached, but she knew she could believe what Rachel had told her about that kiss, she'd known about Jesse for long enough to know he couldn't be trusted, that he'd do something like that just for kicks. The fact that it reminded her of the conversation she'd overheard was the real problem. Rachel had misled her and Quinn had been so ready to fall into a relationship with her, to fall for her completely.

It had been so perfect and just as quickly it all came crashing down around her. Rachel was still here, in fact she was literally closer than ever, yet Quinn felt they were as far apart as they ever could be and she hated that fact.

Finally she got out of her apartment and made her way to the sea front, her feet pounding on the pavement helped to clear her head of all the thoughts that had been plaguing her for the last week. Running was the only time she truly felt like herself, free from all the extras that her celebrity life had forced on her.

xxx

Across town Rachel wasn't having the best day. She'd thought of nothing but Quinn and was finding it hard to listen to her director as he addressed the cast while they did a read through. When the day finally ended she eagerly made her way to Quinn's apartment, but was met with no answer. She waited because she could hear the shower running, when it stopped she knocked again and a few moments later Quinn finally let her in. Rachel's jaw almost hit the floor when she saw Quinn was only wrapped in a towel, beads of water still dripping down her skin, not being able to touch her really was going to be challenging, Rachel stifled a groan as Quinn opened the door wider and invited her in.

"Hey, sorry I went for a run. I'll just be a couple of minutes, were you waiting long?" Quinn asked as she headed back towards the bathroom.

"Sure, sorry I'm actually early. I wanted to see you. Today was..." Rachel stuttered and then realized Quinn probably couldn't hear her so she made her way to the couch and waited there until Quinn poked her head around the door frame.

"My day sucked, Chase is being a dick and I'm starving. Just let me fix my hair and I'll be right out."

xxx

A little while later and the bedroom door opened and out walked Quinn, Rachel drank in her appearance and was stunned at how beautiful the blonde looked, even dressed simply in jeans and a white button down shirt.

Quinn noticed Rachel eyeing her up and down and smirked as she turned her back and put on a pot of coffee. "Is casual okay? You didn't say where we're going." She said over her shoulder to a still staring Rachel.

"I thought we could get a pizza or something. Just simple, not a fancy date or anything, because well you said we'd go slow and I didn't want to assume that...and a restaurant would..." Rachel felt so awkward, she didn't know anywhere yet and wasn't sure where Quinn stood when it came to being romanced.

"Pizza sounds great Rachel. I actually know somewhere you'll like." Quinn handed Rachel a cup, happy that the brunette had felt the same, she wasn't sure about the romancing either. She'd often thought that a pizza and a beer was actually a perfect date if the company was right, but she didn't share that thought with Rachel because then it would mean tonight was a date and she wasn't ready for that. Quinn shook her head as the confusing thoughts raced through her brain and looked up at Rachel with a smile that was easily returned.

"Great, I'm happy for you to choose I have no idea. I searched online, but there are so many."

"I promised I'd show you around and I will. I'll drive if you like?" Quinn picked up her keys and motioned for Rachel to lead the way.

"It's probably the safest option."

Quinn laughed as she walked out to the car and Rachel felt the sound fill her ears and warm her heart.

xxx

"So what do you think?" Quinn asked with a smile on her face as Rachel eagerly took a second slice.

"It's almost as good as New York." Rachel grinned back and her eyes lit up, making Quinn laugh.

"Pizza works for you then? I've been assured this is the best vegan pizza on the West coast."

"It's really amazing and this place is just lovely, do you come here a lot? because if you do I think you'll be finding that you bump into me each time."

"I used to, well...its um near Kristen's place. She used to come here and so..."

"Oh." Rachel found a sudden urge to look around the room incase Quinn's ex was lurking.

"She won't come in though." Quinn placed her hand on top of Rachel's, but as their hands touched she felt the same spark she always did and quickly pulled away. "There was an incident, she got told to leave, so I think we're safe."

"Right." Rachel half smiled, her eyes still focussed on her hand and the feeling of loss when Quinn removed hers.

"You okay?" Quinn asked a few minutes later. Rachel wasn't usually quiet and she knew the hand touch was an issue, it just wasn't one she could deal with right now.

"Yeah, I think so. Maybe a bit of jet lag and things."

"When do you start filming?" Quinn tried to change the subject quickly.

"I have a couple of scenes tomorrow. I have my lines learned and it'll probably be a long day. I'm not sure what to expect really. It's my first time." A blush spread across Rachel's face and Quinn thought she looked adorable.

"You're going to be fine! Really Rachel, it's you! And to be honest you probably won't know what happened when you get home tomorrow. Take a good book or two. I spend most of my day sitting around waiting. It's not as exciting as it seems."

"I have my iPad loaded with stuff to keep me busy, but I'm not sure it'll be enough. I hate being the new kid, I'm still scared someone will see me as a geek and slushy me for fun. Oh god they don't do that do they?" Rachel suddenly panicked.

"Not on any of the sets I've worked on. You know I'm sorry that ever happened to you at school, that I was part of it. I wish I could go back and tell high school me that social status is not important and that the cute little brunette is more amazing than anyone you'll ever meet." Her heart began racing in her chest as she saw the look on Rachel's face at her confession, she watched as the girl bit her lip and she longed to be able to lean over the table and do the same.

"It's the past." Rachel finally broke the silence. Quinn's eyes were drowning her and she needed to break her gaze.

"I'm still sorry, I wasn't the greatest friend to you even when we did make amends."

"And now look at us." Rachel's comment left an uneasy silence that she felt compelled to fill as quickly as possible. "Can I text you on set?"

"Yes, please do. I spend the day desperate for someone to talk to."

"Quinn?"

"Yes."

"Why are you so lonely? I don't understand why you never let anyone in."

"Probably not the best time to be having this conversation." Quinn replied defensively, even though she knew it wouldn't be enough to deter Rachel.

"I think we both know I'm a fool."

"You're not. Damn this is too hard."

"It's not, this is good, we can spend time together, get to know each other again. It's what we should have done in the first place, I don't think we should carry on trying to keep to safe subjects. I want us to make this work and pretending isn't going to make that happen, I'm only here for a few months, I want to make them count."

"Maybe you're right, I hate time limits though and to answer your question about not letting people in, I do it to keep myself safe. It's not always healthy, but I've let the wrong people get close and it didn't work out well for me. But you...Rachel, you make me question so many things..."

"I'm hoping that's good and means you want to let me in?"

"I do." Quinn smiled shyly. Something about Rachel made her want to be honest, not just with the woman, but also with herself. Even if things weren't perfect and even though she was trying to protect herself from being hurt again, she knew she couldn't exist without Rachel in her life, it would just be too sad and too dull. The last five years she'd followed her career, she'd even taken trips to see her plays. Now she had her in the same room and sharing a meal, things weren't perfect but she held on to the feeling that they could be.

"Then that's all I can ask of you." Rachel beamed back at her, obviously thrilled with Quinn's response.

When they eventually got back to Quinn's, Rachel made her way to her own car and Quinn followed, opening the door for her with a smile. Rachel paused for a moment before turning back and leaning in to kiss Quinn.

"Sorry Rach, I can't." Quinn pulled away in anguish as she balled her hand into a fist, resisting the urge to punch Rachel's car. She wanted to kiss her, she wanted it too much, but she knew if she did, they'd be back where they were a week ago and she'd regret it in the morning.

Rachel smiled sadly and it almost was enough to break Quinn's heart, as if she could understand Rachel reached out a hand and placed it over Quinn's chest. "It's okay, I understand. Thank you for tonight, it was wonderful."

Quinn felt relief wash over her. "Thank you too. I'm really pleased you're in L.A. now."

"Do you want to do the same again tomorrow?"

"Um, I..."

"Or the day after? I'll probably be too drained from my first proper day of filming anyway..." Rachel babbled, she could tell Quinn was going to say no and didn't want to hear that word right now.

"Yeah okay, the day after would be better, I'll call you though, see how it all went and everything." Quinn wanted to see Rachel every night but for some reason she thought it'd be better to have a day apart. Her head was spinning again and nothing made sense when she was stood so close to Rachel.

"I'm going to hug you now." Rachel said as she wrapped her arms around Quinn. "Goodnight." She hummed as she inhaled her scent.

"Goodnight Rachel. Tonight was really good."

Rachel grinned before getting in her car and driving away. She was happy that the night had gone well, but it was tinged with a slight sadness that Quinn backed away from a kiss and then seemed reluctant to get together again, but she did have another date to focus on and she resolved to work harder at making Quinn see how much she wanted this and how much she cared for her.

xxx

* * *

><p>AN: Hi, I'd love to know your thoughts. This has been a bit dark compared to the light and fluffy start, so it's been a bit harder to write, I hope it is still enjoyable though? Is enjoyable the right word here?

I think the last chapter was the bottom and from here they have to work a way out of it. Still a long way to go.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Thank you so much for replying to me. I needed a little feedback so really pleased to have got it and really appreciate your comments, it's hard to keep going sometimes.

* * *

><p>xxx<p>

They followed a similar routine over the next week. Rachel would find excuses to take Quinn out, although it was often Quinn that selected the location, Rachel was always the instigator. She wasn't blind to the fact that Quinn never suggested meeting up, she was always the one pushing to spend more time together and Quinn was at times quite resistant, but she was determined to keep trying, she'd spent years trying to be Quinn's friend after all, doing this now wasn't much different, except her heart ached more when Quinn said no or made an excuse. She hoped it was worth trying, but even her own resilience was being tested.

"Did you ever think we'd be doing this together?" she asked as they walked by the seafront. She could see the pier and found herself leaning forward, trying to make out if it was busy.

"In high school?" Quinn stopped at a kiosk and turned back to Rachel with two ice creams before realizing her mistake and handing one back to the seller.

"Yes, school, when we chased Finn and I dreamt of being a star." She watched as Quinn greedily ate her ice cream, she looked so happy and carefree and Rachel realized how happy that made her.

"I'm normally good with the vegan stuff..." she sounded a little deflated and Rachel put a hand on her arm.

"You're the first person I've ever dated that has even tried." She wasn't sure if this was dating right now, but Quinn didn't object.

Instead Quinn grinned and they carried on walking. "No, I never thought we'd be who we are now, doing this. It's nice, but yes you were always going to be a star, that was obvious. I liked being friends at the end of high school, but I wasn't a good friend, I didn't know how to be."

"And now?"

"I still can't answer that. My best friend is a position in need of filling."

"You're a loner Quinn Fabray." Quinn gave Rachel a look that was probably meant to be questioning but Rachel could only describe it as smoldering. "A very sexy, charming loner."

"I'm not lonely when I'm with you." Quinn spoke softly and the words were nearly carried away on the waves, but Rachel heard them and she took Quinn's free hand, squeezing it softly before interlacing their fingers as they continued on their walk. Friends or lovers? She wasn't sure what Quinn needed from her, but being with her was enough for now.

"Do you have time to go to the pier?" Rachel was giddy with excitement, but it soon faded as Quinn shook her head.

"I can't. It's nearly five and Rick will kill me if I'm late."

"Another time?"

"Sure."

"Great. I'd love that. I've never been."

"I'll take you, I promise, but now I'm going to have to say goodbye." She hovered in front of Rachel for a moment as if conflicted, but the moment passed and she moved away towards her car.

"Have fun." Rachel called after her.

"No chance of that." Quinn winked at her. "I'll call you."

Rachel waved as she left. Wondering if she would call. It had been one of their better times today, Quinn was relaxed and being herself, and for once Rachel thought she was getting through, but the physical distance between them and the notable lack of intimacy was killing her. She'd tried a couple of times to go for a hug or a kiss but before she got close Quinn would move away as subtly as she could. The handhold today was a big deal and the memory of it made Rachel's heart flutter.

xxx

It was only her second week, although it had felt like longer. It wasn't perfect with Quinn, but she thought they were getting to know each other better and that was something, except now Kim was in town and things were certain to change. Rachel had been so busy filming and taking Quinn out that she'd forgotten all about it. She loved Kim, in a love to hate kind of way, and right now she wasn't happy to have her as a distraction, she wanted to focus on Quinn and knew Kim would force her to concentrate on work. She didn't manage to hide her frustrations as she collected her from the airport and was now trying to cope as Kim made herself at home.

"So where's your Hollywood dream?" Kim asked as she puffed up the cushions on the couch ignoring Rachel's huffiness and taking a seat. "I thought you'd be inseparable and that she'd be dying to see me again!"

Rachel was still busy tidying Kim's bags out of the way when she answered. "She...we..." she gave up and threw the bags to one side. "I messed up and we kinda broke up, but didn't. I don't know but I'm having dinner with her tonight, we're friends."

"Friends? The two of you, really?" Kim scoffed.

"Yes, of course, but I want more. She thinks I slept with her under false pretenses, which I kind of did, but it wasn't really like that, but yeah I messed up and then that picture of Jesse didn't help."

"Oh that little shit!" Kim slammed her hand against the couch. "I'm so angry with him, I've been fielding calls on that the last two weeks! St James is a menace, he's been so evasive that people are saying you two are _so_ on that marriage could be looming."

"No fucking way!"

"I can issue a statement, but it won't do any good. I just said you are old friends and figured it'd actually be a good thing they were interested in that story. You know with you being a lesbian and all."

"I'm not a lesbian."

"So you keep saying. Perhaps thats why Quinn dumped you." Kim said flatly and Rachel just stared at her, mouth agape.

"She didn't and I'm not, oh fuck, so maybe I am. I just really like Quinn, I always have and nothing else really matters to me right now. Jesse is going to get his ass kicked when I see him next." Rachel narrowed her eyes as she thought of lots of delightful ways to get revenge on her so called best friend.

"If you want her so much then go out and get her." Kim rolled her eyes at Rachel's drama.

"I'm trying." She huffed.

"Rachel Berry, if you were really trying you'd have already u-hauled into Quinn's place by now. I know you well enough to know that, so don't bullshit me. If you aren't together...well it's something you aren't telling me."

"I'm trying to respect Quinn and take it slow." Rachel said a little more calmly.

"She's resisting?"

"She is." Rachel sighed and fell on the couch next to Kim. "It's Quinn. I've known her a long time and she is, well, she is complicated and difficult and so many things. I need to earn her trust again."

"Sounds like she has all the control."

"It's not that, god why do you always have to be right? And so annoying?"

"That's what you pay me for baby girl." Kim wrapped an arm around Rachel's shoulder and gave it a little squeeze. "and if you want Quinn Fabray then I'm on your team. We'll get that girl, make sure she joins us on Sunday, but for now tell me how is filming going?"

"Awesome. I love it. It's so challenging and sometimes so boring, but then the cameras roll and I love my character, she's so dark and witty."

"The director treating you well? I heard he can be a bit of a bitch."

"That's true, but he's okay with me, for now at least. Derek has been late twice and it didn't go well for him after that. I don't want to talk about work though, how's home? I miss it although it's nice to not be stuck in the New York winter to be honest."

"It's bitter in the city. I'm glad I'm here too. We have a bit of press tomorrow, nothing too challenging and a promotional photo shoot that they want to get set up for the advertisers. When are you seeing Quinn?"

"Later." Rachel looked at the clock aware that she needed to start getting ready soon. "I suppose you could join us?"

"I'll go see my friend tonight. We have an early start though, so don't be out too late."

"Yes, Mom."

"Ugh! Rachel?" Kim made Rachel look at her. "Push her a little. Don't let her be in charge, okay?"

Rachel nodded, she knew what Kim meant, but she wasn't sure if it was the right time to push Quinn into anything because apart from their own issues, she was so stressed about the awards ceremony and the magazine shoot and Rachel knew only too well that Quinn didn't react well when she was pushed.

xxx

"Kim says Hi."

"No, she didn't" Quinn laughed as she took Rachel's coat and handed it to the waiter.

"Well, maybe she didn't, but she asked after you."

"I expect she's happy we aren't together anymore." The words fell from Quinn's mouth and she instantly wanted to take them back when she saw the look on Rachel's face.

"She wasn't, she isn't." Rachel stammered as she tried to duck her head, desperate for Quinn not to see her face.

"I shouldn't have said that." Quinn spoke softly but assuredly as she reached out and took Rachel's hand, this time she didn't pull it away when she felt that same spark, this time she squeezed it instead. "I shouldn't and I didn't want to make you sad, okay?" she added, shaking her head.

"It's okay. We're going out Sunday, I thought maybe you'd come? I'm not really a party girl and Kim can get a bit wild, but I...um...you don't have to or anything. Just..."

"I'm walking the carpet remember?" Quinn shrugged. "I could join you after maybe, but I don't know what time. I'm supposed to do the after parties and network. Are you sure Kim will be okay with me turning up?" Quinn rubbed her temples, the idea of a night out with Rachel and Kim didn't appeal to her at all, not after she'd been blinded by cameras and interrogated by reporters anyway, yet the idea of not being there seemed worse right now and having something to get her through a night of media and lies would make it easier.

"She will, yes. You have to come. We'll be out late and Kim likes to party hard! So I'll need you to rescue me or god knows where I'll end up."

"God knows." Quinn mumbled, the thought of Rachel being in a state frightened her. "I'll be there." She affirmed.

"Yey." Rachel clapped her hands together jubilantly. "I hope Sunday isn't as bad as you keep imagining, I'm sure Chase..."

"Chase will be a dick, he always is."

"Well, when you are done with him, we'll be sure to have a great time." Rachel said before picking up the menu and flicking the pages. Quinn had again found a place with the perfect menu.

xxx

A little later and they'd gone back to Quinn's for coffee, it was becoming clear that although meals out were nice, Quinn didn't really relax when they were in public, so Rachel had managed to create several excuses over the last few dates as to why she should come back to Quinn's afterwards, coffee was usually a winner, but she'd even come up with a random request to borrow a coat that she knew wouldn't fit her, still Quinn played along and it was the thirty minutes at the end of the night that Rachel enjoyed the most, because she could feel she was slowly breaking down Quinn's resistance, but for some reason tonight she wasn't having any luck. Quinn was uptight about the weekend and kept complaining about Chase. With a heavy sigh, she gave in and rose from the couch, leaving her hand out for Quinn to take. "thank you for tonight."

"It was fun, I've enjoyed spending time together." Quinn looked taken aback at Rachel's sudden departure.

"You have? Just I thought you weren't and I'd like to see more of you, but I was worried that you didn't want to." Rachel stopped talking when Quinn's finger pressed softly against her lips.

"I still like you. I want to spend time together."

Rachel raised her hand and gently took hold of Quinn's, removing it from her mouth. She arched forward desperate to taste the soft pink lips that she had been missing the last few weeks. Her eyes flicked to her target and she noticed Quinn's tongue dart out and wet them, she almost groaned with desire, but just as she was about to close her eyes, Quinn took a step back yet again and Rachel felt the tug in her chest.

"Sorry." Rachel ducked her head, she couldn't look at Quinn now, being rejected was becoming too frequent an occurrence.

"I'm not sure we should. I'm sorry, it's just too confusing and when I kiss you..."

"You forget everything?"

"I do."

"Failing to see why this is bad." Rachel quipped but then saw Quinn's face and softly added "It's okay. I'll wait. I'll see you Sunday." Rachel picked up her purse and hurriedly made her exit, she felt the tears stinging in the corner of her eyes and was trying desperately to hold it together. Just as she pulled the door open she felt Quinn's fingers wrap around her wrist. She froze at the touch, her eyes locked shut as she desperately tried to carry on breathing.

"Rachel." Quinn said breathily from behind her, she could feel her moving closer, the fingers on her wrist moving to her waist and Quinn's uneven breath was now ghosting against her ear. "Rachel." She said again, her body now pressed against the brunettes from behind. Rachel felt like her heart was about to leap out of her chest, hearing her name fall from Quinn's mouth in that way only left her wanting, she let herself fall into Quinn's arms.

"Quinn." her own voice cracked as she said the woman's name almost pleadingly. "I want to move on, I need you to forgive me."

Quinn moved her hands so that they were now flat on Rachel's stomach, pulling her body closer and holding on a little tighter, she rested her chin on Rachel's shoulder, their faces almost touching. Her voice was still barely above a whisper and her breath was warm on Rachel's cheek. "I forgave you already Rachel. I need you and I'm trying."

Rachel felt like she was going to melt into a puddle of goo and was glad to be in Quinn's arms or she'd probably have fallen to the floor.

"I need you too." Rachel replied, knowing it was now a lot more than that, she'd figured her own feelings out, she just didn't know how to make that clear or how to express them to Quinn when she was so reticent and now definitely wasn't the right time.

They stood like that for several minutes, Rachel had closed her eyes and was taking comfort in the sound of Quinn's heart beating against her back, wishing that the moment didn't have to end, but the door was still open and a passing neighbor disturbed their peace.

"I'll see you Sunday." Quinn eventually let go of her grip on Rachel's waist and without looking back Rachel walked out of the door, knowing that if she did look then she'd have not been able to control herself, they'd made a step forward, it was small and she didn't want to ruin it and give Quinn the opportunity to reject her again. Quinn had given her some hope and tonight that would have to suffice. Shakily she turned the key in the ignition and put the car into reverse, when she finally chanced a look back, she saw Quinn still watching her, a strange look on her face that Rachel hadn't seen before, but it was nice and made Rachel smile back shyly as she drove back home.

xxx

* * *

><p>AN: The awards ceremony is next and some old faces appear. Quinn will be tested.


	15. Chapter 15

"If you put your hand there again I'm going to break it." Quinn bit out between clenched teeth as she attempted to keep her smile in place, the flashes were going off all around her and she could barely see, but she could definitely feel.

"You gotta stop playing so hard to get." Chase replied through his own forced smile as he moved his hand off Quinn's ass and instead hooked it around her waist pulling her closer. "we're a couple, it's about time we did what couples do."

"I have no intention of ever doing anything like that with you, now let me go." She pulled away and somehow managed to make it look graceful and not like she was running away from Chase and his hands, she waved to some unknown face in the crowd, using it as an excuse to move further away from Chase. She'd arrived ten minutes ago and it'd been going fine, but then suddenly he sidled up next to her and all the paps turned to capture the moment. She was going to kill Rick when she saw him, she'd specifically said no handhold and she knew that instead they'd arranged this behind her back. Now pictures of the new TV wonder couple would be everywhere and the lie was firmly in place. She hated that she was a part of it, what she hated more was that this had been arranged against her wishes, but for now she kept smiling. It would be another couple of hours before she'd see Rachel and finally be able to let go of some of her stress, although knowing she'd have to share her with Kim tonight wasn't helping her mood.

"Hey Q." she turned to the crowd and was shocked to see a familiar face smiling back at her.

"Puck? What are you doing here?"

"I got some work, they wanted me to set some stuff up for tonight. You see that podium? I built it. Carpenter extraordinaire." he folded his arms across his chest as he nodded proudly.

"I never knew."

"Yeah, I've got hidden talents." He shrugged trying to move away from an eager fangirl in the crowd.

"And you came tonight?"

"I moved out here before Christmas. Marcus from the mill offered me some work and hey there wasn't much keeping me in Lima, so yeah L.A baby and then I was here today and I heard your name mentioned so wanted to stop by."

"You wore a suit?"

"Uh yeah. I means it's Hollywood, I thought it was law."

Quinn laughed and felt her assistant pulling at her elbow. "Ms Fabray, you need to move on. E! Want to talk to you."

"Sure, Kelsey is it?"

"Yes."

"You see the guy there, the one with the bad mohawk?" Kelsey nodded. "Can you get him a pass? He's an old friend."

"I'll see what I can do. He's cute."

"He's trouble, but all yours if you want him."

Minutes later and Noah was standing in the background as Quinn walked the carpet. She grabbed his arm and dragged him inside as soon as she was done.

"Whoa that is some crazy shit you do." Puck was still rubbing his eyes from all the flashes.

"I'm so glad you're here." She bumped his shoulder playfully, but meant every word, someone to protect her from Chase was exactly what she needed tonight.

"I saw that dude getting a bit hands on. You okay about that? I thought you were uh...gay?" he whispered the gay and it made Quinn laugh loudly.

"I'm so not okay with it and yes I'm gay, but we don't talk about that. It's not the done thing." She whispered back conspiratorially.

"Hot. Berry too?"

"She's in town, I can't say any more than that."

"Why isn't she here?"

"They don't really know her yet."

"You got me in, you could have brought her." It all sounded so simple falling from Pucks mouth and Quinn couldn't believe she'd never thought about it, she knew she could never bring Rachel, it would have been too dangerous and then suddenly she realized that not once had she talked to Rachel about it. She'd not asked the girl she was dating if she wanted to come because she couldn't, but she should have asked her if she was okay about it.

"I think I've fucked up."

"Oh Quinn, when do you not?" Puck pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm here now, so lets party, coz the Puckasaurus is in need of some action."

"I hate to tell you that we have a two hour ceremony to get through first."

"I'm down with that." He grinned.

xxx

Two hours later and Puck was groaning loudly. Quinn rolled her eyes and pulled him to one side.

"We can go, just be nice on the way out." She checked her phone and was happy to see a message from Rachel.

**Hurry up. Kim is drunk, I may be a little too. Miss you x**

And then a new message came in.

**I'm on my own at the bar, Kim is making a mess on the dance floor, please say you'll be here soon. x**

She didn't reply it had been an hour since Rachel's last message and Puck and Kelsey were already getting into a car.

"Rick is gonna kill you for skipping the after party." Kelsey said as she ran her fingers up and down Puck's thigh. Quinn had seen it all before and tried to look away.

"I'm going to kill Rick or fire him."

"He's one of the best, you know without him you'd be nothing."

"Shit are you screwing him too?" Kelsey's face said it all and Quinn resolved to get a new assistant, one that she picked herself.

The rest of the car ride was spent in an awkward silence, Puck had shifted away from Kelsey and Quinn was busy staring out of the window, wondering how her life had turned into this.

Finally they arrived and she made sure she was a stride ahead of the others as she made her way in. It didn't take long for her to spot Rachel and when she did she froze on the spot. She watched as the brunette laughed freely at the bar, she didn't recognize the person with her at first, but when he laughed too and threw his head back she was certain, there really was no mistaking Jesse St James.

xxx

She turned and headed back towards the door, but was stopped by a perplexed Puck.

"What's up?"

"Rachel's in there."

"I know, that's why we're here."

"She's with Jesse."

"Nice." Puck took in Quinn's expression. "So jealousy still plagues you? Girls only got eyes for you."

"I wish I could be sure."

"You like her right?" Puck pulled her back out into the entrance so that they could talk more easily. Kelsey pushed past the pair as they tried to talk, Quinn was happy to lose the other girl, she really didn't need her hanging on tonight.

"Yeah, always, but maybe we aren't meant to be."

"Oh girl, you two are so meant to be, always have. I wish I'd seen it sooner, it's so fucking hot! But apart from that it's special, you gotta go for it Quinn, don't mess up and don't hurt Rachel."

"She's the one that's in there laughing with the guy that ripped us apart."

"Did he really?"

"Fuck, no he didn't, but I like to blame him." Quinn rested against the door frame and picked at a loose thread on her dress as she contemplated what to do next.

"Maybe you'd be better off going in there and showing him that she's yours, that you two are meant to be."

"Maybe I could just go home and hide?" she countered, not ready to make any bold steps just yet.

"Not with me as your wingman. You and Berry are happening and I'm not letting you stop it." Puck took her hand and dragged her into the bar. Quinn took a deep breath as they got closer to Rachel, she could hear her laughter now and knew the second Rachel had seen Puck because a scream rang out, but silence followed and Quinn didn't have to look to know Rachel had seen her too.

"Quinn, you got here." Rachel pushed past Noah and took Quinn's hand, pulling her into a booth and away from the two men that just watched the pair leave.

"I did. Looks like you found an old friend." Quinn was angry and struggled to hide it, something about Jesse being so close to Rachel had her riled.

"Honestly he just showed up, I didn't even know he was in town and he explained everything, you should hear him out." Rachel saw Quinn grimace. "OK, so maybe not, but trust in me, he was just trying to help us. He's a conceited prick, but he was trying and he's my friend."

"Can we just go?"

"If you want." Rachel slumped into the seat, she didn't want to go, she'd wanted to have fun with Quinn. "I'll go tell Kim." Rachel stood up but Quinn pulled her back down.

"No don't. I'm being stupid. I just need a drink, I'm not taking you away when you're having fun."

"Not _fun_ so much, have you seen Kim?" Rachel nodded towards the dance floor and Quinn turned to see the woman they were talking about strutting her stuff.

"Oh my god." Quinn exclaimed.

"I'll get you that drink." Rachel waved to the bar tender, but she was stopped as Puck arrived with a round of tequila's.

"Kissed and made out yet?" he said as he put the tray down and took no answer before joining them. "Great, now can we party?"

"When did you get here?" Rachel asked as she gratefully took a shot.

"He turned up tonight, he was my sort of date at the awards, he kinda saved me." Quinn smiled at Puck before turning to Rachel. "Rach, I'm sorry I never thought to talk about it with you. I should have and I wish I could have taken you."

"You do?" Rachel was surprised at the revelation, she'd listened to Quinn moan on about the awards, but never once had it come up that Rachel could have been her date. Rachel had thought about it though, she'd wondered what it would be like to go to one of these things, but mostly she thought about what it'd be like to walk a red carpet at Quinn's side. She hoped one day it would happen, even though she knew the possibility was very slim.

"I really do." Quinn said in earnest. "We're kinda dating right?"

"Yeah kinda." Rachel nodded, but a smile crept to the corner of her mouth. She still wasn't sure what they were. Kissing, making out and all the rest is something they certainly weren't though and she was finding it hard. Especially when Quinn insisted on looking so amazing at all times. Rachel knew it was something special, something worth trying for and as they kept teetering around their feelings she was becoming increasingly aware that her own emotions had deepened and as terrifying as it was, she couldn't fight it. She wanted it. Her thoughts were interrupted when Jesse sat down, she felt Quinn shift uncomfortably and didn't think twice before placing her hand on the blondes knee under the table.

"Quinn, so good to see you." Jesse attempted to be charming, but it was lost on Quinn.

"Fuck you." Quinn didn't care what he thought of her.

"Bitch can bite."

"Jesse." Rachel reprimanded.

"Sorry," he said to Rachel, before focussing his attention on Quinn. "and I'm truly sorry Quinn. I just thought that I'd get you all jelly and you'd finally sweep Rachel off her feet. If I'd known I'd cause all this UST between you I'd have stayed out of it."

"What UST?" Rachel asked but her question was drowned out by Quinn.

"Stayed out of it? No one asked you to get involved. What are you even doing here?"

"Look I said sorry. You need to get over it."

"I'll get over it when you get out of town." Quinn snapped.

"Work darling! I'm here for work, so you might need to get used to this pretty face."

"So help me St Jackass, if you talk to either of my girls like that again." Puck rose to his feet and Jesse instantly recoiled into his seat.

"I'm just jealous okay." He retorted. "I always thought she'd be mine one day."

"Never gonna happen." Quinn scoffed.

Rachel squeezed Quinn's thigh before turning to Jesse. "Quinn's right, but can we all try and play nice, please. You're my friend Jesse and Quinn, well Quinn is..."

Jesse looked between the pair and nodded. "I'm sorry, really! I shouldn't have been rude and I shouldn't have kissed Rachel, I saw the pap and I thought if you saw you had competition then you'd...I don't know actually, do something valiant...obviously I was wrong. So I'm a dick and you can't blame Rachel okay? I hate to see you breaking my baby's heart, because she doesn't deserve that, not when it's my fault."

Quinn looked from Jesse to Rachel, her jaw agape as she tried to digest his words, was she breaking Rachel's heart? The look on Rachel's face gave her an answer she wasn't prepared for and she felt a sudden urge go back and erase everything. The best she could do in that moment was reach out her hand and when Jesse realized what she was doing and took her hand in his, she saw Rachel smile.

"I'll try to be nice to you, for Rachel's sake and I promise I don't ever want to break her heart." Her eyes were locked on Rachel as she said those words and she was certain she saw the brown orbs she loved glaze over, before she could process anything they were interrupted again.

"Hollywood dream!" Kim screamed as she made her way over to the group, landing at the table and promptly taking a seat on Puck's lap. "and a very sexy boy too, where've you been hiding sugar?"

"Ugh, Is Kim always this cheesy?" Jesse grimaced before ordering another round of drinks.

The group fell into a more relaxed state and chatted easily amongst themselves as the drinks continued to flow.

Quinn focussed her attention on Rachel, making sure she was happy and enjoying herself. She'd not meant to hurt Rachel and until Jesse pointed it out she hadn't realized that she was. Her own pain had blinded her and now she knew she had some making up to do. The last two weeks had been great in her eyes, she'd not been open to anything intimate, but she had loved spending time with Rachel, she felt they were finally getting to know each other again and she knew it's what they should have done in the first place, instead of rushing into things.

Quinn stopped drinking, instead thinking of ways to make things work with Rachel. It had been a hell of a week and she was glad to be ending it in a happier mood, Rachel's hand was still firmly planted on her thigh, but now her hand was on top of it and their fingers were interlaced.

xxx

"Come back to mine." Rachel whispered in Quinn's ear and it made the blonde shudder.

Quinn composed herself before turning to face Rachel, she took both of Rachel's hands in hers "I don't think we should rush. I like you, but I don't want to mess it up this time it feels like a second chance and I think we need that. I didn't want to hurt you, I never meant to make you feel like I didn't want you, coz I do, I really do. Shit Rachel, I wanted you so much, but I guess I just need to be sure it's right for us both this time and not just 7 years worth of built up emotions. Does that sound okay?"

Rachel tilted her head and stared at her a small smile playing on her lips. "No rushing." She nodded. "I can really live with that if you mean what you say? I want this too Quinn, I want it so much it hurts and I don't want to screw it up again, so we'll do what you say, but you have to come back to mine."

"What?" Quinn looked perplexed, sure that she'd explained herself well enough and that Rachel surely understood she wasn't ready for them to rush into a sexual relationship like they had the last time.

"No really, you have to come. You can't leave me on my own with those two." Rachel pointed to Kim who was still sitting on Puck, except now their lips were locked and Puck's hands were moving underneath her clothes. "and you were the one that bought him so I blame you..."

"Fine, but we can't. I mean...I want to sometime, but not like this."

"I promise to keep my hands to myself, but you must not leave me on my own." Rachel laughed and it filled Quinn's ears and made her heart feel so warm, she'd missed that feeling and was glad she was finally able to let it back into her life.

Quinn only realized the impact of her decision when they got back to Rachel's. Puck and Kim were at least attempting to be sociable, but when Quinn realized that Kim was set up in the spare room and Jesse was making himself very comfortable on the couch, it meant the only place she could sleep was Rachel's room or the bath tub.

She sucked in a deep breath and prepared herself for a tortuous nights sleep, being so close to Rachel and not acting on her impulses was sure to kill her.

xxx

It turned out sleep was not on the agenda. A bottle of tequila appeared and the party continued. Quinn found some wine in the fridge and poured herself a glass, stepping away from the rowdiness of the others.

"Hey you." Rachel blew a puff of air against Quinn's ear.

"I had to escape."

"Why don't you join in? I noticed your shot glass is still full."

"I try to be careful when it comes to drinking."

"But I've seen you drinking and if I'm not mistaken that's alcohol right there in that glass." Rachel said confusedly, her eyes locked on Quinn's as she tried to make sense of it all.

"Rachel...I...when I first moved here I drank. I drank a lot, sometimes all day, sometimes for days in a row. It was all for partying and being a part of something, but then I got scared. I was in some girls house, I'd been unconscious."

"Did something happen?" Rachel asked nervously, not sure if she was ready to hear the answer.

"I didn't know what was happening, my jeans were undone and this guy was asleep next to me. I panicked but no, nothing happened. Shit it was so scary, but nothing happened, I'd not, not with him." Quinn shook at the memory of it all and Rachel moved closer to her.

"So you stopped drinking, sort of?"

"No, not even after that. I carried on and found myself drinking alone. It got pretty bad and I was screwed up, then I saw you got a role on Broadway and I was so happy. I came and saw you and the hope I used to feel in high school returned. I came back to L.A. threw all alcohol out of my house and since then I do my best not to use it as a support. I'm not in A.A. I'm just me, trying not to be my parents and mostly I succeed."

"I wish you'd come and seen me, I could have been there for you."

"I couldn't. I didn't want you seeing me like that, I didn't look good, I'd made so many wrong choices, I wanted to be somebody, I wanted to be somebody you'd want to be around, not a loser."

"You could never be a loser in my eyes."

"Thank you." Quinn whispered, her eyes were locked on her hands as she played idly with the stem of her wine glass.

"Can I hug you now?"

"Please." Quinn wiped the tear from her eye and Rachel pulled her into a warm embrace, she felt so much comfort in those arms that she wanted to stay there forever.

"I'm always going to be here for you Quinn."

"Rachel I need you to know..." Quinn paused, her voice was shaky and she struggled to continue.

"Tell me." Rachel spoke softly as she rubbed the back of Quinn's hand.

"When all this happened, when Jesse and the night you left. I...I drank, I had a bottle left from a party and I needed to escape, I was so angry with myself the next day, I don't...I can't do that again."

"Because of me?"

Quinn shrugged dismissively, but knew Rachel deserved more of an explanation. "I drank because I have a problem, one that I try to control, it's not your fault. Just when I'm with you control is not really on the menu, it's why I'm so scared...so scared of letting go and taking the thing I want, because the thing I want...you...it can make me so happy, but it could also ruin me and that thought terrifies me."

"You don't need to be scared, Quinn please, I promise you that I'm not going anywhere and if this doesn't work out romantically then I will still be here for you, the position of Quinn's best friend does not need filling any longer, okay?"

"But if it doesn't work out..."

"I mean it, I'm going to be there for you, we may have troubles and fight and things, but its not new, we fought all through high school and you never got rid of me then. I want you to trust me. I think we can make this work though, so talk of failure isn't really what I want to do right now. I care about you _so_ much Quinn, I'm not going to let you fall apart again."

"You might not be able to stop me." She said sadly.

"I'm Rachel Berry." Rachel said as if that was the answer to everything and somehow it actually was. Quinn pulled her into another hug, this time she lingered, letting her nostrils fill with the mix of Rachel's perfume and shampoo and the smell that was most definitely just Rachel, slowly pressing her lips to Rachel's neck and leaving a tender kiss where she knew the brunette liked it most.

"You're amazing." She husked and she felt Rachel quiver in her arms.

"And you're asking for trouble, you can't say 'go slow' and then kiss me there." Rachel pulled away all flustered, her voice was stern but her smile betrayed her and Quinn didn't hesitate to place a chaste kiss to Rachel's lips, it was the first time she'd felt able to give into her own desires since the night she hit the vodka and it felt perfect.

"Thanks Rach, I know it's not an excuse, but maybe you can understand why I've been such a dick lately? I'm not going to hold back so much now, but sometimes I might and I need you to know that I'm just struggling, there are just so many things sometimes and I feel like they all swarm into my head at once, attacking me, I just have to shut down." Quinn felt like the world was spinning again and her doubts started to take over. "Fuck Rachel, I'm not a good person, you shouldn't waste your time on me."

It didn't deter Rachel though, she just gripped on tightly to Quinn's arms. "I'm going to learn every little thing about you Quinn, I'm going to be here, but I might get it wrong and annoy you sometimes, but just let me try. Just to be clear, I'm not wasting my time, you're an amazing person, talented and you've a huge heart. You made me feel so good, I hurt you, I get that, but before then, it was like being wrapped in the biggest duvet on the coldest day of winter. You make me feel special and you will always be special to me, so don't even bother to push me away because I'm going nowhere."

Quinn smiled at Rachel, taking in all her features, she'd finally let go of one of her secrets and it felt like the world was suddenly a little brighter.

"Come on you two, stop eye fucking and get over here." Puck shouted and they both stood unable to hold in their giggles as they joined the party.

Quinn was exhausted but sitting there listening to the group chat and laugh was perfect, especially since Rachel had shifted closer and cuddled into her. There was more to get through and she knew it wouldn't be simple, being together like this was one thing, but facing pressure from outside influences was another. Rachel was lucky that Kim was understanding, but she got the impression that if something got in the way of Rachel's career, and therefore Kim's paycheck, that would soon change.

As Rachel peered up at her, an adoring smile on her face, Quinn dismissed all her thoughts and just enjoyed the moment, she had something to hold on to and it felt better than she'd ever imagined.

xxx

* * *

><p>AN: Some light? Quinn has issues and I know it's taken a while to get to them, but it was an important journey for her character. I hope those that weren't happy with Quinn can now understand why she was like that and why she wanted to protect herself. It's not all going to be plain sailing now but Rachel knows and that is an important step. There are still some things for them to get through, secrets to share and a relationship to rebuild. The beginning was a hot mess of rushing into things. They gave into passions that were built through absence without taking time to learn about each other again, they still need to do that if they want to make it work and even then they have a whole world against them.

Up next - Quinn spends the night in the tub...just kidding...or am I?

Review please. I want to know if you are still reading and what you think? It's gone quiet and I get the feeling that's not a good sign.

xxx


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: just a reminder that this is M rated and contains themes of an adult nature.**

* * *

><p>xxx<p>

"We should get some sleep." Rachel slowly removed herself from the couch and pulled Quinn to her feet. Puck and Kim had gone back to making out and Jesse was boring them with stories about his awesomeness or some such.

Quinn let Rachel lead her to the bedroom and while the brunette got ready in the bathroom she perched on the end of the bed rubbing her hands together nervously. Confessing some of her secrets was one thing, being able to sleep in the same bed as Rachel was another, when the brunette walked back in wearing just a tight vest and shorts she knew she was going to be tested and figured some of her strict upbringing may actually come in use for once.

"I need something to wear." She stood and motioned to her gown, it had been comfortable enough to see her through the evening but now she needed out.

"Here." Rachel passed her a change of clothes and Quinn smiled shyly, they were both dancing around each other, being together, getting ready to share the same bed, suddenly seemed so difficult.

"I need..." Quinn pointed to her zip and Rachel moved closer, gently brushing Quinn's hair out of the way as she slowly undid the fastener. She let her fingers run down Quinn's back, but quickly moved away when she realized where she wanted it to end up.

"All done." She squeaked and Quinn almost laughed, but instead she ran to the bathroom and quickly changed. At least knowing that tonight was going to be torture for them both. She was half tempted to forget everything and go back into the bedroom and give in to the longing she felt inside, but she knew it'd be too confusing for them both, tonight had been a lesson in trust and now they needed to see if they could handle the boundaries set, well that's what she told herself anyway as she brushed her teeth. Quinn knew she wanted Rachel more than anything. It meant too much to her to give in, she needed to be certain, to make sure they were both in the right place for this to work, because one thing she was sure of, the more time she spent with Rachel the more she knew how much she meant to her. Losing her was not an option, she'd never survive. Everything Rachel had said about being there for her no matter what had been exactly what Quinn had needed to hear. She needed to trust that Rachel could take care of her heart, as much as she wanted that to be instantaneous, she knew she had a little way to go before she could give it over completely again.

xxx

When they woke the next morning it was to the inevitable tangled limbs, Quinn enjoyed the warmth of Rachel's body against her own and didn't rush to get away. It was just hugging really, or so she told herself.

"Mmm best sleep ever." She whispered into Rachel's ear and felt the brunette shudder.

"Me too." Rachel rolled over in Quinn's arms so they were facing each other. "How d'you feel today?"

"Better, like I let a great big weight off last night and I really did. I'm..." she stopped when she heard strange noises coming from the next room, she then figured out exactly what or rather who was making them and her lips formed and O shape as her eyes met Rachel's.

"Do you want to get out and get some breakfast?" Rachel hastily moved out of Quinn's arms, she could just about resist having sex with Quinn, but hearing Puck and Kim was making it difficult.

"Lets go." Quinn jumped up and five minutes later they were sitting in a diner.

"You're like really beautiful," Rachel mused "even at 6am, I mean wow." Rachel couldn't take her eyes off Quinn, it had been a late night, yet she still looked stunning.

"Rach, it's actually more like 10am."

"Still beautiful." Rachel ducked her head, but Quinn could see the smile pulling at her lips.

"There's something else I should tell you." Quinn felt her heart fall into her stomach as she said those words aloud, but knew it was now or never. Rachel looked up at her, worry filling her eyes.

"It's bad?" she asked suddenly aware of how pale Quinn had turned, she hadn't expected more, but tried to pull herself together, she needed to be there for Quinn. "You can tell me, I'm here for you, I promise."

Quinn took a deep breath but it was shaky and didn't fill her with the confidence she needed, so she took another sip of her coffee before meeting Rachel's eyes again. "The day my Dad died. It wasn't quite like people think." She ran her hand through her hair nervously, but Rachel just waited for her to continue. "He did come to the house and he...he attacked my Mom." Rachel nodded she'd heard that from Puck. "It's not what people say though. Fuck." Quinn gulped hard. "I got home, I'd been shopping with Santana. I bought this yellow sundress and it was just the prettiest thing, I remember smiling as I walked in the door, it was such a beautiful day and...it doesn't matter." Quinn shook her head at her own ramblings. "I got inside and it was quiet, too quiet and then I heard a noise. It was blood curdling. I knew it was my Mom. My smile was gone and I felt something surge through me as I tried to find her. She was crying, sobbing and I...I was too late."

"He was dead?" Rachel asked confusedly, her brow creased and then wished she hadn't spoken when she saw Quinn flinch.

"No. I walked into the kitchen and thats when I saw it, saw him, saw what he was doing. My Mom was...he'd ripped her clothes and beaten her face, her eye was swollen and her lip split, it was sickening, I screamed out her name. When he saw me...fuck Rachel, when he saw me he laughed. He told me to fuck off and my Mom was crying and told me to go. I didn't go. I pulled him off her. I don't know how I managed it, but then he came at me. Just as he was about to hit me he grabbed his chest. His face was so red and there were these sickly beads of sweat racing down his bulging veins, his eyes turned to panic and I knew what was happening, he'd always had a problem and had pills or something. I pushed him and he tried to push me back with all the fight he had left, but then he collapsed and I watched as his body shook and I ignored his gargled pleas for help, his eyes were locked on mine and I couldn't look away, but I couldn't move. I was frozen. My Mom crawled off the floor and wrapped me in her arms, she whispered words of reassurance, but my eyes were still focussed on him, on my own Dad. I watched as he died. My Mom was still crying, but we didn't do anything, we waited. Eventually, when we knew for certain, Mom called the ambulance and the rest..."

"Quinn." Rachel said breathily, the shock of what Quinn was saying was just sinking in, she moved from across the table until she was sitting next to her and pulled her head against her chest as the blonde wept. "I...you...god I wish I'd been there for you. How can anyone cope with all that?"

"You don't hate me?" she asked through her tears.

"I don't, Quinn, he was an evil man, so evil. I can't, I'm just so shocked. If I'd been there I'd probably have stuck a knife in his black heart for good measure."

Quinn laughed a little at that and Rachel stroked her hair gently.

"No one knows, I never...and then I came here. I missed you, I missed my old life and...I drank myself to the brink, you can never tell anyone, please."

"I'll never tell, I swear. You have me now, you always had me."

"I trust you." The words were heavy with meaning and they both knew it, their eyes locked onto each other and both understood that now they were tied together forever. Rachel held Quinn's secrets.

"Is that everything?" Rachel asked shakily, breaking the intensity of their stare off.

"Pretty much." Quinn shrugged as her tears subsided.

"Well, its not much really, personally I was hoping for far more sordid tales...I'm joking, bad joke?" Rachel cringed at her bad timing.

"Maybe you should tell me yours now?" Quinn probed.

"I'm virtuous and boring."

"You sent a girl to a crack house once." Quinn quirked an eyebrow and it made Rachel smile.

"See I knew there was a downside to dating you, you know all my history, what can I really say that you don't know?"

Quinn just gave her a look that said it all "Rachel!"

"Fine, but you can't tell anyone, not ever!"

"Cross my heart."

"I...oh god...do you remember the roommate? The best friend that cheated with my boyfriend?"

"Yeah?"

"I took revenge." Rachel sucked her lips in between her teeth. "um..."

"Oh come on, after what I just told you." Quinn persisted.

"Fine." Rachel huffed but a mischievous grin spread across her face. "Well, she was really and I mean _really_ anal, she'd always label all her stuff and went mad if anyone touched it, so I put laxatives in her milk."

"Thats it?"

"Not quite. I put in a lot. I didn't stick around that morning and was sat in the lecture theatre when she came in. She seemed fine, so I relaxed, but halfway through the lecture I heard a groan and then another. My eyes immediately shot to her and god she looked so sick, she was squirming in her seat. Then I heard another sound and another. It wasn't just her, there was a whole group of them and then it happened."

"What?"

"She couldn't hold it any longer."

"No fucking way? In front of everyone?"

"Yep and then she ran and the others followed. Oh god it was awful."

"It's funny."

"It was evil."

"Surely she guessed you'd go after her?"

"They never found out...they blamed this guy that she'd turned down at a party, he was ridiculed, I may have helped point the finger at him too."

"You did?"

"He'd beat me to a solo, I...It felt like it was justice." Rachel said with conviction.

Quinn burst into a fit of laughter and despite initial resistance Rachel soon joined her.

"You're pretty evil." Quinn said as she caught her breath.

"Just a little. Also this one time I may have told a guy I really liked him just so I could meet his Mom, who just happened to be a casting agent, we went out for dinner five times and he always picked up the bill but never got to first base, I never got anywhere with his Mom though, so i think that's fair and then another time I had a crush on my professor, she was so hot! and I got a little carried away, she had me transferred, not officially, they said it was better I took a different class, but i think the matching cat calendars did it...then this one time I..."

"No more, no more. I want to keep you perfect in my mind."

"I'm not perfect Quinn, I never have been, no one is." Rachel was serious. "You need to stop putting a halo on me. I'm still as weak and venerable and selfish as I ever was, just now I know how to keep myself in check, well almost."

"I always wanted one of those calendars." Quinn mused.

"You shouldn't tempt me!" Rachel bumped her shoulder.

"I should." Quinn teased.

"Just be sure you know what you are getting yourself into."

"I've never been surer of wanting to get into something or someone in my life."

"That sounds kinda pervy."

"Maybe it was meant to, but I mean it. I want to be the person you need me to be."

"I want you to be you, the person that you were before I bruised your heart. I want her back, because I'm ready now."

"Things are different, this time you get everything, I hope you can handle that?"

"I think thats actually a better deal."

"This is getting a bit intense and the waitress is staring."

Rachel turned to look at the woman and laughed as she quickly turned away. She returned to her own seat and picked up her coat.

"Do you think people can tell?"

"Tell what?"

"That...you know...us?" Rachel tilted her head to one side.

"No idea, but yeah maybe. You are always staring at me like you want to fuck me."

Rachel leant forward across the table so her face was impossibly close to Quinn's. "That's because I do." She whispered and Quinn closed her eyes at the words, her hands gripping firmly to the table as she tried to control her racing heart.

"That's not fair."

"You looking so hot all the time, is not fair."

"Maybe we should..." Quinn nodded towards the door.

"Definitely." Rachel threw some money on the table and winked at the waitress, a good tip would keep her happy and as they made their way back on to the sidewalk she was pleased that somehow they managed to exist in this town without anyone noticing them. Quinn was happy, her smile carefree, as they laughed and joked on their way back to Rachel's.

When she opened the door her breath caught in her mouth and she turned back to look at Quinn in shock.

"We came back too soon." Her alarm not lost on the blonde.

Quinn looked at her strangely and then pushed past and into the apartment.

"Oh for fucks sake." She screamed. "Puckerman put it in your pants and Kim respect your employer."

"Cockblock." Puck called out as he scrambled for his jeans.

"Not from what I heard last night. Jeez. Where's that shit St James? Don't tell me he's involved in this too."

"Ew, no! He left, got some audition or something, anyways I thought he was your bud now that you and Rachy are hot lesbians again?"

"Whatever." Quinn rolled her eyes and turned back to Rachel who was still hiding outside the doorway. "It's safe, come in."

Rachel walked in the room her hand covering her eyes and Quinn couldn't help but smile at the cuteness.

"I've got to get to work." She began to panic when she saw the state of the place, it hadn't looked that bad when she snuck out with Quinn, but then she wasn't really looking, her eyes had been locked on Quinn back then.

"I'll sort it, I've got today off."

"Do you want to do something later?" Rachel asked hopefully.

"How about I'm here when you get home, we can watch a movie, get takeout or I can cook? All these meals out have been a bit much."

"Kim." Rachel reminded Quinn that the woman would also be there.

"She can join us, but not if she's going to do that to Puck..." Quinn grimaced as she watched Kim eating Puck's face yet again.

"Puck?" Rachel called and interrupted the make-out session.

"Yeah baby?"

"Take Kim out tonight, please."

"I'm so up for that." He turned to Kim. "Maybe you could come back to mine, we can be loud there."

"Loud!" Rachel scoffed. "I needed ear plugs."

"No Rach, what you needed was to get down and dirty with the hot blonde stood next to you."

Rachel blushed and when she turned to see Quinn, she saw the blonde was doing the same. Puck just laughed at them and Rachel ran into her room, before getting ready to go to work. Soon she was heading out the door, she had a hangover, but it didn't matter because tonight she knew she had someone to come home to and right now nothing could ruin that feeling or make her happier.

xxx

Quinn stood in the apartment and watched as Kim fawned over Puck, she couldn't wait for them to leave, but neither seemed to be in a hurry now that Rachel had left.

"Maybe you could go out for lunch?" she suggested.

"Oh Q, you don't want rid of us. I think we're cute together." Puck wrapped his arm around Kim's shoulders and gave her a squeeze. Quinn flared her nostrils and tried not to punch him.

"I'm happy for you, now get out."

"You're just jealous that we're carefree and getting some, unlike you. What's that about anyway? You should be satisfying your woman, not tormenting her."

"Don't interfere." She growled and gave Noah a look that she knew would make him back off.

"Fine, I'm gonna take a shower. You ladies try not to miss me too much." Puck said as he left the room, Quinn soon felt the weight of Kim's gaze.

"What?" she snapped. "I just want to clear up."

"I think we need to talk."

"Oh god no." Quinn sighed.

"Rachel is my responsibility."

"She so isn't."

"See it how you want Quinn, but I take care of her, so I'm going to tell you to make sure you don't hurt her, because if you do I'll destroy you."

"Whoa, sugar coat it a little."

"No need. I'm direct, you like that about me."

Quinn narrowed her eyes, frustrated that Kim was actually right. "So no big talk about being gay and ruining Rachel's chances?"

"Rachel is a star, you aren't going to change that. Yes, sexuality is an issue. I wish it wasn't, but if you're both happy to play the game, then I'm happy to make sure you win. You aren't going to face opposition from me, I can see that you have something special. I want Rachel happy, I also want her working, so you hurt her and she stops, well that's when you'll face my wrath."

"You're not so bad really." Quinn said as she made them both a coffee.

"No, I'm worse, but I love Rachel, I've known her long enough to know that you matter to her, so that means you matter to me too."

"Almost sounds like you like me."

"I wouldn't go that far." Kim smirked and Quinn returned it.

"Mmm you two would be hot together." Puck joined them.

"Never gonna happen." Quinn sat back in her chair.

"Never." Kim repeated and Puck laughed.

"A boy can dream and I'm so dreaming that. You ready to go?"

"See you Quinn, make sure you get it right this time." Kim took Pucks hand and left Quinn on her own, she sat at the table thinking about how much she wanted to get it right with Rachel. They had a tumultuous past, but she couldn't change that now, some of it defined the people they'd become. This was her chance and she was scared, but she knew that not taking it would be as bad as getting her heart broken, her fears couldn't control her anymore, she was ready.

xxx

When Rachel returned she was met with a set table, a cleaned apartment and a sleeping Quinn. She tiptoed into the living room and went to place a blanket over the sleeping woman, but stopped when hazel eyes opened and locked with hers.

"Hey, I missed you." Quinn said sleepily and Rachel smiled dopily.

"Quinn Fabray, you are going to charm the pants off me."

"I fully intend to, but Rachel Berry...I also intend on taking you out and romancing you."

"It's not necessary."

Quinn sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "That's probably a good thing, because I'd not be able to do it the way I'd want. So how does my speciality vegan lasagna sound?"

"Your what? Is that the smell?"

Quinn served dinner and waited as Rachel took a mouthful and then another. "Wow this is amazing, you need to tell me where you bought it."

"I made it you cheeky..."

"You did? Wow, this is just so, wow."

"I got the recipe from my Mom, she's an awesome cook when she isn't drinking, I had to change it to make it vegan, but yeah, you like?"

"I love! You can cook this for me anytime you want."

"Was today okay? The hangover?"

"Oh god I thought I was going to die, but then I found the sweetest assistant and she brought me coffee after coffee. My scene was all about the characters angst and inner turmoil so I think I nailed it. It's so much fun and everyone is lovely, so yeah."

"Yeah." Quinn repeated, her eyes hadn't left Rachel's and they both were indulging in drinking in the other.

"You want to stay?" Rachel eventually broke the silence.

"I do, but..."

"I know." Rachel stood up and cleared the dishes, she was washing them before Quinn even moved, but then she felt arms wrap around her from behind.

"I'll stay, but I'm going to have to leave early, so if you don't mind being woken?"

"I so don't mind."

Neither was ready for more, yet. So they settled for the night and as Rachel turned onto her side Quinn shifted closer and wrapped her arm over her waist. Their bodies touching and their hearts beating as one. Quinn fell asleep quickly and soundly, her mind free of the troubles that had been plaguing her, for once she was content. She was always content when Rachel was near.

xxx

What neither of them could know was that not ten blocks from where they slept, a man held his hand firmly over a girls mouth, he'd had enough of her protests. She'd been the one rubbing his thigh and fawning over him all night, he was going to take what was his, he always did.

"You wanted this." he repeated over and over as he pushed himself inside her. He ignored her pleas and failed to care when her resistance gave and her body turned limp. "You're all the same." he panted into her neck, quickly finding his own release. Zipping up his pants, he dropped a kiss to the girls cheek. "See that's better, now you know what it feels like to have me." she didn't respond so he shrugged his shoulders and walked back into the club. He didn't know it, but his actions were about to change things for everyone that had any connection to him.

xxx

* * *

><p>AN: Let me know your thoughts. Massive thank you to those that reviewed the last chapter. I was on a downer from writing some of this stuff, but I do intend to tell the story I plotted out, so hopefully you'll stick with me. I've had a good run since the last update and have got a lot of the next chapter together. Hoping that continues. Please review. Thanks.

Up next: Relationship progress and another old face appears that could cause a problem.


	17. Chapter 17

xxx

"What time is it?" Rachel blinked hard as she tried to focus on the clock on the bedside table.

"It's early."

"Come back to bed."

"I can't, I've got to be on set in like ten minutes." Quinn pretended to look at her watch, but her eyes didn't actually leave Rachel.

"You work too hard."

"I had yesterday off! Anyway I've got to go. Can I take you out tonight?" Quinn sat on the edge of the bed and slipped her shoes on before turning round to face Rachel again, she looked so pretty with her hair splayed out across the pillow, staying was definitely something she wanted to do, but she couldn't be late, it wasn't worth the hassle.

"Really?" Rachel was slightly taken aback, she'd been the one to instigate all their recent dates but now Quinn was making plans and it felt perfect.

"Yes, really. I want to take you out, the pier? I know you were keen the other day."

"I'd love too." Rachel beamed but then her smile faded. "I can't, I'm on a late call, I don't start until almost dusk, they want some night shots and it could be all week."

"How about breakfast tomorrow?"

"I can do breakfast, it'd be nice."

"Great, then I'm taking you to the pier on Saturday."

"Saturday." Rachel confirmed, happy that Quinn had remembered that she wanted to go, but mostly ecstatic that Quinn had been the one that wanted to arrange a date.

Quinn leant over the bed, her face hovering above Rachel's. "Call me when you get out tomorrow and I'll head over." She placed a soft kiss to Rachel's forehead and was gone.

Rachel lay back in her bed, setting the alarm and dozing off, her dreams were filled with Quinn. They always were lately.

xxx

Kim turned up about an hour before Rachel was due on set.

"Good night?" she asked as she peered over her coffee cup, a smile forming at the corners of her mouth, Kim looked a mess and Rachel was trying not to laugh.

"Mmmmm, that boy Noah is just...I don't know how you can be gay if you went to school with a guy like that!"

"You like him then?"

"Baby, I liked him all night. He's sleeping soundly now and I'm bummed I've got to go, but yes, I'm all for a repeat of that when I return."

"You're as bad as him."

"I know, it's perfect. How was your date?"

"It was nice, she cooked, she stayed, but we didn't."

"Soon I hope, I can see you both itching it's painful to watch."

"Good job you're going then." Rachel poked her tongue out childishly.

"She's nice, Quinn, I like her."

"Who are you and what have you done to Kim?"

"Funny!"

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'll be back in a couple. So don't miss me too hard. I'm going to set you up with some auditions, it's pilot season and casting is hot, I want your name to be seen. There's some interest, but I want more."

"Joyous."

"You're the one that is thinking about making this little move, a bit more permanent."

"It's just an idea, but yeah it might be nice to spend a little longer here."

"I'm not keeping you off Broadway, there's some interest in you taking over for a guest spot in the summer, you'll be long finished here, so if it doesn't work out..."

"The auditions or Quinn?"

"Both, either. Just don't make any snap decisions."

"I won't." Rachel laughed when Kim gave her a knowing look. "I mean it, I won't." She said more determinedly.

They said their goodbyes and Rachel knew she was going to miss Kim's company, they had an odd sort of friendship, but it was often exactly what she needed.

xxx

They had breakfast together every morning that week, Quinn only had about an hour to spare before she was due on set, she'd bring the food with her and then when she left, Rachel would go back to sleep. It was perfect. Perfect except they still hadn't really kissed. There were touches and looks and kisses to foreheads or pecks on lips, but nothing substantial. Rachel was desperate for Quinn to make a move, but she knew she had to hold back and wait until the blonde was ready or it could all go wrong, it was all down to Quinn now, it had to be because she needed Quinn to be sure and comfortable.

Work had been fun, but draining, the breakfasts had got her through the week. Finally Saturday arrived and she woke early, partly because she was used to their breakfast routine, but mostly because she was so excited about their date. If Quinn was going to change things then Rachel had a feeling it would be today. They'd been getting to know each other all over again and she knew they had something special. She poured herself a coffee and checked her messages, seeing Santana was online she sent her a message.

**R: Good morning stranger...**

**S: Broadway?**

**R: Hey S. How's things?**

**S: Awesome, B's home. We want to come visit. You and Q off or on these days?**

**R: On. **

**S: Brittany is squealing and I'm trying to hide my smile. So you getting down and dirty?**

**R: Um. That's all I'm going to say on the matter.**

**S: Oh...come on! Details?**

**R: Hmm...**

**S: So...**

**R: You said visit?**

**S: Sure, next weekend? You think Q can handle it? Do I care? We're gonna make you two lemons get all pressed and juicy.**

**R: I've no idea what you're talking about.**

**S: You'll find out ;)**

**R: Um again.**

**S: Lol, we'll see you next week, Friday night, say 7pm. Make sure you've got somewhere awesome to take us, Britt's wants to get her dance on.**

**R: Sure, can't wait.**

**S: Bye loser.**

**R: Love you too x**

**S: :)**

xxx

"You look beautiful." Quinn left a tender kiss on Rachel's cheek before stepping back and admiring her some more.

"You're stunning, when aren't you? I'm beginning to see the downside to dating you."

"Rachel, you are beautiful, but you're so much more than that, so please stop."

"Fine. I'll try."

"Good, ready to go?"

"Yeah." Rachel's voice was shaky, the emotions that were spilling over were becoming overwhelming.

"What's up?"

"Nothing, I just...this..."

Quinn knew what she meant, she'd kept Rachel at a distance for too long and now she had some catching up to do, she smiled and took Rachel's hand. They walked to the car and Quinn opened the door for her. "It's about time, come on."

"It is. It really is." She smiled. "Oh, I heard from Santana today, she's coming to stay next week, wants us to go somewhere _awesome_, Brittany expects, so I thought you might have some ideas?"

"I'm not sure I can deal with those two on a night out in L.A."

"Quinn." Rachel pleaded, her bottom lip stuck out and Quinn chuckled.

"I'm kidding, I wouldn't leave you on your own with them. I'll sort something out, theres a club I used to go to."

"Great."

"I'm not sure you know what you're in for, Santana is wild."

"It's a good job I'll have you there to take care of me then."

When they got to the pier Rachel's face lit up like a kid at Christmas. Quinn basked in her happiness and indulged all her requests as they went on all the rides and played every silly game that caught Rachel's eye. She felt young and free again, just like she should have felt at 17, she imagined this is what it would have been like, if she hadn't had to grow up so fast anyway.

"You're an amazing woman Quinn." Rachel gripped onto her arm as they walked back to the parking lot.

"I'm a flawed person, with so many hang ups it hurts."

"Yeah, I still like you." She'd had an amazing day, Quinn had made it perfect in every way. They'd gone unnoticed, but she knew it wouldn't and couldn't stay like this for much longer.

To all around they were just friends, but sometimes Quinn would take her hand, or look at her adoringly and she knew that would be pulled to pieces once her own show aired, there was already a buzz forming and she knew her face would only be in the background of the promotional campaign, but it would still be there. Quinn's show was gaining popularity and she was getting spotted more often. Things were changing, but they both seemed to want to cling onto their little bubble for as long as they possibly could and for today it was all they needed.

"Do you want to come in? We could get some take out. Share some wine?" Quinn asked as she parked the car.

"I'd love to. " Rachel almost ran out of the car. Quinn close behind her laughing as they skipped their way to the door, but then they both stopped dead in their tracks.

"Mom." Quinn broke the silence and Judy turned around to look at the pair, taking in their giddiness and breathlessness before dropping her bags to the floor.

"I thought you needed me." Judy said as she pulled Quinn into an awkward hug, Rachel just watched on, stunned. "I'm only here for tonight, I'm due in Texas on Monday morning, so thought this was a perfect stop over."

"Mom, this is Rachel, you remember? From Lima."

"I do." Judy arched her eyebrow and gave Rachel a quick once over. "It's lovely to see you again dear. Are you an actress too?"

"Mom she won a Tony."

"Is that like an Oscar?"

"Um yeah, kind of."

"Well done dear. Your Dads must be so proud."

"They are, yes. It's nice to see you Mrs Fabray, it's been a long time." Rachel held out her hand for Judy to shake, it was awkward but she wasn't sure what was called for in these kinds of situations.

"Call me Judy, Mrs Fabray is my mother-in-law and the less I have to think of her the better."

Quinn let them into her apartment, Rachel followed behind, still not sure of her place in this scenario. Quinn clearly hadn't been expecting her Mom to show up like this and based on what Quinn had told her over the last few months, this was definitely an odd occurrence, she wasn't sure whether to stay or go, but Quinn's hand was now squeezing hers tightly as she dragged her inside, so she didn't have much choice.

xxx

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Quinn fussed in the kitchen, retrieving cups from the cupboard and fumbling nervously with the coffee machine.

"I thought it'd be a nice surprise, you sounded like you needed me." Judy looked towards Rachel, then back to Quinn. "I didn't realize you had a friend here though and now I've seen you I feel a little silly, you seem okay. I was just worried after your call. I'd have come sooner but couldn't get away, I'm here now though, if you need me that is?"

"It's...um I do, yeah it's just unexpected, but good." Quinn was awkward, this was a first, she knew she'd been upset when she spoke to her Mom, only now she was aware that she'd probably sounded a lot worse, she couldn't really remember everything, the vodka she'd drank that night made sure of it.

"I should go." Rachel was stood in the doorway looking uncomfortable.

"No." Quinn almost screamed and suddenly both Rachel and Judy were staring at her. "Sorry, I just, no Rachel you don't need to go. We were having such a great time..."

"It was wonderful Quinn, but your Mom." Rachel opened out her hand towards Judy as if that was all the explanation needed.

"You don't mind do you Mom? I promised Rachel food and wine."

"I don't mind at all, I'm intruding on your time. It'll be lovely, a proper girly night, I can't wait."

"See, you have to stay."

"Um, sure." Rachel rubbed her hands together nervously, Judy had been eyeing her suspiciously the whole time, they'd not seen each other in years, but somehow the woman still intimidated her.

xxx

"This is great isn't it?" Judy was having a wonderful time, thanks to the wine Rachel had grabbed from the store. She poured them all another glass of wine as Quinn answered the door to the delivery guy.

"Lovely." Rachel mumbled, her eyes still locked on Quinn, Judy coughed and she blushed at being caught.

"Rachel, can I ask you something?" Judy sat down next to her and spoke quietly so that Quinn couldn't hear.

"Um." Rachel cringed at her sudden lack of vocabulary, it was getting ridiculous lately.

"Excellent. Tell me, is Quinn okay? I spoke to her a couple of weeks ago and it sounded like something really bad was going on, I think she'd been drinking and..."

"You should ask her." Rachel tried to stop the conversation, she really didn't want to have to answer any of Judy's questions, because she had a feeling they'd lead back to her relationship with Quinn at some point.

"I should, but I'm asking you, you're her friend right and I can see you share something special, besides Quinn will probably lie to me." She added dismissively, but Rachel could see that thought alone hurt Judy.

"I don't think I should, I can't."

"What about this boyfriend?"

"The what?" Rachel spluttered as she tried desperately not to spit out the wine she'd just drunk.

"The one that cheated on her? She sounded devastated, but I don't know she seems fine, did they work it out?"

"I..."

"Rachel, she's a mess and sometimes she holds it all in until it eats her up completely, it's always been her weakness. She doesn't share it with anyone, but then I see her with you and I think maybe she has someone she can rely on? I just want to know if this guy she likes is hurting her?"

"The person...I think...Quinn's happy. They are happy and I'm here and she's fine. I don't think it's my place to say more than that."

"Thank you, it's all I needed to know anyway."

"What have you said?" Quinn turned to Judy accusatorially. "Rachel has turned pale"

"Nothing...it's nothing." Rachel sputtered as she rose to her feet and helped Quinn with the plates, eager to move away from Judy and end any chance of further inquisition.

xxx

A little later and food was eaten, wine had been drunk and Judy was yawning.

"You're staying right?" Quinn turned to Rachel as she half asked, half stated. They'd not been intimate again, but they were sharing a bed on occasion and Quinn wanted her there tonight, she'd hoped things might have progressed a little, but with her Mom in situ, she knew it wasn't to be.

"If that's okay?" Rachel looked towards Judy, but the older woman was busy making up her bed on the couch.

"Night girls." She said as she climbed under the duvet.

xxx

Rachel followed Quinn to her room, happy that Judy was at least playing at being oblivious, she'd caught her looking at them strangely a couple of times, most notably when Quinn joined their hands at one point. It was obvious that Judy didn't know Quinn was gay.

Quinn closed the door and turned to face Rachel with a pained expression. "I'm so sorry. I really didn't know she was coming, she's never turned up unannounced before, really you have to believe me."

"Of course you didn't know. That would involve talking and clearly neither of you is very good at that."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Quinn put her defences up immediately.

"She asked me all about your boyfriend, the one that cheated on you."

"Oh." Quinn slumped down onto the bed deflated. "She assumed. I didn't clarify."

"Are you going to tell her? Because my honest opinion is that you really don't need to be keeping any more secrets in your life."

"I am, I will. Tomorrow?" Quinn pulled Rachel down onto the bed next to her. "but tonight..."

"Tonight?" Rachel wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and they fell back laughing.

"If my Mom wasn't here..."

"We'd talk about the elephant in the room and maybe you'd kiss me?"

"Possibly." Quinn tried to turn her smile upside down. She'd been waiting for the right moment, but there always seemed to be something getting in their way.

"Possibly will have to do. Hold me?"

"Always."

Rachel curled into Quinn and just as they had been doing every time they'd shared a bed recently, they fell asleep tangled together, both seeking a familiar comfort from the other and both receiving it.

xxx

"Try this." She offered Rachel a waffle, holding it just in front of her mouth, the brunette was sitting on the counter as Quinn made them all breakfast and Quinn used the position to her advantage as she stepped between Rachel's legs, so that their bodies were almost touching.

Rachel opened her mouth and moaned at the taste. "That's delicious." Quinn wiped a crumb from Rachel's bottom lip. Rachel's eyes darkened as they locked with Quinn's. Her breath hitched and she moved a little closer, pressing her body against Rachel's.

"Your Mom?" Rachel husked, unable to stop this if Quinn continued.

"She's out of it, you probably didn't notice she drank a whole bottle of wine on her own last night, we won't see her until after 10am, its the same as when I was a kid."

"You're sure."

Quinn just nodded, Rachel was perfectly positioned and she was millimeters from her lips. She closed her eyes and leant in closer, she could feel Rachel's unsteady breaths against her lips and could almost taste her.

"Morning girls." Judy singsonged as she walked into the kitchen. Rachel jumped back and hit her head on the cupboard behind her, but Quinn didn't flinch, her hands were still planted on Rachel's thighs but her eyes moved to her Mom and she saw the shock on her face, it stung a little, but then she turned her attention back to Rachel. The brunette was rubbing her head vigorously and Quinn had to pull her hand away so she could check for blood.

"It's just a bump." She grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and placed it on the back of Rachel's head. Her other hand rubbing her back gently.

Judy helped herself to coffee and sat at the table watching the two girls curiously. The way Quinn tended to Rachel was not lost on her.

Rachel tried not to look, but she couldn't miss the expression on Judy's face as Quinn took care of her, she also didn't miss how the woman closed her eyes tight and lightly shook her head. She saw it all and she ached for Quinn, but it didn't change anything. Quinn had to open up, Rachel could only hope that Judy's reaction didn't effect their relationship too much.

xxx

"You didn't have to make Rachel leave." Judy said as she packed her bags, Quinn tried to get her to sit down, but she didn't stop.

"I needed to talk to you."

"I should really go, I don't like being late at the airport."

"No, Mom, don't do this, your flight isn't for hours."

"I'm not doing anything."

"Rachel told me that you asked about my 'boyfriend'."

"Why do you say it like that?"

"I think you know why, but lets do this your way. Rachel told me you asked and now I'm here and ready to talk, you want to run away?"

"You're happy, I don't need to worry anymore."

"I'm gay." Quinn let out in one deep breath. Judy stopped packing, she didn't move an inch. "Mom?" Judy still didn't move. "Say something, please." Quinn begged. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she could barely stand waiting a second longer.

"That's lovely dear." Judy finally answered, her voice was cheery, too cheery.

"Oh come on!"

"What do you want me to say?" Judy finally snapped, her hands were shaking as she finally turned to face Quinn. "I raised you properly, I had hopes for you, I built a life around you and I just wanted some grandchildren and now suddenly you _think_ you might gay."

"I don't think, I know. I'm very gay, a super huge lady lovin lesbian and I can't change that. I have to hide it everyday from strangers, I can't hide it from the people that matter to me, it matters Mom and what you think matters, but it isn't going to stop me. Just don't stand there and tell lies about hopes and dreams, because you lost yourself in a bottle of vodka when you were supposed to be supervising my eighth birthday party, I think you gave up any right to ask me to live your dreams and don't pretend you raised me, I took care of me, I had to."

"I'm sorry that's how you remember your childhood, but I tried. I really did, just some days...some days I got up in the morning and drove you to school and it was so hard, everything about it, I'd get home and all I had was that vodka bottle." Judy sat down on the couch and crossed her legs, she rested her head in her hands for a moment as she tried to compose herself, finally looking up to meet Quinn's eye. "I love you. It's a shock...but if you are happy, if Rachel...I'm assuming it's Rachel that?"

"Yes, It's Rachel, it's always been Rachel."

"But she? It was Rachel that cheated on you?" Judy was perplexed.

"It was a bad idea by a guy we know. A misunderstanding. He kissed her to make me jealous. We've got past that, you actually helped me remember?"

"I do, I'm just...Quinn this is so new, how can you be sure?"

"I liked Rachel in school, its not new, not to me. I hid it back then, I ran from how I felt and I nearly lost her again, I can't do that anymore. I don't need you to support me, but I hope you'll come around eventually because I think this is it for me, Rachel is it. I told her about Dad, I've told her everything and she didn't judge me, she didn't turn her back. When I told her I was scared to love her, because losing her would be the end of me, she held me and promised to always be in my life."

Judy slowly pushed herself off the couch, she walked two steps then stopped, then another.

"Quinn, please don't rush into this, think about your future, your career."

"No Mom, I'm not rushing and I'm not hiding, not from you. I've protected my career, I've always been careful."

"Not with Rachel, it's not something you can hide, I could see something, I didn't want to. I'm sorry, I can't do this, I need some time. Can you give me that?" Quinn nodded at her Mom "Right." Judy dropped her gaze to her hands, but soon returned it to Quinn. "I guess there's nothing more to say? I think I should go. I'll call you."

Quinn bit on her lip, but a tear still fell from her eye, she knew she wouldn't get any further with her Mom today, but looked up hopefully and her Mom half smiled. "Can I get a hug?" she choked out and Judy readily obliged. They sat in silence while they waited for the taxi to arrive, Quinn just wanted to get back to Rachel, she wasn't going to let this ruin things because even if Judy wasn't ready to accept her sexuality today, there was a chance she could in the future.

xxx

Sat at his desk with the lights dimmed, Rick rubbed his temples, it had been a long and shitty day. Rummaging in the drawer he found a bottle of Advil and next to it a bottle of scotch. The perfect combination to get him through his next meeting. He pushed the photos on his desk to one side and turned back to the report he'd been handed earlier. He wasn't quite ready to face the wrath of Quinn, she'd proved to be a formidable opponent in the past, yet somehow he'd always managed to get her to bend to his whim, even if there'd been a little compromise on his part. He hoped that held him in good stead because he needed her now, more than ever and the easier it was to get her to agree, the better. He stood from his desk and routed out the other file he needed. In his hands he held everything that he had on Quinn Fabray, he could only hope it was enough this time. He heard the knock on the door and quickly poured the scotch down his throat. His employer walked into the room a second later and Rick didn't even need to open his eyes to know this wasn't going to end well for anyone.

xxx

* * *

><p>AN: Please review.

I'll try to update soon, over the weekend probably. Up next: Santana and Brittany arrive for a night out and Quinn has a morning to forget. Is that cryptic enough?

Revelations will come.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: I'm sorry about the cliffhangers, I hadn't really thought about them being that, just wanted to push the story along. Obviously I have a lot to learn. More on that at the end.

And sorry for mistakes.

* * *

><p>xxx<p>

Quinn knocked on the door and waited, it didn't take long for Rachel to answer and pull her inside.

"How did she take it?" Rachel pressed as she led Quinn to the couch.

"She didn't scream and shout."

"But she's not happy?"

"Not so much, she's a bit, you know." Quinn shrugged. "Says she needs some time, still loves me. So it could have been worse. I don't know. She wasn't unhappy. I think it'll be okay, but it really doesn't matter that much."

"It kinda does matter. I know you want to say it doesn't but...sorry I'll shut up. I'm just so proud of you." Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn's shoulders and held on tight, she'd been so nervous since she left, she knew the Fabrays weren't the most open-minded people, but life had changed, they'd been through so much together, even if they kept their distance now, Rachel knew that Quinn still needed her Mom in her life. She was just pleased that Quinn was opening up. All these issues and secrets weren't good for anyone and Rachel had a feeling that they were going to struggle if the lies kept mounting.

"I told her all about us, well not all about us, but yeah, she knows we're together you and she seemed happy that you made me happy, so I guess that's something." Quinn couldn't help but feel deflated, it hadn't been rough, but it wasn't great either and now she felt a little lost about how she should feel.

"I make you happy?"

"More than you realize, obviously." Quinn broke out of her reverie and cupped Rachel's face rubbing her thumb across her cheek. "I'm sorry it's been an epic journey to get here, but I think we may have...I know the things I feel...it feels right and..." Quinn couldn't find the words, so instead she shifted closer on the couch and pressed her lips tenderly against Rachel's. Her eyes closed as she was met with the pressure of Rachel kissing her back and when a groan escaped her lips, she darted out her tongue and melted as it collided with Rachel's, with that sensation she knew her world had changed for the better. Nothing, not even that first kiss with Rachel, had ever felt more right. She'd wanted this moment for so long and now knew it had been worth the wait, rushing in for a second time would have left her with doubts and worries, this time was right, her doubts were gone, she trusted Rachel and she knew Rachel felt the same. Her hand slid to the back of Rachel's neck pulling her in deeper as their tongues moved together in slow languid strokes, her free hand moved to Rachel's side, gently rubbing up and down, trying to not get lost in the buzz of emotions that were now surging through her body.

Rachel was the one that stopped it, she parted their lips and rested her forehead on Quinn's, a smile adorning her face. "That was...mmm." She sucked her lips together enjoying the taste of Quinn on them. "Quinn Fabray I think you need to win an award for kissing, all the awards."

Quinn grinned and was about to pull her in for another kiss when her cell rang. "Shit." She looked at the number "I'm going to have to take it. It's Rick."

"Yeah." Rachel sat back reluctantly, but a smile still lit up her face and Quinn couldn't not smile back when she saw it. She turned her back in the hope it'd stop her grinning like a fool.

"Hi"

"We've got a problem." Rick said on the other end. "A few problems actually. Can you come to my office? Or I could come to you, it's important."

"I'm not there. I'll come to you." The last thing she wanted was him anywhere near Rachel.

"Urgent?" Rachel asked as Quinn hung up.

"Work. I better go. I'll call you after? Maybe I could come back if he doesn't keep me too long?"

"I'd like that."

Quinn leant in and kissed Rachel again, softly on the lips, she smiled as she pulled away. "I'm glad we're doing this again."

"Me too." Rachel grinned back as she watched Quinn leave.

xxx

"Fabray, take a seat." Rick's boss Eddie was stood in the corner and didn't even turn to look at her as he ordered her around. She knew better than to argue with the man whose stature and presence reminded her unnervingly of her own father. She thought Rick was a sleaze, but she knew Eddie called all the shots, he could make or break a career and the fact that he was in the room should have made her tremble, but somehow she thought of Rachel and stayed strong, whatever they threw at her, she could handle. She could tell from Ricks demeanor that this was trouble. They must have found out about Rachel, she was sure they'd been discreet, hell tonight was the first time she'd kissed her in what felt like forever. The fact that she could have been careless, that maybe her Mom was right made her confidence drain away, her hands shook and she gripped onto the sides of the chair hoping to steady herself, she didn't want them to see her weakness.

"I can explain." Her mouth was dry and the words barely formed, it was then that Eddie faced her.

"The studio is angry and we need to do damage control. I need you to do damage control." He moved around the desk and sat on the edge, just in front of her. "Do you get me Quinn?"

"Anything, I'll...just not...don't touch Rachel."

"Rachel?" Eddie looked confused and that was when Quinn saw Rick shaking his head at her furiously. "I thought her name was Maddie or something? Rick? Fuck it doesn't matter. Chase has screwed up and we need you to save it or the whole show will die and your career could go with it."

Quinn looked between the two men, completely lost for words. This wasn't about her and Rachel and that meant she could breathe, but now she'd agreed to something and she didn't know what. "What's he done?" she looked between the two men, but neither seemed to want to speak. Eventually Rick moved towards her.

"Chase is a fool and he followed his dick. Some girl is trying to cash in on a drunken hook up, a kiss and tell kind of nonsense and that doesn't look good for either of you. The press have been holding pictures of you and Rachel, if they get out, well two and two sometimes adds up and Rachel would get recast on that little mini-series."

"How?"

"I know everything." He handed Quinn a set of photos of the two of them at the pier that day, she looked towards Eddie but she couldn't read him at all.

"What do I have to do?"

Eddie nodded at her and Rick sat back down. "The relationship is going to be stepped up. Rick has told me you have reservations and I don't need to know about them, I definitely don't need to hear more about this woman, Rachel. You want to save the show, you do this. Dinner, a walk with paps, that's all great. What we really need is a next morning shot too. This is the big sell and I want you to confirm you're dating, it can be via a source, I understand that you refuse to directly comment on relationships and now they have that in print it'd be strange to change it. The rumors aren't going anywhere, we just need to manage them."

"If I say no?"

"You won't. You're an actor. Theres a bonus in it for you."

"Fuck." She had to resist the urge to vomit, the whole idea made her skin crawl.

"It's for the best. Quinn I've been covering things. The guy at the red carpet, the dinners with a certain Broadway star. The heat is on. If you don't do it for you then you should do it for her. I've heard the rumors and she's going to be big, really big." Rick moved nearer, knowing he'd hit a nerve with her. "There are things on the internet that link all of you, a connection has been made, I've done my best to keep it under control, but it costs and you owe me, Beth is not far from reach now."

"When is this all happening?"

"This weekend. The story will go out Monday. We need it out for the week at least."

"That's it though? Just one time?"

"Just this once, for now. He's on his final warning."

"I don't like it, but..."

"Good girl, see I told you Eddie, we can rely on Quinn." Rick patted Quinn's shoulder but was met with a growl as she pulled away.

"Send me the details." She said as she made her way to the door, she could do it if she stayed in character. Outside the office she made a quick call.

"Hey." Rachel answered after the first ring.

"Can I come back?"

"Yeah sure, you done already?"

"I'll tell you when I get there."

xxx

"I thought she'd walk for a minute there." Eddie poured himself a scotch, glad his work was done. Trouble like this wasn't unheard of, but he didn't need to deal with it.

"The bonus of meeting her when she was young and vulnerable. She told me all her dirt and it's been useful."

"You don't think she needs to know about the girl?"

"No, she'd never do it if she did."

"And Chase?"

"Is trouble, but he's a star, big money. They adore him. He could be the new superman, there's the Gucci ad on the cards too. Quinn is nothing compared to him, so yeah we use her, the girls been paid off and doors are being opened for her, so it's not that big a deal, I just wish we'd got to her before she'd gone to the police."

"Connections come in handy, at least we killed it quick. I should go. Call me if anything changes and for god sake make sure Chase keeps it in his pants, that or get a steady stream of whores to keep him quiet."

"Already done." Rick sneered, he was good at making sure his clients needs were met, that had always been his best asset. He'd hoped Chase had put his past behind him, but now he knew that when the drugs returned, so did his lack of self-control. Rick didn't like what he'd done, but he'd seen and heard of worse, a lot worse. This was Hollywood after all. Quinn's secret sexuality was nothing in this town, that was unless someone wanted to bring you down of course.

xxx

Quinn was glad to be back with Rachel, she knew things weren't as they seemed with work, but she was just trying to hold it together. They spent that night talking about all the things Quinn had done that she hated. She knew it was work, but she was so envious of Rachel and the freedom she'd had on Broadway.

"I don't know why you want to come here? This place is evil."

"You're here." Rachel answered without hesitation, it was Quinn that had made her chase this dream in the end.

"Do you wonder what it'd be like if we'd stayed in Lima? If maybe I did become a realtor."

"And I became a music teacher and ran glee club?"

"Yeah, we could have got married and had babies and..."

"I think it would have been perfect, anywhere with you would have been perfect, but we'd have got bored. We're both the same, we both had to live our dreams. Settling was never an option."

"I know, I always knew. I hated it when I thought you were going to give it all up for a life with Finn. I once thought that was all I was good for and we all know I had low self-esteem."

"Finn wasn't so bad, he made us both realize we liked girls." Rachel joked,

"The lesbian maker? Lesbian whisperer? Lesbian..." Rachel put her hand over Quinn's mouth forcing her to stop, but she pulled it away when Quinn stuck out her tongue.

"Ew."

"Not ew! You want my tongue."

Rachel stopped her protests and stared at Quinn, she knew exactly what Quinn's tongue could do. It had been too long, she grabbed Quinn and they fell into a lustful kiss, only breaking for air.

"When is the date?" Rachel asked, her mind wouldn't shut off, even with Quinn kissing her like that.

"Saturday."

"But Santana and Brittany are coming, I said we'd do something."

"We'll do something. I just have to be seen with him the next morning. I'll go shopping in the morning, they're going to set up a photographer, then I'll be in the same outfit the next day, so they can put two and two together without me having to say anything. It's the best compromise. I don't know what he's done, but they are worried enough to use me, but not to make me too involved."

"I don't like it, you need to fire those guys. Honestly Quinn it can't all be like that here."

"It's not, they have great big gay and lesbian parties where all the super important celebrities hang out in secret."

"It's screwed up."

"And I'm in too deep. I have a choice. I could walk away."

"You can't. Quinn you're so talented and I know you love it, we can get through this. Chase is just a blip okay, we've been through worse already."

"I'm glad I've got you."

"I'm always going to be here, but I'm going to cancel with Santana. You don't need that."

"Probably a good thing, I'd have to make sure I wasn't spotted that night and with Santana and Brittany, well there's just no such thing as going unnoticed."

"You don't have to stay at his place on Saturday?"

"No, god no!"

"Will you stay with me?"

"I'd like that."

"Good. I've got an idea, I'm going to take you somewhere, don't worry, it's discreet."

"I'll wear a wig just to be sure." Quinn joked, but suddenly thought it wasn't such a bad idea after all.

xxx

When Saturday arrived, Quinn woke early and headed out as planned, she saw the photographer poised as soon as she left the shop. A call had been made by another shopper, who Quinn recognized from Rick's office.

Happy that her work was done, she got ready for her night out with Rachel.

"Here?" Quinn looked at the restaurant and laughed.

"I got over it okay! And it was the best meal we had together."

"It was." Quinn smiled and linked her arm with Rachel's as they walked into the same restaurant they visited the night of Rachel's first trip to L.A. Things had changed so much over that time and Quinn was relieved that it was all for the better.

"You're beautiful." She grinned at Rachel.

"I'm so hooked on you Quinn, I can't believe we're really doing this."

Quinn's cell rang and when she saw Ricks name flash on the screen she groaned.

"Hello."

"Quinn, it's Rick."

"What now?"

"Nothing, well something. Tomorrow's off. Chase has been arrested for rape. There's nothing we can do this time."

"This time? Shit is that the secret he was hiding? You make me sick, how could you use me like that?"

"It's Hollywood darling! Grow up. Anyway you should be happy, you're out of your fake romance now and free to bang the Broadway chick, just don't get pictured kissing her and it's all good. You need comfort from a friend at a time like this, yada yada. The press will love it."

"Fuck you Rick."

"Charming."

"I mean it, fuck you. You're fired."

"You won't survive without me, you'll little show is going to get canned now the lead male is going to jail. You have nothing."

"I've got all I need. Goodbye."

She put her phone down and when Rick called back she turned it off.

"You okay?" Rachel put her hand over Quinn's, she could see how much the blonde was shaking. "I'll call Kim, she'll fix things."

"I need some time out anyway Rach, I've done nothing wrong. Chase is sick, I just fell in love."

"You did?" Rachel looked at her hopefully.

"I did, I love you Rachel. I always have."

"God I love you so much Quinn, I've been waiting to tell you. I was worried I'd scare you off."

"You couldn't even if you tried."

"Maybe we could go?"

"Mmm yeah, I like that plan."

Quinn pulled Rachel into a kiss, as soon as they got indoors, it was more heated than the ones they'd been sharing recently and it was clear where they both wanted it to go. Pushing Rachel up against the wall, she attacked her neck.

"I've wanted this for too long."

"We don't have to rush, we have forever."

"Forever." Quinn smiled into Rachel's neck, pulling her closer, she couldn't think of anything better.

xxx

The end

xxx

* * *

><p>AN: I've decided to wrap this up sooner than I'd planned, so I apologize that the ending was a bit rushed, but I didn't want to just abandon it after the last chapter without answering some of the questions etc and giving you a happy faberry ending.

I had a whole epic journey planned, but silence is shouting at me and I think I need to step away. My original idea was to bring them into a world that felt a bit like Achele, but that's not going to happen now.

I'd always planned for this to be a love story based on a sleazy backdrop of dark secrets in their own lives and Hollywood. Making Chase a rapist was a device to compare that there are worse secrets than sexuality. Perhaps that didn't work. I certainly didn't mean to make people feel sad reading this and I was a little oblivious to the cliff hangers, possibly because I always knew how it would end, but yeah I'm sad I won't be sharing the whole thing anymore, but I'm sure I'll forget it and you'll forget me soon enough. It wasn't meant to be so angsty either, but I just feel that epic love stories involve some pain.

A special thank you to those that have kept up the reviews and followed all my stories. I always looked forward to your reactions the most. You know who you are and I'll miss that more than anything.

Maybe I'll return to the fandom one day. Maybe even to this story, but right now I think it's unlikely. Sorry again for ending it like this, I've really tried to power through, but it's not worked and I just can't write something when I don't feel anything. My decision has nothing to do with anything that's been said by any of you. It's is just not fun anymore.

Take care and all the best.

Amy x


End file.
